loss
Are You Stuck In Victim Mode?
We all have had at least one very bad experience in our lives: a twist of fate, a major setback, an intense trauma, a tragic loss. In these moments of extreme adversity, we are usually victims of circumstances beyond our control.
But these challenging life events typically serve a higher purpose. Everything happens for a reason. It is therefore vital that we gather whatever hard-earned wisdom, personal growth or self-empowerment we possibly can from such experiences. If we do not, our suffering would have been in vain.
We can only accomplish this if we get up, dust ourselves off, find resilience within, and courageously begin to move forward.
Sadly, some people tend to become stuck in victim mode long after these experiences. This obviously does not promote their personal growth and well-being, nor does it improve or change their life for better. On the contrary, as long as we remain trapped in a victim mentality, the negative life experience will have served no purpose and the hardship we suffered will have been in vain.
All the challenges, lessons and trials in our life are invitations and opportunities for us to grow and expand. This is true transformation. Easy lives are meaningless lives.
Now, we are sometimes allowed to complain and say ‘life sucks,’ because from at times we also get caught up in the learning and transformation processes of other people. However, we are also allowed to consciously reject that. We are not required to take on the lessons of others.
How To Truly Let Them Go
When a relationship ends, we may find it very difficult to let go of the other person, especially when they have been the one who chose to leave. Friends and clients have often asked me this question. How do I forget him? How do I stop thinking about her? I have asked myself this a few times in my own life too.
My psychic observation has been that consciously trying to forget someone for whom we have strong feelings of love and affection will only serve to make it worse. ‘Forgetting’ someone we love is unnatural and goes against our grain. It only creates resistance that further increases tension and intensifies our pain.
So, it is usually better, but not easier, to channel or process our feelings of love and affection for another soul, in a more constructive, liberating way. This includes honoring the freedom of every soul’s path in relationship with God, Source, Spirit, the Divine.
It is essential to let our feelings flow, because emotions are energy in motion (e-motion). The energy will move through and in time lessen, like storm clouds passing through the sky, until the sun is visible to the eyes again.
Keeping the heart open is an important part of this process. The vision God gives me to describe this is of being in your home, going about your own life within it, with all your attention focused on the activities, surroundings, and experiences of the moment, and simply being present with what you have and what is, while the front door remains open in the background.
Never Allow Regret To Hold You Back
Recently, I attended a celebration of life gathering held in memory of a friend who died under tragic circumstances. He was an incredible energy healer, and also exquisitely crafted Native American flutes and drums. We had been friends for decades, but over the years we saw less and less of each other. The relationship between us was, however, a matter of ‘out of sight, out of mind.’
Our individual schedules were such that life eventually got in the way. There was however an unmistakable mutual respect and heart-centered connection between us facilitated by Spirit whenever we did meet. We would offer each other guidance, support, and fresh perspectives in those special moments.
My friend and his wife met about two decades ago at a spiritual event and eventually became an incredible spiritual team. Before they met, I remember his future wife asking me to swap readings with her.
“Sure, why not?” I said, although I was actually quite nervous and still new to doing readings on a ‘professional basis.’
When I read for her, the information that came through included various confirmations regarding her spiritual work, including her music, becoming an author, teaching, and her increased spirit connection. Last, but not least, there was also the indication of a potential romantic relationship, including a timeframe for approximately when this might unfold. Soon after, the two of them met. Over the years, it was great to see their relationship blossom and thrive. They truly became partners in life, love, and business.
Communicating With Your Pets In The Spirit Realm
It is known among my friends and clients that have had certain very challenging life experiences, including former struggles with addiction and sobriety. But I can honestly say, the most painful was a traumatic event just a few years ago, when on a walk along a familiar path two of my dogs chased a hare and were never seen again.
My husband and I did everything in our power to locate them and used every possible way to get the message out that they had gone missing. We even offered a substantial reward for whoever could help us find them. We put up posters in a 50-mile radius and walked day in and day out talking to everyone who cared to listen. My husband even purchased an electric mountain bike to get to areas we might not otherwise have been able to access.
The kindness we found in our community was overwhelming and there were endless phone calls and concerned friends and neighbors doing searches because they wanted to help. Nobody seemed to care much about the potential reward; everyone just wanted to help. Out of all of the leads we received, there were only two scam calls from individuals who were only after the reward, but I was quickly able to suss them out on the phone.
Our dogs’ names were Amber and Brutus. Two days after their disappearance, and still having hope of them coming home, I felt Amber communicate with me. “This was meant to happen,” she said. The telepathic message was vivid but didn’t help in terms of knowing if they were still alive.
Last week, I asked for a sign from the dogs. Looking at their pet booklets, there would be a good chance that, even if Amber had survived, she may have passed in the meantime due to old age.
Unconditional Love From The Rainbow Bridge
Sometimes pet owners connect with the souls of their animals on a very deep level. We love them so much that when they finally depart from this life the grief and sadness can be just as agonizing as losing a human loved one. This was the case recently for me when we lost our beloved family cat.
I had to finally make the difficult decision to release him from his pain and suffering. And thus our ‘little black panther,’ as we call him, departed this world to cross the Rainbow Bridge.
He had been suffering with a malignant tumor under his tongue. Bone cancer we were told. Earlier this year, I knew there was something more going on after a dental appointment to have an infected tooth removed. His little chin continued to swell up and the antibiotics were not working.
We did all we could. We made sure he had the best, soft food, and lots of love. The faucet in the tub was left slightly open to drip, so he could have water from his favorite place to get it fresh and cold.
On the day he was to be euthanized, the Moon was in Capricorn. A Capricorn Moon is a time of seriousness, when duty calls. It is a lunar influence that requires us to make difficult, yet responsible decisions, and to remain steadfast and determined in doing what we know is best and necessary.
Our little black panther seemed carefree and at peace. He had been lying next to me all night on a nearby bookshelf. It was a very sunny day and the breeze felt nice to him as he sat up and looked out the open window. He was free of pain, as we had been giving him medication to make him more comfortable.
Two of his brothers took turns sitting next to him. We took our time to say our final goodbyes. We also prayed and even put some holy water on him. Did everything we could. Cried lots of tears. It was very difficult. So awfully hard.
Then the time came for us to take our boy in to the clinic. He sensed it was time and seemed relieved. Even his brother, who was born in the same batch of kittens a minute before him, seemed to understand it was time, as snuck out the door hoping to come with us. We had to unlock the door and put him back inside. I telepathically explained to him that this brother loves him and so do we, but he could not go with us…we would be back shortly.
How To Make Gratitude A Way Of Life
Life has certainly not been easy for me recently. First and foremost, my iPhone, email account, bank account and credit card had all been hacked by some very clever cyber-criminal. Soon after, my brother went into hospital for the second time. I was feeling rather sorry for myself until one day, after visiting my brother in the hospital, I was delayed while driving home. I had to stop at a junction to allow oncoming traffic to pass. A hearse was passing by on the other side of the road.
“God bless the deceased and their loved ones,” I softly prayed.
As the funeral procession moved closer, I noticed that the flower wreath beside the coffin had a ribbon with the words: Beloved Daughter. In a flash, all my own problems seemed to evaporate, as I thought of the bereaved parents of the deceased. Here I was, complaining that I could not access my email account, while other people were grieving the passing of a loved one. Although it was a brief, random experience, it made me take a step back and take an honest look at my life. It caused me to reflect upon the many blessings in my life and, apart from my brother’s current health condition, the ongoing well-being of the rest of my family.
The hearse experience was highly synchronistic and definitely a sign from spirit. The Universe no doubt had an uncanny hand in ochestrating this occurence, as it mimicked an similar experience I had almost 20 years ago! Back then, my son had been born three months prematurely and suffered a minor brain hemorrhage as a result. Statistically, the doctors told me, the odds were fortunately in favor of him surviving such a premature birth. Still, the four months that he was in hospital were probably the most harrowing of my life!
Letting Go Heals Our Silent Pain
Too often we are not aware of the emotional pain in others. We are blissfully ignorant of the invisible pain that they are suffering. This is the secret pain of grief, of tragedy and loss. It is often the silent pain that many of us carry inside, a pain we secretly endure every day.
Our grief and sorrow is something we hide from the world, because we tend to feel ashamed, embarrassed or guilty for not being ‘stronger.’ The fast-paced modern world we live in has little patience with those who need time to mourn and heal. Life goes on, they say.
Those who are grieving must get through their pain as best they can, often without having anyone to talk to or no one wo cares to understand. They must simply put on a happy face and get through the day.
Sometimes people are having a hard time processing a loss or disappointment because they do not want to let go. Why would anyone choose to hold on to the pain, you may ask? Well, there is sometimes a strange comfort found in a state of holding on. When our world feels upside down and the future seems uncertain, we tend to hold on to the familiarity of the past, of the life we once knew.
The energy of such an ongoing state of silent pain soon becomes an imbalance in the throat chakra and blocks our ability to heal. The throat chakra plays a very big part, because it is our energy center of truth, the seat of our power to communicate our free will and talk about our true feelings.
Suppressed mental and emotional pain in time manifests itself in our body in many debilitating ways, such as migraine headaches, stomach aches, physical discomfort and a variety of other symptoms and potential health problems. Only when the pain is addressed and processed, will it go away and will our well-being improve.