self-help
Moving On After A Relationship Breakup
I sometimes have clients who are struggling to move past a recent break-up, or they want to know if they will get back together with an ex. Focusing on the past, by wanting to go back to a happier time, or a relationship that left us sad when it ended, prevents us from living fully in the present. And this may be blocking your path to true happiness.
On the flip side, sometimes the universe will block your forward movement, because you are not truly ready for it. If you need to go through a period of grieving the past, do so in the healthiest way by looking towards the future.
The next chapter for you will be richer if you focus on the path ahead, be it with your ex in a new realm, or someone new. Just know the energy that you give out when you are stuck in the past does not welcome new relationships into your life – at least not healthy ones.
No one wants to go through the pain, sadness or loneliness of a breakup. In my mid-20’s I ended a very serious five year relationship. He had already bought the ring. I knew we were close to making a bigger commitment, but he had broken my trust many times in the relationship.
So, as I looked towards a future with him, I knew I no longer wanted to continue. The relationship ended abruptly and all contact with him was severed, like a death. As I look back I realize it had to end this way, as the relationship was only going in one direction, and I no longer wanted it, even though I still deeply cared for him.
Reclaiming Your Power When A Relationship Ends
One of the main reasons it is so painful to release someone when a relationship ends, is because we have usually invested so much of our time and energy in our connection with that person. In essence, what we are truly missing when we mourn a relationship are parts of our self that we have given away. What we are mourning is the loss of our hopes and dreams, not merely the presence of the person who is no longer in our life.
If this is something you are currently struggling with, I recommend the following ritual designed to help you reclaim your power after a relationship break-up, so that you can restore your inner wholeness and resume your search for true and enduring love.
Supplies
- 3 votive candles: 1 blue, 1 green, 1 yellow
- 1 aqua marine or clear quartz crystal
- rain or sage incense wand
- small mirror
- 3 copper pennies
- 2 tbsp of fresh or dried mint in a small bowl
- 2 tbsp sea salt
The Past Can Prevent Your Future
Why am I stuck? Why am I not advancing? Why can’t I find love? Why is money never coming to me and always flowing out from me? These are questions I struggled with for a long time in my own life.
I delved deep into many aspects of life design, manifesting change, the Law of Attraction, deliberate creating, and personal growth and reinvention. I have watched, listened and been active in more workshops, online webinars and online learning in this genre than most will ever do in a lifetime. I have read the books and taken many notes. I have made the visions boards and spoken the affirmations. But no matter where I turned, I was always confronted with actual reality versus trying to ‘positive think and believe’ something else. How can we believe we are destined to be something different or better simply by speaking it…or visualizing it? The truth is, it isn’t that simple.
In my search for answers I have also watched others who have participated in the forums, seminars and workshops, and actually achieved something significant in their life. And it has been my observation that the people who have truly risen above their circumstances and achieved their dreams, are the ones that did the deeper inner work.
Sometimes The Solution Is Right Before Us
A client recently asked me why ‘bad things’ keep happening in her life. Why does everything seem so hopeless and nothing is fun anymore? She is constantly in pain and there is really no more joy in her life.
The first thing Spirit showed me was a vision of myself when I was in pain, then a flash of me doing Yoga and how I was no longer in pain. For me the key is to not second guess, just to share whatever I get immediately. So, I simply told this women she must start doing Yoga. “Oh my gosh, she said, “I gave up Yoga some time ago and then the pain came back. I never thought of that!”
We have to be proactive and create positive steps in creating positive outcomes. It is simply the Law of Cause and Effect. We get pain relief from doing things that make us feel good and things that are good for us. Spirit says, “If we do nothing to fix something, nothing will get fixed.”
Sometimes in life we are so busy with the drama and chaos that we can’t think with clarity, in order to see what we need to do. Sometimes the solution is right before us, but we don’t realize it, because we are overlooking it. My client said she felt like a blindfold was lifted . Apparently she sees her old Yoga mat in her closet every day, but chose to overlook it. “Not anymore,” she laughed.
What Your Face May Reveal
The art of palmistry divines the hidden meanings in the shapes and patterns of our hands. But did you know that reading the face is also a psychic art? From ancient times face reading, or physiognomy, has been used as a method of divination to gain insight into personality, individual gifts, and personal relationships.
The face, like the hands, can be read in multiple ways. For someone just beginning, start with the basics. The left side represents the person’s basic temperament (outward) where the right side reveals the emotions (inward). If we divide the face into thirds, the top third is the past and childhood, the middle third is the present, and the bottom third the future, as well as hidden motives. The part of the face which appears most prominent will usually indicate where the person’s thoughts linger the most.
Three basic face shapes (round, square, and oval) are strong indicators of a core personality. Round faces reflect a person who is outgoing and artistic, but may be unreliable. Those with square faces are often strong-willed and confident, but may struggle with anger and frustration. And oval faces tend to belong to those who are intelligent and optimistic if a little unfocused.
Dare To Find Your Way Again!
Why should there be a yellow brick road? The answer is simple: everyone should have a personal path to Oz.
In the classic movie, The Wizard of Oz, after losing her way home, Dorothy was advised to follow the yellow brick road. Along the way, she was given a pair of beautiful ruby slippers. She was also cautioned not to remove these special shoes and not to lose sight of the yellow brick road.
There were times when Dorothy threw caution to the wind and walked away from the path. I recall watching scenes from the movie and holding tightly to the edge of my chair in anticipation of the perils faced by Dorothy. There was the Wicked Witch of the West and her army of dutiful, misguided monkeys. There were wind storms and spells in which day was cast into night. There was even a cranky old man who pretended to be the omnificent power of the Universe.
Much like Dorothy, each of us has faced difficult times in our lives when we have found ourselves without direction and far from home. Some of us have even forgotten where home was, while some never want to return. But within the metaphysical context, home is akin to the center within each of us that is the dwelling place of the soul, which links us to our life purpose and mission.
Checking In With Yourself
In today’s hustle-and-bustle, busy world there is sometimes the need to slow down and take break. Take a moment to say hello to yourself. Do a check in. Catch up with you. As a wise man once told me, “You must start by starting!” Quite so, because it makes things much more confusing if we think about it too much.
The best time to begin your day is the previous night, when you go to bed. What’s your current practice before going to sleep? Have you gotten your clothes ready for the next day? That is a handy practice that many people do. Have you gotten your soul ready as well? That is truly where to begin.
Saying hello to your soul is a powerful healing tool. Doing it consistently, just like having coffee or tea in the morning, brings you closer to yourself and takes you to a higher perspective. By you treating yourself kindly, it spreads outward. As you heal yourself, so shall you heal others.