self-empowerment
Breaking Free From A Toxic Family Curse
Over the past year and a half, I have been working with a client who grew up in one of the most toxic families I have ever encountered in my work. It has been a long time since I have been so moved by a client’s tragic story and ancestral legacy. With her permission, I thought it might be helpful to share some of her experiences.
She was raised by an extremely narcissistic mother who manipulated and emotionally abused her for most of her life with belittling scapegoating and harsh criticism, until she finally managed to break free and set healing, healthy boundaries.
But once those long overdue boundaries were in place, she suddenly discovered that her siblings had taken it upon themselves to continue their mother’s toxic behavior toward her! While she thought she had finally found some peace in her life, and could safely confide in her siblings about her healing journey, she soon found out how wrong she was.
Until recently, she had openly shared her thoughts and feelings about her mother with her siblings. They, in turn, wholeheartedly agreed and confided that they felt the same way. As her younger siblings, they claimed to have endured similar abuse from their mother. No matter what they said or did, they were also constantly verbally attacked and criticized by her.
Meanwhile, none of her siblings claims were true. As the family scapegoat she was in fact the only one who endured all their mother’s abuse. I tried to caution her every time we did a reading, but she suffered betrayal blindness when it came to her siblings, in the same way she did for many years with her mom.
Make The Most Of Your Next Saturn Return
Saturn can be a very challenging, difficult planetary influence because of the astrological phenomenon known as Saturn Return, which occurs every 27 to 30 years, which is the duration of its orbit around the Sun back to the same place in the galaxy where it was at the time of our birth. It literally returns to the same zodiac sign, degree, and house.
The three Saturn Return in our lifetime occurs around the ages of 27 to 31; 56 to 60, and 84 to 90. Although it is possible to estimate your dates using an online calculator, it may be best to have it calculated by an experienced astrologer.
This major astrological aspect is not to be taken lightly. Saturn Return is associated with major life transitions and personal upheaval. Such as relationship breakups, divorce, relocations, health challenges, and major career, business, or lifestyle changes.
It is a highly self-reflective time when we must contemplate our path, evaluate the choices we have made thus far, and carefully consider what is no longer serving us. People often get sober, get divorced, get married, change jobs, or decide to have children during this time.
Saturn Return exposes our dysfunctional habits and past mistakes, and we gain a new perspective on our life. If we carefully work through these challenges and redefine ourselves on a deeper level, we are empowered to move into a new and improved next chapter of our life.
My first Saturn return included personal growth and healing work brought on by two dysfunctional relationships.
The first was a crush I had on an older boy when I was 11 years old. I have since been shown that I have shared several past lives with him. This time he wanted nothing to do with me, because I was just the “weird psychic kid.”
The Magical Possibilities Of 6,000 Thoughts
According to a 2020 study at Queen’s University in Kingston, Ontario, we have more than 6,000 thoughts a day. From a spiritual perspective, this is fascinating, but also potentially troublesome.
Those of us who are metaphysically aware know that our thoughts create our reality. Not only do our positive or negative thoughts determine what will manifest in our lives, but also how we choose to feel and act based on those 6,000 daily thoughts!
In addition, we tend to have lingering thoughts and nagging worries that we obsess over throughout the day. The more we repeat those same toxic thoughts, the more they gain energetic momentum and manifesting power. Thoughts are energy vibrations, and thoughts become things.
We all have the innate spiritual freedom to act of our own free will. Every thought we have comes with choices and options. It can range from a simple decision to stop thinking a particular negative thought…to making a life-changing decision.
Unfortunately, most people make the same choices over and over again. They stick with what is safe, comfortable, familiar, or predictable, while ignoring the other options that may be open to them. This is often how we get stuck in comfort zones, or struggle to manifest the things we dream about.
In order to manifest new things and invite change into our lives, we must carefully examine our thought patterns and habits. If we choose the same responses and actions to the same thoughts every day, we cannot expect to move forward, or create a new reality. Often the problem is not the thoughts we think, but how we choose to feel and act in response to those thoughts.
Setting Healthy Boundaries With Toxic People
I have often wondered why so many of us tolerate unhealthy, unhappy, and sometimes very dysfunctional relationships with relatives and friends. Too many of us endure the toxic dynamics in our families and friendships, putting up with being the scapegoat, emotional punching bag, financial provider, free therapist, or nanny.
Why is it that many of us tend to keep giving the people in our lives second chances and multiple opportunities to learn and grow, hoping that they will somehow become more considerate, loving, and compassionate?
Meanwhile, we ignore their nasty words, spiteful behaviors, and toxic exchanges. We remain kind, tolerant, and patient. We try to help them lighten up, or connect on a deeper, more caring level. We hope that maybe someday everyone will be happier together and enjoy sharing more love and belonging, instead of dysfunction and drama.
But as the years go by, they continue to disappoint, abuse, and betray us. The loving kindness and mutual support never comes. Try as we might in these toxic situations, the people we love and care about will continue to talk down to us or try to make us feel that we are not good enough. These complicated family and friendship situations can eventually cost us our physical and mental health, our financial security, and our personal accomplishments.
I find this to often be the case with my clients who are gifted, empathic, highly sensitive, and spiritually aware. Some even consider it their purpose or calling in this lifetime. However, while being a wounded healer or earth angel is certainly a noble calling, being a scapegoat or doormat is definitely not! God, Source, Spirit, the Divine wants us to be happy, healthy and safe, and to live our best life.
Free Yourself From An Unhealthy Relationship
An intimate relationship or marriage is meant to be a safe space. Your partner or spouse is supposed to be the closest person in your life. They should be the one person you are able to trust unconditionally with the most important aspects of your life.
If you are currently in a challenging relationship, you need to ask yourself if this union has all the key traits for a healthy, happy relationship. Do you feel secure, safe, and supported? More importantly, do you feel loved and valued?
If not, are you hoping it will somehow work eventually, and develop into something that will offer you more of what you need and deserve?
These are vital questions to ask yourself, not only before you commit to someone, but also throughout the relationship. All relationships evolve over time as people change and grow.
Just because everything was great during the initial ‘honeymoon’ phase of a relationship, does not guarantee it will remain that way. A healthy relationship continues to grow and evolve, as both partners grown and evolve.
I have worked with many clients over the years who settled for less, or got caught up in the downward spiral of a dysfunctional, toxic relationship. Saying “I love you” does not mean much if it is not backed up by matching actions and behavior.
The True Meaning Of Judgment
Judgment is card 20 in the Tarot’s Major Arcana. Arcana means “hidden things, mysteries,” from the Latin arcanum meaning “a secret, a mystery” and arcanus meaning “secret, hidden, private, concealed.” Arcana are therefore “pieces of mysterious knowledge or information.”
In a standard Tarot deck, there are 21 Major Arcana cards. They define The Fool’s journey (the first card) through life and all of the life lessons we encounter along the way. As one of the final stages in The Fool’s journey, the Judgment card represents having learned sufficient lessons to now awaken from the illusion and limited perceptions.
The most well-known tarot deck is the Rider–Waite. Pamela Coleman Smith, aka “Pixie,” was a British artist who illustrated the deck. She deserves much credit for the brilliant way she captured advanced spiritual concepts in the deck’s artwork.
The Rider–Waite Judgment card depicts three resurrected figures, a woman, man, and child, reaching up to an Archangel overhead blowing a trumpet as a wake-up call. The scene is based on Christian imagery representing the Resurrection and Last Judgment. The flag of St. George hangs from the trumpet, which references 1 Corinthians 15 in The Bible.
The Judgment card reminds us that no matter what our background may be, we can rise up and transcend any trauma or adversity in life, regardless how challenging the situation. We also have the power to see through the illusion of life and wake up to the truth.
Transform Your Life One Step At A Time
Knowing when to make that much needed change in your life can be daunting and very confusing. We often feel this need for change when we already have a lot going on. We tend to also overthink things and then feel overwhelmed, or even paralyzed with anxiety or fear.
Once you get into this kind of ‘stuck’ pattern, nothing seems to get done or resolved. No choices or decisions are made. In turn, this causes even more unhappiness, distress, and turmoil in your life. We all have a tendency to get in our own way.
Over the years of working with many clients in this situation, spirit has always made one thing very clear: it always starts with a firm choice or decision. You don’t have to act on it immediately, but it instantly begins to shift your energy in a new direction, or towards a long-term solution.
Indecision, fear, or lack of commitment to a clear vision for the future is first and foremost what keeps many people stuck indefinitely in the stagnant energy loop of an unhappy, unfulfilled life.
Once you have made up your mind about what you intend to achieve or which direction you wish to go, you gain more clarity and become calmer and more grounded to start taking baby steps forward. Then you can begin to resolve the situation one step at a time with spirit’s support.
To get started consider a simple, step-by-step approach to make break the process down into smaller steps that will be less overwhelming and more attainable.