grief
Don’t Panic, It May Just Be A Divine Intervention!
From the beginning of my spiritual career, my guides taught me that we are given three things in life: opportunity, choice, and free will. Simply put, when we choose from the options that are presented to us, we exercise our right to free will and largely determine our own future.
While this is quite an empowering thought for most of us, there are times in our lives when Spirit feels that we are very much on the wrong track and will actually change our circumstances for us. While this does not happen very often, I will use my own situation as an example of why they do sometimes interfere with our free will.
Back in 1984, when I was 24 years old, all I wanted to be was a stenotypist. I was so determined to get what was then considered a very prestigious job that I went to college, worked hard, passed my exams, was proactive, and finally got a job with the local government.
I could not believe my luck, as the salary was about £5,000 per year, which is about $6,300 – certainly not bad almost 32 years ago! I thought I had struck gold, but things got even better when I started dating the man who worked in the office next door. Life could not be better (or so I thought) as I had the man, the career, the money – everything! Unfortunately, disaster soon struck.
My boyfriend left me, the girls in the office made fun of me, my boss and his secretary bullied me, and finally I lost my job. Suddenly I found myself in the middle of a recession, with no relationship, no job, no money, no prospects, and I couldn’t even get a reference!
Why, oh why, did this happen to me? I didn’t deserve this! I had worked so hard. I am a good person. I always strive to be a decent friend and colleague. Yet, I was being treated so unfairly.
Always Feel Free To Own Your True Feelings
Has anyone ever told you that you are too happy? Or has anyone ever told you that you smile too much? My guess is probably never.
So, why is it that whenever we experience negative emotions, be it grief, despair, or depression, we are often told that there is a time limit to such feelings and that we need to get over it. In today’s society, it is essentially also taboo to express feelings of loneliness, sadness, fear, or simply being unhappy.
My brother died at the tender age of 12 and left such a void in our lives that my entire family grieved his loss for decades. Fortunately, we were raised to accept this as a perfectly normal and natural process for us. We all understood that we would work through our feelings of grief and loss in our own way and at our own pace. We did not grieve according to a schedule or set of societal rules.
I find that a useful way to think about feelings and how to process them is to think of our emotions as being processed by our heart and mind like food is processed by our body. Just like food, we need to break down, digest, and assimilate the lessons and insights in our emotions to serve as growth “nutrients” for the soul.
Grieving The Loss Of Loved Ones With Grace
Few of us have not experienced the loss of a loved one, a parent, a partner or even a child. Most of us have also witnessed or experienced the many ways in which people try to cope with such an insurmountable loss.
Coping with the huge gaping hole that such a loss leaves in our lives can have a negative impact on people’s behaviour. Some turn to extremes: alcohol, drug abuse, overeating, prescription drugs, or any of the other things people use to numb their pain and deflect the overwhelming feelings associated with loss and grief.
What we ultimately learn is that there is no set time frame in which such profound pain can be dealt with. It can take weeks, months, years or even decades for some. But even when the worst is over, we never really get over the sense of loss. We simply learn to cope and get on with our lives, forever changed, as best we can.
However, the greatest tribute we can pay the loved ones we have lost is to grieve with grace and dignity. Abusing substances or indulging in other distractions may temporarily numb our pain, but how does that honour the memory of the one we professed to care so much about? It also does not allow us to confront and process our emotions in a healthy and constructive manner. Grieving is natural and necessary. When we try to avoid our grief, we miss out on opportunities for personal growth, self-reflection, and ultimately finding peace with the loss.
Why Some Souls Depart This Life Early
In over 15 years of doing spiritual readings, I’ve had to deal with some very difficult questions from clients who have suffered extreme loss or trauma.
One of the most heartbreaking, however, is making sense of the death of an infant, child, or young adult, sometimes after a cruel and very unpredictable death.
Grieving the death of a young person can bring up some of the most profound and challenging emotions. While it is never easy to address this kind of loss with grieving parents and relatives, Spirit has been consistent in its guidance over the years.
Although I have been spared the loss of someone so young in my own life, I am no stranger to it. I have supported many families in this regard over the years, both professionally and in my personal life.
The first time I realized how fragile life really is, was when I was only 12 years old. I was looking forward to the summer vacation from school. One of my classmates who lived down the street and her family had relatives visiting for the summer. Two of the visiting cousins were more or less our age, so I had a nice group of girl playmates for the season!
There was also the younger brother of the visiting cousins, who was only six years old. He was an adorable child with blond hair, bright blue eyes, and a freckled face full of mischief. He followed his two sisters, my girlfriend, and me wherever we went during those carefree days. I did not mind having him around and even encouraged the others to let him play hide-and-seek and many other childhood games with us.
A Christian Mystic’s Guide To Dealing With Pain
Our search for the meaning of pain, hardship, and suffering is a profound and enduring human endeavor.
Throughout history, our spiritual beliefs and religious teachings have helped us understand and find meaning in life’s challenges and painful experiences.
These interpretations provide comfort, guidance, and a sense of peace in the face of adversity as we learn that suffering has a purpose or can lead to spiritual growth, enlightenment, or a deeper connection with the divine.
Our spiritual quest to better understand pain is driven by a deep desire to make sense of life’s challenges and to discover how these difficult experiences fit into the larger tapestry of our existence.
Religions and spiritual wisdom traditions around the world offer different perspectives on pain and suffering, each with its own explanation for why these experiences occur and how they should be approached or understood.
These diverse perspectives all share certain common threads: that the origins of pain and suffering lie in the concept of duality; that there is meaning to be found in suffering; and that through faith, reflection, and spiritual practice we can transcend the pain caused by duality and connect with something greater than ourselves.
Find Your Rainbow In Troubled Times
There are days when it seems like the storm winds and rain in your life will never stop. Those days when your mind is filled with shadows and your heart is heavy. When a grief or a broken heart seems like a never-ending wound.
But trust me. One day soon you will walk out into the sunshine and see another beautiful rainbow! You will look at the colors of a perfect rainbow after a destructive storm of heavy rains and gasping winds, and you will know that all is well.
The storm may sometimes seem never-ending, but we always find a rainbow of promise on the other side. Then you will see the majesty of the spectrum of colors and the great arc that delights the sky. And if you follow that wondrous curve carefully, you may even find the pot of gold at its end!
In that perfect moment, you will forget the sadness and despair you felt before. The heaviness in your heart will be gone and you will be reminded that nothing is lost forever. The rainbows of life will always bring new moments, a new day, a new beginning. This is Spirit’s promise to us.
Since the dawn of time, rainbows have captured the imagination and beliefs of people in different cultures as a divine symbol of hope, healing, protection and rebirth.