grief
Are You Holding On To A Broken Relationship?
Are you waiting for him to return to you? Has your break-up stopped you from living your life? Have you decided that no matter what anyone has said to you, that you know that he is coming back to you?
Holding on to a broken relationship is a common occurrence in many people’s lives. One person moves on, another does not.
When confronted with this dilemma, you may believe he will be back. I know him; he can’t function without me. He needs me. He knows we are spiritually connected. However, this is often not the truth of the situation. It is simply your ego egging you on to believe what you want to believe.
I usually ask people to go into their ‘gut’ and take the heart out of it. But still I will get, “My gut says he will be back.” This is ego, because the response is so quick and without breathing in and allowing your guides to give you the proper answer.
There are people that have sat around waiting for weeks, months and even years, for that person that they are sure they were destined to be with. Life passes them by and, yet, they remain convinced that the person is coming back against all odds.
Many of their partners move on, some even marry and start a family, and yet, still, the broken-hearted ex-partner waits for them to return.
There is a rule of thumb that goes with a breakup. Every person has to look at the true reason of the breakup, not what they think the issue was, not what they blame the other person for (or sometimes themselves). What is the true reason? Many times it comes down to compromise.
Navigating Grief Without Losing Yourself
In my work as a psychic reader, I have worked with many people navigating grief. Over the years, I have witnessed how people process loss and transition differently.
I have often had to guide clients toward grounding, self-trust, and setting compassionate boundaries. And, as life would have it, I recently had to draw on that wisdom and apply it to my own family.
My father was recently admitted to hospice care at his local nursing home after spending a week in the hospital. His prognosis was poor.
As our family transitioned to this new phase of care, I stayed in touch with loved ones and made decisions centered on his comfort and dignity.
At the same time, I made a conscious effort to protect my emotional energy and maintain healthy boundaries so that I could stay grounded.
In these circumstances I’ve been grappling with a kind of grief that isn’t often acknowledged: the grief of realizing someone you love is no longer the person they once were.
Even when they are physically present, the relationship shifts. There can be a quiet heartbreak in adjusting to the present while remembering the past.
There is also grief in watching a family reorganize itself. During times of transition, long-standing dynamics often change. Some family connections deepen and some relationships no longer operate as they once did. This can also feel like a loss in terms of shared understanding and how things “used to be.” Sudden changes in family circumstances tend to reveal where everyone actually stands.
My Grandfather’s Selfless Gift Of Love
Cherubic looking, my grandfather had a round face that was quick to reveal his kindness and empathy. He was just as fast to tell a joke, which he frequently did.
His tummy always shook when he laughed out loud… like Santa Claus. He was a little, round Irish man that doted on me when I was deeply in need of this level of parental love and nurturing.
It’s not too bad a story, as stories go. I was simply born to a couple of kids. My mother and father were naive country folk, and very young. Much too young to be responsible parents.
I think that children back then, especially at those tender ages, were even younger than their years, as compared to today’s worldly young people on TikTok. The world was a little more naive then, compared to today.
Anyway, when I was a baby, my parents left me with my grandfather, for him to raise me. From what I know this arrangement was not forced on him, he volunteered.
He passed away when I was 23 years old, and he was only 62.famil
Granddaddy didn’t want to go, and I had experienced so little loss in life at that age that, even as I watched him slowly slip away, I wasn’t quite understanding the process. I realize now that I simply couldn’t imagine my life without him. My grandfather and I were togetherness personified. I was his hero and he was mine.
Grief Is A Sacred Gift Of Soul Experience
Long ago, I yearned for a deeper life, a full life, a sane life. And the door opened. It led me within.
Now, I long for a deep wound to be healed, and again I feel the door opening. I am prepared for the changes that come each time the door opens, and welcome them with profound gratitude.
I’ve come to understand that these “doors” don’t always show up looking bright and shiny and obviously spiritual. Sometimes they arrive disguised as heartbreak, loss, and the kind of grief that knocks the breath right out of your body. It doesn’t feel like a doorway then. It feels like a wall. A dead end. A great, echoing “Why?”
Last year had been a particularly difficult time for me. So much grief! Layers of it. Old grief that I thought I had already handled. New grief that came out of nowhere. Grief that didn’t even seem to have a clear name or story attached to it. I just had waves of sadness and loneliness that would rise up and spill over when I least expected it.
All part of the process, of course. But when you’re actually in it, that is not always comforting. I remember wondering, sometimes out loud:
When will I get back into the universal flow again?
When will the spiritual things I need for my Journey manifest?
When will this heaviness lift?
I wasn’t asking in a demanding way, more like a child pressing her face against the window, looking out at life, feeling like everyone else was moving forward while I was sitting in slow motion. My faith never left, but it got very, very quiet.
Remember To Treasure The Living Years
Many of us attach personal meaning to songs. Perhaps it is a song played at your wedding, or a family member’s favorite tune, or something meaningful from your childhood years.
Psychics often have songs come to mind during readings, or we find they are playing on the car radio after we were just thinking of that special family member or friend. We then take that as a sign that they are watching over us and that they had just stepped in from the Spirit side of life to make their presence know.
These songs can be the triggers for memories that we once treasured, or continue to treasure, or to remind you how precious and loved you are.
For me Ave Maria and Unchained Melody (from the Ghost movie during the pottery making scene) are songs that I have attached over the years to my mother’s presence. Ave Maria because that was one of her favorite songs. When she was younger she apparently sang it on stage a few times in Vienna.
I never did get to hear her sing it, but family said it was incredible. Later in life, when I found this out, she said her voice had broken and would not sing it for me. I often tried to imagine how great it must have been to hear her sing, as I looked at her picture.
Always Remember That You Are Enough
You are enough. If only, as we grew up, we had heard more such words, even if there was an additional “… and yet strive for more”.
The fact is we were raised in a world where competition is prevalent; where our insecurities are often emphasized to us, or used as leverage (intentionally or otherwise); where our personal beliefs about ourselves potentially delays our soul evolution.
As partners in the Universe we say to ourselves, “Everything has a reason, we each have a soul purpose, all is in Divine Order.”
Yet, when a tragedy or life shattering moment hits, we are so intimately impacted that we have to dig deep to console ourselves and try to reframe that that tragedy has a Divine purpose, and that you have enough and are enough in that moment.
Perhaps such a life event is the loss of a family member, a loving relationship, job, pet, or a financial crisis, or any other life-changing event. Our faith in Divinity may keep us going, but it does not change the fact that we are deeply grieved by this loss.
Our ego will bring up all sorts of emotions, including anger, grief, betrayal, denial, hatred and many other emotions. You may espouse such things as, “Why them why not me” or “I feel cheated” and “How could this happen”.
In our Divine space, devoid of analytical ego, we know in our heart this experience is for our soul growth path and those closely connected with us, but that is still hard to face.
The Unconditional Love Of Spirit
I have never promoted myself as a medium, however on occasion I do get messages from those whom have crossed over. I have always received these messages from those that I have known personally and loved. However, for others it is only if they show themselves to me and allow me to access their energy.
One of the most often asked question from clients when they are hoping to connect with a loved one is often, “Are they happy?”
Because of the misconceptions that sometimes exist of death, and what happens when someone crosses over, I have been led to clarify what has been shown to me over the years.
When someone is about to cross over, even when it happens in an unexpected way, such as an accident or murder, there is that brief moment when their guardian angel is right there with them and takes them by the hand to show them the way. It will be okay and everything is beautiful beyond the veil.
If you ever happen to be present with someone that is close to that moment of crossing over, even if they are in a comatose state, watch their face.
You will often see them smile and a light that shines from their facial area. That is the moment their angel has appeared to them. That is the exact moment they become at peace with what is about to happen.
When you lose someone, the physical body is gone, but the spirit lives on forever. The soul does not die. It does not disappear, it simply is. The spirit, all spirit is 100% unconditional love. When the spirit leaves the physical, there is no pain, there is no hate, no anger, there is no resentment. Absolutely nothing negative that remains. There is simply love. Unconditional love.