self-help
Are You Stuck In Victim Mode?
We all have had at least one very bad experience in our lives: a twist of fate, a major setback, an intense trauma, a tragic loss. In these moments of extreme adversity, we are usually victims of circumstances beyond our control.
But these challenging life events typically serve a higher purpose. Everything happens for a reason. It is therefore vital that we gather whatever hard-earned wisdom, personal growth or self-empowerment we possibly can from such experiences. If we do not, our suffering would have been in vain.
We can only accomplish this if we get up, dust ourselves off, find resilience within, and courageously begin to move forward.
Sadly, some people tend to become stuck in victim mode long after these experiences. This obviously does not promote their personal growth and well-being, nor does it improve or change their life for better. On the contrary, as long as we remain trapped in a victim mentality, the negative life experience will have served no purpose and the hardship we suffered will have been in vain.
All the challenges, lessons and trials in our life are invitations and opportunities for us to grow and expand. This is true transformation. Easy lives are meaningless lives.
Now, we are sometimes allowed to complain and say ‘life sucks,’ because from at times we also get caught up in the learning and transformation processes of other people. However, we are also allowed to consciously reject that. We are not required to take on the lessons of others.
Being Your Strongest, Most Authentic Self
Many people tend to think that being vulnerable and open is a bad thing, because it makes them vulnerable to getting hurt in life and especially in relationships.
When someone disappoints or hurts us, whether deliberately or inadvertently, it is usually because they have deep wounds of their own that stems from their past, especially for their childhood. These unresolved traumas are often dormant and unconscious.
One might feel this is still no excuse to treat others poorly, or that they should know better. However, because these people typically have not done much inner work or self-healing to really know how to be in loving, happy, and functional relationships. I’m not condoning their bad behavior, but if they actually do not know any better, then how can one expect it from them?
I find people who are stuck in such patterns of hurting others are usually very much defensive and in denial. If you gently suggest what you may need from them, or bring up an aspect that the two of you could work on together to improve the relationship, they tend to instantly throw what you say back in your face and make it all about you. Suddenly, all of it is your fault.
This defensive behavior is a clear signal that this person has a lot of hurt, and is either fearful or unable to work through it. Therefore, if you bring up something that triggers their pain, they immediately see it as a threat. They feel attacked, or that they are being made a scapegoat.
The Healing Power Of Tree Hugging
Trees and plants are the most powerful energy conduits on the planet, next to the various bodies of water, such as the ocean, lakes, rivers, ponds, and so on.
It is no coincidence that many of the powerful energy vortex locations on the planet are typically surrounded by forests and abundant vegetation, such as Stonehenge in Wiltshire, England; Es Vedrà on the Spanish island of Ibiza; Mount Shasta in Siskiyou County, California; Machu Picchu in southern Peru; and the Mayan ruins in Tulum, Mexico. All these spiritual power spots feature either natural or man-made rock formations with a unique structure or design that draws energy from the surrounding vegetation, especially the trees.
Did you know that without trees humanity would not survive? Without trees to filter and replenish our air with oxygen, we would not be able to breathe without wearing gas masks. Trees are a vital link in the carbon cycle – a process in which carbon dioxide is constantly circulating through the atmosphere into organisms and back again.
Carbon is the second most valuable element to life, after water. Trees absorb carbon from the atmosphere and turns it into energy. The carbon is then either transformed into oxygen and released into the air we breathe, or stored inside the tree until it decomposes into the earth.
Without trees we will also starve, as there will no longer be nutrient-rich soil for us to grow food, and there will be chronic droughts. Planet Earth will in time become an arid wasteland. There will be no food to eat and very little fresh water to drink. Trees are essential to the energy of life.
Seasonal Crystals To Prepare For The Spring
The second half of the winter season, after the solstice, is an ideal time to establish new patterns and laying the groundwork for the coming spring and summer. Now is the ideal time to start adopting healthier lifestyle habits and plant spiritual seeds that will bloom in the months ahead.
Crystal that pairs well with this kind of winter energy work is clear, transparent quartz. It is a metaphysical staple for many practitioners, regardless the time of year, as it facilitates mental and emotional clarity and helps clear out negative energies. However, like a pristine winter pool of icy water, it also does not tolerate shadows and secrets.
Another winter-friendly crystal is selenite, which resembles an opaque spike of white ice. It acts as a cleanser, sweeping away the painful memories of the past and embracing the transition into a new year. Selenite is also closely associated with guardian angels and spirit guides, so it helps us to tap into their guiding wisdom more clearly.
Warmer, more fiery crystals can also help us generate some sparks and bring new heat to even the coldest, most hibernated of intentions. Citrine, with its inviting citrus hues attracts good luck and prosperity to the bearer. This crystal helps us stick to our goals and fulfill our greater purpose.
If you are wanting to increase your creativity and productivity this year, try fiery carnelian, with its sweltering deep orange and red-brown overtures. Its leading energy associations are inspiration, determination, and tenacity. Also, red or fuchsia garnet (appropriately also the birthstone for January) increases motivation and allows us to manifest our goals and aspirations.
Always Regain Your Karmic Composure
When we lose our composure and get very upset or angry, it is never a dealbreaker for spirit. It is only if we completely give up and do not learn from our transgressions that our guides, angels and loved ones in spirit may raise a ‘disapproving brow.’
If we lost your cool or stepped out of line, the key is to seek out the next right thing to do make amends for our messy indiscretions. Maybe it’s picking up a lost piece of mail in the post office parking lot and placing that into the delivery bin, so that it will find its destination. Or maybe it’s feeding the homeless person who is always sitting outside your local store. Or listening with an empathetic ear to a distant relative who has suffered a lot in their life recently.
Even doing an anonymous prayer or sending healing to someone will always be welcome. Whatever your clearance path is, be sure to untie those etheric karmic cords of your recent negative emotional responses and unkind actions, and make things right!
As a spiritually aware person, I will be the first to admit that I too have my ‘moments.’ If one is still dealing with unhealed trauma, shadow work and the clearing certain energy blockages, it is inevitable that frustration, irritation and anger can happen.
Every day, when I do my Epsom salt baths, I make the best attempt I can to clear such emotional energies, but it remains a work in progress. In fact, it seems like the process will never end.
Unwrap The Gift Of Your True Self
As you step into the new year, consider giving yourself the gift of your true self and start living your best life. Your authentic self is a one-of-a-kind, priceless jewel that is unlike anyone or anything else in the entire universe.
Just as one would unwrap a gift to celebrate a special occasion, we can gently unwrap the layers of our original soul self. While our superficial ego layers may act as a cocoon providing a false sense of protection, it also creates a barrier that blocks out our dreams.
Removing our defensive walls can be overwhelming, especially as we uncover doubts, insecurities and fears rooted in unpleasant past experiences and traumas. We all have emotional scars and insecurities that we quietly harbor.
However, to live our best life we must resist the urge to live like an unopened gift wrapped up in a box – even when it feels like the safest space. We must call on our angels, spirit guides, and loved ones in spirit to help remove the outer layers that are keeping us from our best life.
While opening yourself up to living an authentic life might feel daunting, even frightening to embrace, putting ourselves out there is necessary to create the life we truly deserve. The shift does not have to be big and bold; our transformation can come incrementally in small steps. Smaller, more attainable steps towards change will ultimately cultivate much grand, more significant outcomes.
The essential component to transforming one’s life for the better is to carefully and honestly assess where change may be needed. This way we can identify the promising, successful aspects of our life, as well as those with growth opportunities requiring adjustments and greater authenticity.
Never Allow Regret To Hold You Back
Recently, I attended a celebration of life gathering held in memory of a friend who died under tragic circumstances. He was an incredible energy healer, and also exquisitely crafted Native American flutes and drums. We had been friends for decades, but over the years we saw less and less of each other. The relationship between us was, however, a matter of ‘out of sight, out of mind.’
Our individual schedules were such that life eventually got in the way. There was however an unmistakable mutual respect and heart-centered connection between us facilitated by Spirit whenever we did meet. We would offer each other guidance, support, and fresh perspectives in those special moments.
My friend and his wife met about two decades ago at a spiritual event and eventually became an incredible spiritual team. Before they met, I remember his future wife asking me to swap readings with her.
“Sure, why not?” I said, although I was actually quite nervous and still new to doing readings on a ‘professional basis.’
When I read for her, the information that came through included various confirmations regarding her spiritual work, including her music, becoming an author, teaching, and her increased spirit connection. Last, but not least, there was also the indication of a potential romantic relationship, including a timeframe for approximately when this might unfold. Soon after, the two of them met. Over the years, it was great to see their relationship blossom and thrive. They truly became partners in life, love, and business.