The Necessity Of Grief

As a psychic medium one learns a lot about grief. There are many different kinds of grief, and it’s not all about death and dying. We grieve many different things in life.

I often hear my clients describe their grief as “my heart has a hole in it” or “my heart has been ripped apart.” When we grieve it does feel as if our heart will never heal. It’s like your physical body is having an actual heart attack.

What each grieving individual experiences is different. Grief has so many different forms and it is impossible to know how it will affect each individual person. We each grieve in our own way.

There is also no time-frame on grief. The length of time a person may grieve is very individual some people may start to feel a little better seven to ten weeks. For others it may be years.

The risk of love is loss, and the price of loss is grief – But the pain of grief is only a shadow when compared with the pain of never risking love ~ Hilary Stanton Zunin

Grief is a normal natural emotion. It is a profound sadness for loss or changes in our life. When major things happen that a person has no control over, or did not want, we tend to also grieve. Unwanted change is most always hard and grief is a natural emotion in response to such unwanted change.

Feelings of grief and loss is most often experienced when we lose someone to death of physical body, or anything that we care about, such as loss of a pet, relationship, job, home – anything that changes life as we know it.

One kind of grief that people feel a lot is when a marriage or partnership ends. Even though it may be what is best for all involved and a mutual parting of the ways. A person may grieve what they wanted the relationship to be – not in reality what it really was.

The Kübler-Ross model of grief postulates a series of emotions by survivors of an intimate’s death wherein the five stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. The model was first introduced by psychiatrist Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her 1969 book, On Death and Dying: What the Dying Have to Teach Doctors, Nurses, Clergy and Their Own Families. It was inspired by her own work with terminally-ill patients.

Grief is a healing process when it is allowed to unfold naturally. Profound healing takes place through this process. Emotion are rarely the same for all people, or the order in which they are expressed. It is normal to skip some of the grief stages, or to go back and forth between them.

Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim ~ Vicki Harrison

Sometime a person may start to feel better and all of a sudden revert back to an earlier stage. There can be triggers that will put you back in a difficult place, such as a favorite song, seeing the kind of car the person had, going to a place you went together. It is perfectly normal and natural to have such emotions around these triggers and it is a part of the healing process.

Some people really never feel a lot better, they just learn to go on with life somehow. In my experience as a psychic medium our loved ones want us to get on with our lives and find some joy and inner peace for the rest of our time here on the Earth.

Transition from one of the major chapters of our lives, to the next, may be one of the biggest challenges we face. One way to move forward is to take a step back. Think of the present and the future, have realistic expectations. Expect to feel a sense of sadness loss and grief. We need to remember that it’s impossible to recreate the past.

Accept that you made the best decisions you thought at the time. Don’t judge our self too harshly. It’s important to have positive self-talk. You can always start again; tomorrow is a new day. The sun will always shine again.