self-help
Stop Surviving And Start Living
The past three years, I have heard many people say they’re living in ‘survival mode.’ For some it has been about health and personal safety, for others it was isolation and loneliness, or bereavement and grief, or loss of employment and financial security.
It has certainly been an unprecedented, challenging time for our generation. And at times it has indeed been an actual fight for survival, which many tragically did not survive. Many families are still grieving the loss of their loved ones.
Sadly, for some it has also been a time of fearing many things that never happened. It has also been a time that revealed how some folks may be in need of a major ‘privilege check.’ For example, I personally know people who were excessively anxious during the quarantine lockdowns because they were eating too much and gaining weight, or were upset because they could not go to the salon or spa, while there are people in the world who were not even able to feed their families, or worse, had nowhere safe to take shelter.
The global pandemic has indeed been a unique opportunity to reflect on our beliefs, values, and what truly matters to us. Not everyone made the most of this prospect. It seems for some it is still difficult to move beyond the self-defeating mindset of ‘it’s a struggle to survive.’
Yes, life is sometimes definitely hard for all of us. The past three years proved that once again on a global scale. Life can throw major curve balls our way and we all handle things through our personal lens on the world. Some of us are more resilient than others; and some of us more privileged than others. Being in ‘survival mode’ is therefore relative to the individual.
The Ancient Art Of Meditation In Motion
I recently attended a Tai Chi class for the first time and absolutely loved it. I have seen this ancient martial art being practiced on television and in films before, and always thought I would like to experience it myself someday.
Tai Chi is an ancient Chinese tradition involving slow movements and breathwork that is essentially meditation in graceful motion. At this recent event, I enjoyed it so much that I intend to continue pursuing this practice.
Our instructor at the event also explained the many health benefits of practicing Tai Chi, which further fueled my interest. This may include reduced stress, improved mood, mental health and cognitive function, enhanced immune function, increased cariovascular health, better sleep patterns, and even reduced risk of falling in mature adults.
One of the key advantages of Tai Chi is that it has no age limit. In fact, I was surprised at the various age groups in attendance that day. It is certainly a wonderful mind, body, and soul pursuit for everyone, because it is a gentle and slow-paced ‘internal’ martial art that does not involve any competition.
The exact history and origins of Tai Chi is unclear. Some scholars believe it originated from ancient Taoist and Buddhist monasteries, while others contend that Tai chi is a purely Chinese art that originates from the spiritual wisdom traditions of Daoism and Confucianism. There are many styles of Tai Chi that differ in execution and training methods.
How To Start Living The Life Of Your Dreams
When I was 21 years old, I had many dreams and ideals, but not much direction in life. At the time I remember feeling very motivated listening to the song Hold On Tight To Your Dreams by The Electric Light Orchestra. To this day, it still inspires me.
What life has however taught me since those starry-eyed days is that holding onto our dreams is indeed very important, but what is more crucial is taking the necessary action to make it happen. Spirit has shown me that the only way to truly manifest the life of our dreams is to go for it with everything we have: mind, body and soul. To actualize our dreams sooner rather than later, we must approach it with a determined, proactive combination of spirituality and practicality.
Find Your Faith
The first and most important step is to rally the support of spirit. Attempting to achieve our goals without the inspiration, protection and guidance of God, Source, Spirit, the Divine, is an arduous, and often treacherous undertaking. Only fools rush in where angels fear to tread.
Manifesting our dreams in ways we never before deemed possible requires spiritual alignment with our higher self, as well as faith in our ability as children of the Universe to create our best life. Holding on to big dreams without believing in a higher power or something greater than ourselves is a meaningless exercise and a mission impossible.
Healing From A Relationship Break-Up
Breaking up with someone can be one of the most difficult experiences in life, especially when it is a long and deeply meaningful relationship. It can feel impossible to see any future without that person and very difficult to move on and find joy in life again.
I find many of my clients do not realize that dealing with a break-up or divorce is very similar to processing the bereavement and grief associated with the passing of a loved one. It is often accompanied by agonizing sorrow, intense feelings of despair, and an all-encompassing sense of loss and confusion.
According to clinical psychologist Dr. Tricia Wolanin it is actually “the death of a relationship, hopes and dreams for the future. The person we are losing was a big part of our world and therefore has taken up so much of our mental and heart space.”
It is however possible to recover, heal and move on after any breakup or divorce. In my work I have found the following strategies to be helpful for clients who go through this kind of life challenge.
Avoid Major Life Decisions
It is usually not a good idea to make any important life decisions if you are working through the aftermath of a breakup. This includes changing your job or career, relocating, or making other drastic changes to your life. It is vital to take some time to heal and reflect on the situation before making hasty life-changing decisions that you may later live to regret.
The Empowering Symbolism Of The World Card
The World card in the Tarot remains one of my firm favorites. I am all for personal and spiritual growth, the completion of cycles, and new beginnings. The World represents exactly that: the ending of a cycle and pause in life, before the next major cycle begins with the fool.
The journey from the new beginnings of The Fool to the fulfilling endings of The World is a constant evolutionary process in our everyday lives that is represented by the sequence of the 22 Major Arcana cards of the Tarot. The World is the 22nd trump and therefore final card of the Major Arcana.
I have reflected on the imagery of the Rider-Waite version of this Tarot card in great detail. Rider-Waite is probably the most popular and universally recognized Tarot deck. The illustrations by Pamela Colman Smith at first glance appear simple, but the details and backgrounds feature abundant mystical symbolism.
The World pictures an empowered figure within a wreath – traditionally a symbol of victory, success, achievement, and eternal life. The figure holds a wand in each hand, which is reminiscent of the Magician card and the Two of Wands. However, while The Magician holds only one wand, the two wands in the The World card represents fulfillment, wholeness, balance and coming full circle.
The card is framed by four animals on the diagonal. The depiction of these four creatures parallels the four animal symbols used in Christian art to represent the four Evangelists, namely Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. The four animals also represent the zodiac signs of Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, and Aquarius, the four fixed signs in Western Astrology, which in turn represent the classical four elements of Earth, Fire, Water and Air.
We Should Be More Like The Turtle
Most people seldom give themselves permission to take a breather and just relax. As a hypnotherapist, I often see clients for stress relief sessions. In this case, they usually feel it is more justified for them to take some time out, because they are paying for a form of professional healthcare. After all, they made an appointment for the session and their doctor referred them. So, it must be okay.
Many people cannot even relax on a vacation! They feel they absolutely must do all the tourist things, even if they are tired, or the money they spent of the trip will be wasted. Or they feel compelled to spring clean the hotel room, instead of lying on the beach. Only to feel they need a second vacation to recover from the first vacation once they return home.
In the good old days, folks used to simply take a ‘joy ride’ somewhere with no real purpose or destination in mind. They did it purely for the enjoyment and the adventure. It was a standing joke in my family that if you chose to get in a car with my dad, you had better have the entire day off, because you never knew where you would wind up or what time you would get back home.
My kids still reminisce about our family taking a ride during the holidays to see all the Christmas lights and decorated homes. We used to stop for hot chocolate with marshmallows and everyone received a homemade cinnamon candy cane. It was the tradition.
Today, we live in such a busy, fast-paced world in which we feel guilty for taking time to take care of ourselves. But what is more important: the journey or destination? We all need to rest and restore our body, mind, and spirit on a regular basis. Neglecting one’s self-care is a prescription for poor long-term health, and making bad life choices.
We Need To Reopen Our Hearts
If, like me, you are highly sensitive to energies, I am sure you have noticed the alarming increase in anger, hatred, callousness, and cruelty in our society in recent times. It seems many people’s hearts have hardened. In my view, this is due to a post-pandemic heart chakra problem in our culture.
For example, one issue I have been finding more of in post-pandemic readings is an inability for many of my callers to remain ‘in the flow’ with their romantic partners. Some of my clients are either overly focused on, and extremely loyal to a partner who clearly doesn’t deserve it, or they are too rigid in keeping their distance and even avoiding contact. I have also been noticing more of this with people’s friendships and interactions with their relatives.
Of course, we must set healthy boundaries in all our relationships for the sake of our own well-being. Without proper boundaries we will become too exhausted and energetically drained to be of any use to others. By taking good care of ourselves, we also take better care of others and will have more to give.
But there’s a difference between healthy boundaries and ‘excommunicating’ just about everyone across-the-board. ‘Blocking,’ ‘banning,’ and ‘ghosting’ every person who dares to express a different point of view on social media, and disowning every person in your life who has the nerve to do or say the slightest thing that may annoy you, is not exactly setting healthy boundaries. It is rather a sign of having very weak, fickle boundaries. If this has become your way of being in the world, then you may want to consider doing some heart chakra energy work.