the shadow
Overcoming Your Inner Saboteur
Have you ever wondered why people sometimes try to ruin an ideal opportunity in their life, or deliberately sabotage a promising relationship?
Even though I have done thousands of readings over the years, I cannot help but still be surprised when I work with people who are in the process of sabotaging a wonderful relationship or alienating a loving, caring partner. Reading for people of all ages and walks of life around the world has shown me that this behavior is relatively common.
Not all psychic readings are about difficult relationships, difficult or cheating partners, or boring marriages. Sometimes they are about perfectly wonderful relationships that one of the partners is doing their best to destroy!
In these relationships, the saboteur consciously or unconsciously creates a toxic scenario or behaves in a dysfunctional way that will ultimately lead to a breakup. For example, the saboteur will begin to find fault with their partner, subtly push them away, or find reasons to walk away from the commitment.
Relationship readings for self-saboteurs often begin with them saying something like: “Well, things are rosy now, but they always start out that way,” or “Knowing my luck, she’ll soon get bored with me,” or “To be honest, things are so good with him, I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop!”
It reminds me of my grandmother, who was abandoned by my grandfather when my mother and her sister were very young. She used to say, “All men are gorillas!” I later realized that my mother had adopted the same mindset.
The Ancient Wisdom Of The Two Wolves
The story of the Two Wolves holds a special place among my childhood favorites. The moral of this Native American wisdom tale, thought to have originated with the Cherokee tribe, serves as a daily guiding light in my life.
I must confess, there is some sentimental bias on my part, as this story also brings back lovely memories of my remarkable grandfather, Sequoia, a former medicine man and chief of the Cherokee Nation.
Variations of the story exist in various Native American cultures, and it typically goes like this:
One evening, an old Cherokee is teaching his granddaughter about life and says, “My daughter, a fight is going on inside all of us each day. It is the battle between the two wolves.”
“One wolf is evil — anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other wolf is good — joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.”
The granddaughter thinks about it for a minute and then asks her grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”
Let Go And Embrace The Cosmic Dance!
Life is a mystical dance where the things we know and the mysteries we’ve yet to discover dance an intricate tango. And the universe invites us to let go and groove to the enchanting rhythm of this dance.
But here’s the thing – we often get tangled up in our own threads of attachment and resistance that interfere with our divine energy flow. In order to dance our best dance, we must learn to let go of what does not serve our flow. Letting go, releasing, surrendering is like untangling a messy knot that allows our mind, body and soul to boogie more freely!
In this dance of life, a psychic, medium or energy healer is like a cosmic DJ who can help you drop the limitations of the ego to participate more fully in the cosmic symphony. We help people transform their baggage of attachment into the gold of spiritual joy and fulfillment.
Whether it’s material possessions, toxic thoughts and feelings, dysfunctional relationships, or limiting fears and beliefs, attachments are like veils covering the radiant essence of your soul. You are potentially a spiritual alchemist who can dissolve these veils with the elixir of surrender. When we release our ego grip, we reveal the hidden sparkle of our soul in the divine light.
Dagaz Promises Enlightening Energy This Year
When I recently did a rune cast for the coming year, Dagaz came up as the central energy for 2024.
The energy of Dagaz within the context of the surrounding runes in my annual forecasting permeates the fabric of 2024, and its transformative qualities promise both personal and collective enlightenment.
Dagaz, known as the “rune of enlightenment,” represents a powerful force of transformation and enlightenment. Dagaz, pronounced “dah-gahz,” translates to “day” or “dawn.”
Dagaz is the rune of brave, bold change. Its energy encapsulates the moment of sunrise, signifying the transition from darkness to light. It represents the burst of light that breaks through at the moment of illumination.
It is a symbol of hope, clarity, and the promise of a new day and a metaphor for gaining insight, clarity and understanding.
In divination, Dagaz is a positive and auspicious sign, suggesting that a period of darkness or confusion is coming to an end, and a new phase of understanding, growth, and enlightenment is beginning.
This rune embodies awakening, transformation, rebirth, hope, enlightenment, and the continuous evolution of existence. As the focus of this year’s casting, this rune predicts profound changes in both personal and global energies.
Facing Our Inner Demons
I am in the process of relocating, again. Yes, I have done this many times before. I have repeatedly packed up my most treasured belongings to completely reboot my life in a different town, city, or state.
Some people find moving to be a logistical hassle and inconvenience, while others find it very challenging to say goodbye to friendly faces and familiar places. They therefore avoid it whenever possible. But for me relocating to a new place is an inspiring opportunity and invigorating adventure! Settling in a new place, to explore and discover, have novel experiences, and create new memories, is so very exciting. It keeps me young and motivated!
It is however important to note that I do not choose to relocate because I am running away from myself, my problems, or life’s challenges. It is true that some people relocate frequently because they hope it may solve their problems or help them to somehow feel happier. This is never a good idea.
The problem with moving for the wrong reasons is that you pack up and take all your troubles with you. At first, things are interesting and fun in the new location, but within a few months the ‘runners’ find themselves exactly where they were before. The problems they faced before, tend to be the same problems they now have in the new place. Right back to square one.
This kind of repeating pattern is something I often find with clients I do readings for. Someone I supported during a relationship break-up might call me one day, excited to tell me about their ‘perfect’ new love interest. Things are very exciting for a while for the new couple, until the same old patterns of dysfunctional behavior, conflict or drama begin to surface.
Online Dating Is Seldom The Problem
How does one find that everlasting love so many of us seek? This is the big question. In today’s era of social media and online dating, romance is so very different from the old days, when one would more often meet someone through friends and relatives, or at work. I am not saying that oes not happen anymore, but chances are slim in a new era where more of us are working from home and studies reveal that more than half of adults are experiencing loneliness.
I believe nowadays most people are actually scared to enter the dating scene. Not only does it take one out of your comfort zone, but we have all heard horror stories of people who tried online dating and now feel they will never want to date again. Some people are also adamant that online dating simply does not work.
The truth is quite the opposite however, when one looks at research statistics. For example, in a 2019 study found that meeting online has become the most popular way for couples to connect in the United States.
A 2021 study estimated that about 323 million people worldwide were using dating apps and matchmaking sites to meet new people. A recent survey found that about one in every three people who use these platforms found someone to have a long-term relationship with, and at least 13% of online daters eventually get engaged or married because of using these platforms.
In my experience the dating apps and websites are not the reason why some people fail to meet the right person or have bad experiences with online dating. I have seen time and again in readings I do for clients all over the world that the key elements for dating success are self-love, self-worth, mental health and spiritual awareness.
Being Your Strongest, Most Authentic Self
Many people tend to think that being vulnerable and open is a bad thing, because it makes them vulnerable to getting hurt in life and especially in relationships.
When someone disappoints or hurts us, whether deliberately or inadvertently, it is usually because they have deep wounds of their own that stems from their past, especially for their childhood. These unresolved traumas are often dormant and unconscious.
One might feel this is still no excuse to treat others poorly, or that they should know better. However, because these people typically have not done much inner work or self-healing to really know how to be in loving, happy, and functional relationships. I’m not condoning their bad behavior, but if they actually do not know any better, then how can one expect it from them?
I find people who are stuck in such patterns of hurting others are usually very much defensive and in denial. If you gently suggest what you may need from them, or bring up an aspect that the two of you could work on together to improve the relationship, they tend to instantly throw what you say back in your face and make it all about you. Suddenly, all of it is your fault.
This defensive behavior is a clear signal that this person has a lot of hurt, and is either fearful or unable to work through it. Therefore, if you bring up something that triggers their pain, they immediately see it as a threat. They feel attacked, or that they are being made a scapegoat.