loss
Accepting The End Of A Relationship
Don’t resist change, even in love. It is always best to accept things when a relationship ends. Sometimes a door needs to be closed in order for another door to open down the road.
I have seen this in my own personal relationships and those of many of my clients and friends. If it’s meant to be and there is true, everlasting love between two souls, there can never be a permanent goodbye. Rest assured, if you are meant to be with your beloved, they will come back to you, or you will go back to them.
At some point we all experience the pain of saying goodbye to someone we love very much. Experiencing relationship break-up tends to turn our lives upside down. This is especially true when we have to close the door on someone we love very much when we don’t really want the relationship to end.
But if we do it in a way that leaves the door open for them to come back, then maybe we can have a new beginning later. We just have to do the very hard thing of saying goodbye and taking a step back for now. If we refuse to accept that a relationship is over, we only prolong the pain and dysfunction, and make it difficult to heal and grow from the issues that caused it to fail in the first place.
Instead, we should focus on ourselves and our own needs for a while. When we are in a relationship that is not working, it can be easy to neglect our own needs and issues. Accepting the end of a relationship allows us to focus on our own healing and well-being. No matter how hard we try to hold on, it will only make it more difficult to bring healing to the aspects of the relationship failure that need healing.
Friends For A Reason, A Season, Or A Lifetime
I recently reconnected with a family friend with whom I had a very close relationship about three decades ago. She was like a mother figure in some ways, even though she was only about 12 years older than me at the time.
She is a very caring and nurturing person and was always there for me when my own mother was physically or emotionally unable. Her door was always open and she always had many people around her. After working in retail for many years, she changed careers to become a full-time caregiver, which she loved. After she retired and her husband passed away, she continued to be very active and had a very vibrant social life.
But during the Covid-19 pandemic, like many people her age, she experienced intense isolation and trauma. We spoke frequently on the phone during this time, and she was very much looking forward to the restrictions finally being lifted.
However, when the worst was over and most restrictions were lifted, her group of friends remained afraid to go out. Some of them even developed agoraphobia, a type of anxiety disorder that causes people to experience extreme, irrational fear of public places and unpredictable situations that they imagine could cause them harm, panic, or helplessness.
My dear friend was deeply affected by this. Seeing all her friends again was one of the things that kept her strong and hopeful through the chaos of the pandemic. But now she felt she had lost her tribe (beyond her family, who all have busy, demanding lives of their own and live several hours away). Fortunately, she is a determined soul who will not easily accept defeat and apparently she is gradually getting more of the old gang together for their usual fun meet-ups!
The Dealbreakers And Dealmakers Of Dating
Dating has changed a lot in recent years, especially with the advent of social media and dating apps. But one thing that has not changed is that most people still want to meet someone special to share their lives with.
I had to venture back into the dating scene myself after my husband passed away several years ago. At first, I had absolutely no interest in meeting someone new, but after a long period of grieving, healing, and self-reflection, I finally realized that I did not want or need to be alone for the rest of my life.
I remember so many people giving me dating and relationship advice after I became a widow. They particularly advised me not to remarry, especially at my age. “Trust me, you don’t need the headaches and drama,” they all said. “You’ll never find someone as good as him,” one predicted. “It’s a toxic war zone out there,” lamented another. Relatives, friends, and even neighbors all had something negative or skeptical to say.
While I appreciated everyone’s concern and well-meant intentions at the time, I decided to stay true to myself and trust my inner guidance. You see, I already knew something they did not.
Spirit revealed to me toward the end of my grieving period that I would eventually meet someone new, but that I would have to take the necessary steps to make it happen. My future partner was not going to miraculously show up at my door. I had to put myself out there to meet him.
Healing A Broken Heart
One of the hardest things that we will ever have to do is recover from a broken heart after a relationship break-up. We don’t want to be without the person we love; it hurts to say their name, or to think about them. And sometimes it is hard to even breathe.
When a relationship fails we need to grieve and heal. This is a time to be around people who care about us. The worst thing that we can do is to harden our hearts and build a wall that no one can touch. All that this will do is stop us from growing and learning more about ourselves – to know who we are and learning how to love ourselves again.
We are not to give up on future relationships, because that will not serve us in the long run. We need to be able to feel again, but it takes time. Everyone has to go through their own grieving process because no one really knows just how much you are really hurting. With time you will get there.
So many times we think that the love that we have found is real and everlasting, but true love does not lie, or cheat, or make you feel unwanted. True love makes us feel secure, not insecure.
Sure, we have to work at a good relationship, but when it becomes too much of a tug-and-pull, we have to listen to our gut feelings. Trust your inner guidance and hear what spirit is trying to tell you.
I do not think anything hurts more than being disappointed by the person that you thought would never hurt you. When you are ready to start again, make the decision that you are going to move on, that its time.
How To Truly Honor Our Departed Loved Ones
I attended a service recently at the local spiritualist centre that I found particularly meaningful. One of the spirit messages channeled by a visiting medium was for a recently bereaved man in the congregation. The grieving gentleman had been dealing with many mixed emotions since the passing of his spouse.
At first the medium provided the man with undeniable evidence that it was indeed his late wife who was making contact. She relayed several factual details and personal memories that only the man and his wife could possibly know of. This was especially evident from the amazed expression on his face in reaction to everything the medium was saying.
The deceased wife then admitted to being somewhat of a ‘firecracker’ during their 50-year marriage. She further confessed that towards the end of her life she had become especially difficult to deal with and said many hurtful things to him. She acknowledged that despite her unkind behavior he consistently remained patient with her and thanked him for his kindness and forbearance.
The man then confirmed that his late wife had suffered a series of mini-strokes that altered her mental state. She had also been prescribed medication that further affected her mood and behavior in a negative way. The wife then asked for his forgiveness and encouraged him to stop focusing so much on the negative memories of their final months together.
“She is asking you to please think more often of your special moments together,” said the medium.
Are You Ready For The Unexpected?
It has been quite the saga with the dishwasher in my apartment! It has not worked properly for over a year now. The maintenance crew here at the apartment complex has been able to keep it going, but it keeps flooding and breaking down. They have however grown somewhat weary with the ongoing dish drama, but I still manage to gain some sympathy for my struggles.
The last time they came by to repair the temperamental kitchen appliance, it took three weeks for them to show up after I put in the maintenance request. They took me by surprise, but I am not sure who was startled more – me or them. You see, I sometimes like to work in my pajamas, and therefore I was not at all prepared for their visit! Fortunately, I was able to retreat to my home office and merely close the door.
It got me thinking about our everyday readiness to embrace the unexpected in life. As spirit beings we signed up for human adventure riddled with many twists and turns, as well as some adversity and unforeseen surprises. The only way to safely and successfully navigate all these ups and downs is to be guided by the higher self with the support of spirit.
When we raise our vibration through spiritual practice and a conscious lifestyle, we build a foundational state of readiness that empowers us to calmly expect the unexpected, and to always be prepared for anything.
I think of it as ‘Father Readiness.’ In The Bible, Matthew 24 states that “no one knows the day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.”
Spirit Meets Us In The Middle
About three decades ago, a friend’s father passed away. I had only met him once, and very briefly. Several months after his passing, he came to me in dream with an important message for my friend. I asked, why me? He explained that I was the only person in her life that he could reach.
Her father’s telepathic communication was, however, coming in so fast and symbolically complex that I could not keep up with what he was saying. This is the nature of this world. The energy density here is so heavy and slow, while spirit energy is light, quick, and highly advanced.
To assist me with my understanding, and also help me remember his message later, he showed me in the dream how he was ‘recording it as voicemail message.’ This enabled my mind to slow the message down. I was able to replay it slowly at my level of human understanding.
I later relayed the ‘decoded’ message to my friend. He wanted her to know that he was aware that she had been suffering much grief after his passing, but that he wished for her to move on. “I am still with you and still love you, but it is time for you to start living your life to the fullest again,” he said.
She was very grateful and relieved to receive his message. She cried and it clearly touched her. She then told me that she had attended a grief support group that same night I had the visitation dream. She had decided to give it a try, as she was struggling to process her loss and did not know how to move forward.