grief
Grieving The Loss Of Loved Ones With Grace
Few of us have not experienced the loss of a loved one, a parent, a partner or even a child. Most of us have also witnessed or experienced the many ways in which people try to cope with such an insurmountable loss.
Coping with the huge gaping hole that such a loss leaves in our lives can have a negative impact on people’s behaviour. Some turn to extremes: alcohol, drug abuse, overeating, prescription drugs, or any of the other things people use to numb their pain and deflect the overwhelming feelings associated with loss and grief.
What we ultimately learn is that there is no set time frame in which such profound pain can be dealt with. It can take weeks, months, years or even decades for some. But even when the worst is over, we never really get over the sense of loss. We simply learn to cope and get on with our lives, forever changed, as best we can.
However, the greatest tribute we can pay the loved ones we have lost is to grieve with grace and dignity. Abusing substances or indulging in other distractions may temporarily numb our pain, but how does that honour the memory of the one we professed to care so much about? It also does not allow us to confront and process our emotions in a healthy and constructive manner. Grieving is natural and necessary. When we try to avoid our grief, we miss out on opportunities for personal growth, self-reflection, and ultimately finding peace with the loss.
Why Some Souls Depart This Life Early
In over 15 years of doing spiritual readings, I’ve had to deal with some very difficult questions from clients who have suffered extreme loss or trauma.
One of the most heartbreaking, however, is making sense of the death of an infant, child, or young adult, sometimes after a cruel and very unpredictable death.
Grieving the death of a young person can bring up some of the most profound and challenging emotions. While it is never easy to address this kind of loss with grieving parents and relatives, Spirit has been consistent in its guidance over the years.
Although I have been spared the loss of someone so young in my own life, I am no stranger to it. I have supported many families in this regard over the years, both professionally and in my personal life.
The first time I realized how fragile life really is, was when I was only 12 years old. I was looking forward to the summer vacation from school. One of my classmates who lived down the street and her family had relatives visiting for the summer. Two of the visiting cousins were more or less our age, so I had a nice group of girl playmates for the season!
There was also the younger brother of the visiting cousins, who was only six years old. He was an adorable child with blond hair, bright blue eyes, and a freckled face full of mischief. He followed his two sisters, my girlfriend, and me wherever we went during those carefree days. I did not mind having him around and even encouraged the others to let him play hide-and-seek and many other childhood games with us.
A Christian Mystic’s Guide To Dealing With Pain
Our search for the meaning of pain, hardship, and suffering is a profound and enduring human endeavor.
Throughout history, our spiritual beliefs and religious teachings have helped us understand and find meaning in life’s challenges and painful experiences.
These interpretations provide comfort, guidance, and a sense of peace in the face of adversity as we learn that suffering has a purpose or can lead to spiritual growth, enlightenment, or a deeper connection with the divine.
Our spiritual quest to better understand pain is driven by a deep desire to make sense of life’s challenges and to discover how these difficult experiences fit into the larger tapestry of our existence.
Religions and spiritual wisdom traditions around the world offer different perspectives on pain and suffering, each with its own explanation for why these experiences occur and how they should be approached or understood.
These diverse perspectives all share certain common threads: that the origins of pain and suffering lie in the concept of duality; that there is meaning to be found in suffering; and that through faith, reflection, and spiritual practice we can transcend the pain caused by duality and connect with something greater than ourselves.
Making Peace With An End-Of-Life Decision For Your Pet
A few weeks ago I was faced with a very difficult decision. Although I have had to make this type of decision many times in my years of caring for pets, it never gets any easier. Not even knowing that it is in the best interest of the animal makes it any easier.
This time it was a very beloved rescue dog who, despite the neglect and abuse he had suffered for several years prior to his rescue, became the most loving pet I have ever had. Sadly, the time had come for him to leave this world…and for me to let him go.
Clients sometimes ask me if they will see their pets again on the other side when it’s their own time to cross over. From the messages and signs I’ve received from my own pets over the years, I not only believe this to be true, I know for a fact that we are reunited with the souls of our animals when we leave this earthly plane.
The bonds of loyalty and love that I have experienced throughout my life with my own pets, as well as other people’s animals in my care, have been profound. The loss of such a deep bond is always devastating for animal lovers. I know from both personal and professional experience that physical death can never break the bonds of love we have with our loved ones.
Find Your Rainbow In Troubled Times
There are days when it seems like the storm winds and rain in your life will never stop. Those days when your mind is filled with shadows and your heart is heavy. When a grief or a broken heart seems like a never-ending wound.
But trust me. One day soon you will walk out into the sunshine and see another beautiful rainbow! You will look at the colors of a perfect rainbow after a destructive storm of heavy rains and gasping winds, and you will know that all is well.
The storm may sometimes seem never-ending, but we always find a rainbow of promise on the other side. Then you will see the majesty of the spectrum of colors and the great arc that delights the sky. And if you follow that wondrous curve carefully, you may even find the pot of gold at its end!
In that perfect moment, you will forget the sadness and despair you felt before. The heaviness in your heart will be gone and you will be reminded that nothing is lost forever. The rainbows of life will always bring new moments, a new day, a new beginning. This is Spirit’s promise to us.
Since the dawn of time, rainbows have captured the imagination and beliefs of people in different cultures as a divine symbol of hope, healing, protection and rebirth.
Breaking The Pattern Of Relationship Trauma
Today I did two consecutive readings for clients who are obsessed with a relationship from a long time ago. They both wondered why the relationship ended and what could have been if things had gone differently.
In retrospect, there have been many similar calls recently. I have even had clients who have had vivid dreams and nightmares about a particular ex-love, lost friend or estranged family member.
In all cases, I find that Spirit consistently offers the same guidance. These haunted thoughts and obsessions are due to a lack of closure and unresolved trauma. Spirit has also indicated that there is a growing epidemic of loneliness in the world. Because of this, more and more people are dwelling on old relationships and their regrets.
This has even happened to me recently, with people from my past that I have not thought of or seen in years coming to mind more and more. It can be surprising and disconcerting to have such random memories pop up. Spirit gave me exactly the same wake-up call. These memories are a sign that there is a need for forgiveness and healing. It is essentially a form of delayed grief, when instead we should be having happy and fond memories of the people in our past.
I find it helps to remember that they, like me, were just doing the best they could with what they knew and had at the time. When someone has shown signs of unkindness or aggression, I have also come to realize that it was the result of their own hurts, losses, or disappointments.
Coping With The Loss Of A Loved One
Many people I know, including myself and several of my clients, have experienced the loss of a child or grandchild.
Losing a grandparent or parent is heartbreaking, but losing a child is absolutely devastating! It is difficult to understand why someone so young is taken before they had a chance to live a full life.
A few years ago, I found some solace for my continuing grief from a very unexpected source.
I am an avid Nascar fan. If you don’t know what Nascar is, it is the National Association for Stock Car Auto Racing. Stock car racing is one of the largest spectator sports in America.
A few years ago I watched an interview with one of the masters of this sport, Richard Petty, also known as “The King.” His words struck a deep chord with me.
Richard Petty’s grandson, Adam Petty, was also a racer like his grandfather. He was only 19 when he died in an accident on May 12, 2000 while practicing the sport he loved so much. His car hit the outside wall of the track, killing him instantly.
In the interview I watched, his grandfather spoke of his depression, guilt, grief, and not wanting to get out of bed because he felt he was somehow to blame for encouraging his grandson to pursue this sport that cost him his young life.