grief
The Dealbreakers And Dealmakers Of Dating
Dating has changed a lot in recent years, especially with the advent of social media and dating apps. But one thing that has not changed is that most people still want to meet someone special to share their lives with.
I had to venture back into the dating scene myself after my husband passed away several years ago. At first, I had absolutely no interest in meeting someone new, but after a long period of grieving, healing, and self-reflection, I finally realized that I did not want or need to be alone for the rest of my life.
I remember so many people giving me dating and relationship advice after I became a widow. They particularly advised me not to remarry, especially at my age. “Trust me, you don’t need the headaches and drama,” they all said. “You’ll never find someone as good as him,” one predicted. “It’s a toxic war zone out there,” lamented another. Relatives, friends, and even neighbors all had something negative or skeptical to say.
While I appreciated everyone’s concern and well-meant intentions at the time, I decided to stay true to myself and trust my inner guidance. You see, I already knew something they did not.
Spirit revealed to me toward the end of my grieving period that I would eventually meet someone new, but that I would have to take the necessary steps to make it happen. My future partner was not going to miraculously show up at my door. I had to put myself out there to meet him.
Healing A Broken Heart
One of the hardest things that we will ever have to do is recover from a broken heart after a relationship break-up. We don’t want to be without the person we love; it hurts to say their name, or to think about them. And sometimes it is hard to even breathe.
When a relationship fails we need to grieve and heal. This is a time to be around people who care about us. The worst thing that we can do is to harden our hearts and build a wall that no one can touch. All that this will do is stop us from growing and learning more about ourselves – to know who we are and learning how to love ourselves again.
We are not to give up on future relationships, because that will not serve us in the long run. We need to be able to feel again, but it takes time. Everyone has to go through their own grieving process because no one really knows just how much you are really hurting. With time you will get there.
So many times we think that the love that we have found is real and everlasting, but true love does not lie, or cheat, or make you feel unwanted. True love makes us feel secure, not insecure.
Sure, we have to work at a good relationship, but when it becomes too much of a tug-and-pull, we have to listen to our gut feelings. Trust your inner guidance and hear what spirit is trying to tell you.
I do not think anything hurts more than being disappointed by the person that you thought would never hurt you. When you are ready to start again, make the decision that you are going to move on, that its time.
How To Truly Honor Our Departed Loved Ones
I attended a service recently at the local spiritualist centre that I found particularly meaningful. One of the spirit messages channeled by a visiting medium was for a recently bereaved man in the congregation. The grieving gentleman had been dealing with many mixed emotions since the passing of his spouse.
At first the medium provided the man with undeniable evidence that it was indeed his late wife who was making contact. She relayed several factual details and personal memories that only the man and his wife could possibly know of. This was especially evident from the amazed expression on his face in reaction to everything the medium was saying.
The deceased wife then admitted to being somewhat of a ‘firecracker’ during their 50-year marriage. She further confessed that towards the end of her life she had become especially difficult to deal with and said many hurtful things to him. She acknowledged that despite her unkind behavior he consistently remained patient with her and thanked him for his kindness and forbearance.
The man then confirmed that his late wife had suffered a series of mini-strokes that altered her mental state. She had also been prescribed medication that further affected her mood and behavior in a negative way. The wife then asked for his forgiveness and encouraged him to stop focusing so much on the negative memories of their final months together.
“She is asking you to please think more often of your special moments together,” said the medium.
Are You Ready For The Unexpected?
It has been quite the saga with the dishwasher in my apartment! It has not worked properly for over a year now. The maintenance crew here at the apartment complex has been able to keep it going, but it keeps flooding and breaking down. They have however grown somewhat weary with the ongoing dish drama, but I still manage to gain some sympathy for my struggles.
The last time they came by to repair the temperamental kitchen appliance, it took three weeks for them to show up after I put in the maintenance request. They took me by surprise, but I am not sure who was startled more – me or them. You see, I sometimes like to work in my pajamas, and therefore I was not at all prepared for their visit! Fortunately, I was able to retreat to my home office and merely close the door.
It got me thinking about our everyday readiness to embrace the unexpected in life. As spirit beings we signed up for human adventure riddled with many twists and turns, as well as some adversity and unforeseen surprises. The only way to safely and successfully navigate all these ups and downs is to be guided by the higher self with the support of spirit.
When we raise our vibration through spiritual practice and a conscious lifestyle, we build a foundational state of readiness that empowers us to calmly expect the unexpected, and to always be prepared for anything.
I think of it as ‘Father Readiness.’ In The Bible, Matthew 24 states that “no one knows the day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.”
Spirit Meets Us In The Middle
About three decades ago, a friend’s father passed away. I had only met him once, and very briefly. Several months after his passing, he came to me in dream with an important message for my friend. I asked, why me? He explained that I was the only person in her life that he could reach.
Her father’s telepathic communication was, however, coming in so fast and symbolically complex that I could not keep up with what he was saying. This is the nature of this world. The energy density here is so heavy and slow, while spirit energy is light, quick, and highly advanced.
To assist me with my understanding, and also help me remember his message later, he showed me in the dream how he was ‘recording it as voicemail message.’ This enabled my mind to slow the message down. I was able to replay it slowly at my level of human understanding.
I later relayed the ‘decoded’ message to my friend. He wanted her to know that he was aware that she had been suffering much grief after his passing, but that he wished for her to move on. “I am still with you and still love you, but it is time for you to start living your life to the fullest again,” he said.
She was very grateful and relieved to receive his message. She cried and it clearly touched her. She then told me that she had attended a grief support group that same night I had the visitation dream. She had decided to give it a try, as she was struggling to process her loss and did not know how to move forward.
Time To Start Living Your Best Life!
This past three years have been difficult on many levels for all of us, whether it be financially, emotionally, physically, or mentally. It has been a difficult time for even the most happy-go-lucky people among us.
Most of my clients have lost someone or something of significance in their lives, whether it be their personal freedom, their peace of mind, their health, their job or business, or a loved one. Some have tragically even lost everything, or in some cases everyone.
Thankfully, many of these people have been picking up the pieces and moving forward with their lives. Some are however still struggling. The one thing I have noticed with those who continue to suffer is that they seem to have given up on life. They appear to have lost their desire to live, or simply to get out of bed each day. But no matter what our circumstances may be, this is the one thing we must never allow ourselves to do as spiritual beings in human form.
If you find yourself still struggling, understand that you have a great strength inside of you that will always carry you to new heights if you just allow it. Understand that this challenging period in our history was meant to teach us what truly matters and what is most important in life. It was also meant to help us release the things that no longer serve us.
It is time to shift your energy. Time to take a good hard look at where you are at, where you have been, and where you ultimately want to be. Each day, declare, “Today is the first day of the rest of my amazing life. I am powerful, smart, and strong. I can do, be or have whatever I set my mind to.”
Time Truly Does Heal All
Time truly does heal all. With time most things do get a little easier or less bad than it originally appeared. And most of the things we worry about usually never happen. Time does have a way of making it better, so we can move on and experience other things.
Time doesn’t make it go away, but it does help us to eventually see things in another perspective or from a different angle. It always ends up filling in the blanks.
Time is also a great teacher. In time, we learn a lot from the many challenging situations and experiences we go through. There is no failing. Only learning. Overcoming the setbacks and hurdles that live brings is never easy or without pain, but there is always learning and growth. We especially become more grateful and there is always soul growth.
Some losses and traumas require more time than others. We should never rush our healing. It will happen when it is supposed to happen. The most important self-healing and personal growth is supposed to take longer.
There are many ways time can heal. It can help us heal through taking the time to learn a new sport or art form, or joining a support group or recreational club that connects with others. It is important to keep busy and talk with others who are maybe going through the same thing as you. Through connecting with others, we can heal them, and they can heal us, through just listening and talking.