News and Views From The Psychic Access Community

trauma

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The Fallacy Of Future Happiness

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comOne of the most consistent messages that come through when I am doing readings for clients, is the effects of the stories we tell about life and our circumstances. This is the first in a series of two blogs discussing two types of stories that people often tell themselves that have the potential to promote self-sabotage related to nearly every area of life.

We are all storytellers by nature and every experience that we have as human beings is an interpretation of the world around us. We apply labels to the world around us and the circumstances we find ourselves in every day. One of the most damaging stories that we tell ourselves are the future stories of happiness.

Spirit will often give us insights into patterns in our own lives to avoid. A consistent pattern to avoid is the fallacy that something in the future will eventually cause happiness. Happiness simply does not work like that.

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How To Trust Your Spiritual Teacher

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comIf you have a spiritual teacher, how do you know you can trust her? Weren’t you told to trust yourself first? Wait, how do you know you can trust your therapist, or even your doctor? Especially with all the sexual assault cases coming to light these days, it is scary to think that someone who is supposed to be your protector, care-giver, or mentor will use that position to manipulate you into a situation that is abusive, sometime violently abusive. Thinking about this can be horrifying, but so is not thinking about it.

What about the idea ‘trust yourself’? The problem with just trusting yourself is that if you grew up in an alcoholic, drug-abusing, violent family, or in some of the more subtle dysfunctional family dynamics, such as having a narcissistic or wounded parent, your radar for self-care is damaged. You do not yet have the skills to discern what is healthy for you. Your brain and nervous system is literally wired for dysfunction as your default normal setting. This means you will choose the dysfunction you know, because it is all you know. You will seek out an alcoholic lover; or you will find jobs with narcissistic bosses, for example.

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The Spiritual Teacher As The Enemy

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comIn psychology, therapists are trained to handle what is known as transference behavior in some of their clients or patients. Spiritual healers, readers, and teachers generally do not have much knowledge or skill in this regard, which can be detrimental for both the practitioner and those who come to them for services.

What is transference? When people go to spiritual professionals, they are often hurt and in psychological, emotional or spiritual pain, which sometimes also manifests as physical pain. People mainly are ‘hurt’ by other people in their lives, with whom they have emotional connections. When emotional connections are damaged (real or imagined) people feel hurt, betrayed, abandoned or experience various other emotions. When seeking healing or guidance (in whatever modality) those feelings of hurt are often transferred to the healer, teacher or other ‘authority figures.’

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But We Have Such A Connection!

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comI hear this often from callers… how they have met someone whom they have such an amazing ‘connection’ with, and then they tell me they wouldn’t have otherwise given this particular person a chance. It could be this person is not their type, looks or otherwise; or the person treats them very badly; or the person is attached to someone else.

I often hear from my callers, who are experiencing negativity and toxicity from such a person, that they would have run the other way had it not been for that amazing ‘connection.’

I have also experienced such a circumstance in my own personal life. I met a man a few months after I moved to a different state. I wasn’t necessarily looking for a relationship at the time, I just decided to go out and have some fun socially. I met him a few days after registering on this online dating site.

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Calming The Stormy Waters Of The Inner Child

click photo for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comI walk on the beach daily, near my home. In fact, I often walk multiple times a day. This is my meditative and contemplative time, to reflect and see what areas in my life I can improve or change, what areas are working well, and what shifts are going on.

In the morning, the water can be as smooth as glass. This represents true peace, clarity and reflection. In the afternoon, the water can have three-foot to ten-foot waves, and the beach space that was so abundant in the morning, is gone. This represents the turmoil that is happening in my life and on our planet, or just what comes and goes in the daily news.

In the evening, the water settles down. It’s not quite as glass-like as in the morning, however it has a small and calming wave. This represents all the cleansing that happened during the day and the cleansing that is to happen through the night, bringing me full circle to another calm again in the morning.

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Being An Empath

click here to get a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comAn empath is a person who can psychically tune in to the emotional feelings of a person, place or animal. It is the extra-sensory ability to perceive the emotions and feelings of others. Clairempathy is described as a type of telepathy which enables one the to pick up on the attitude, emotion or ailment of another person.

Empaths will freak out sometimes, seemingly for no reason, then find out later that one of their family or friends had something traumatic happen to them. Empaths tend to be very aware of the health and state of mind of their loved ones. This can be difficult for an empathic person, especially if they have not yet realized their own abilities and strengths as an empath.

Empaths are generally very sensitive to others. It can be a challenge for the empath to function normally in life if they are unaware of their gift. It can cause them to be anxious and sometimes paranoid. This can seem strange to people who don’t understand the empathic powers and how they are used.

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Be Judgmental

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comIn this age of being politically correct, some might actually stop reading after seeing the title of this blog post. Please don’t. People these days might accept the terms discernment, or judgment call, but never judgment! But there is no problem with having a judgment. The issue is what you choose to do with that judgment (or judgment call, or discernment). What matters is how you respond to your inner voice judging what is happening. It matters a great deal.

If you have been raised to put others before yourself, you have been taught to not protect yourself, but rather to put the needs, wants and desires of others first. The false belief is that this is done in order to protect yourself, to survive. If you have not questioned your past, or worked on learning about, or healing, your childhood (which happened on purpose as part of your incarnation, and therefore is a key element of exploration for you to advance in soul evolution) you will not even know that putting others first is your default setting. It will simply be ‘normal’ for you, while you continue to wonder why certain patterns of you getting ‘slammed,’ or getting taken advantage of, keep happening.

You cannot heal what you do not know. Children of alcoholics, or addicts, or narcissists, or childhood trauma (war, earthquakes, divorce, death, poverty) often learn that they have to suppress who they are, what they want or need, even what they think, in order to become what someone else wanted them to be, in order to survive, in order to live. Continue reading

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