inner strength
Learning To Check In With Spirit
It is likely you have a friend, co-worker or relative that is in an unhealthy or even abusive relationship. We all know people who are kind, sweet, giving, and thoughtful, who become involved with emotionally absent, dysfunctional, abusive partners.
I know someone who is currently in such a situation. Her loving nature and generosity far exceeds anything I have ever experienced in another person, and I count myself exceptionally lucky to have her as my friend.
We have known each other for many years, but have only recently developed a much closer relationship, because we have both experienced a deep loss in recent years. Grief and bereavement becomes somewhat more tolerable if one has a close friendship in which you can safely express and share your sorrow.
Judging by my friend’s gentle, kind nature one might expect she would be with a life partner who has similar traits and appreciates her, but shockingly she is in one of the most toxic relationships I have ever encountered. She is not being physically assaulted, but she is subjected to unbearable verbal and emotional abuse.
It has been going on for a very long time. I continue to offer her my unconditional love and support but feel at a loss beyond that. I have asked her why she is still in that situation with so very little to indicate there will ever be any miraculous changes? But she has always evaded these questions.
Recently, she finally confessed her reason for staying with him: she is worried about what people might think and say if she leaves him! I asked her what people? She replied, her friends and family. They might find fault with her for breaking up the family.
Stop Blocking Yourself!
Have you ever felt like your life is just going nowhere, or you can’t connect emotionally to another person? At these times there is always one thing after another, and events in your life simply don’t seem to ‘gel’, or go right. Maybe you can’t get the job you want, or you are lonely.
There are so many barriers we have to deal with, but there is a way to overcome all of this. The best way to do it is by truly knowing yourself – through self-discovery – and by letting go of people and material things that hold you back.
So many times we invest so much wasted energy in people-pleasing. Instead of constantly trying to please others, we could use this time to live a happier life, with greater more spiritual awareness, which will in turn make us much more useful in our service to others. Instead we spend so much time thinking about things we may have done wrong, the wrong others have done to us and regretting what we could have done differently
When we try and reason about our mistakes it just leads to anguish, because we have a lack of faith – faith in God and in ourselves. But, if we go before the thrown of God and get on bended knees, we will find that inner peace, grace and forgiveness that so many people venture off to far of places, looking to find. That inner peace and joy is always there and available, we just have to look up!
Also, we are concerning ourselves too much with the things of the world, putting too much value on financial success and material possessions. These can become obstacles that keep us from connecting with those we love, or want to love. It is pure self-sabotage.
Embracing The Uncertainty Of Change
One of the earliest life lessons I had to learn the hard way is that change is the only thing that ever consistently happens in life. We cannot avoid it. It is fundamental to our journey in this lifetime to learn to embrace change, as without it we cannot grow and evolve as spiritual beings.
Yet, change causes much fear and apprehension for many people. It can be daunting. This is in fact one of the reasons why clients contact me for advice and predictions. In life it is vital to always be prepared for change.
Being mentally and emotionally prepared gives us a greater sense of control over any forthcoming event and thus alleviate some of its stress. Who wants to remain stagnant anyway? It is vital to look for the good that change can bring, rather than dwell on any potential negative impact it could bring about. We need to take on board the necessity to learn and strengthen from it.
Change comes in many forms. For example, it is estimated some people change their homes up to eight times in their lifespan. How stressful is that? But instead of focusing too heavily on the downside, such as the stress of buying, selling and packing, spirit advises we see a new home as a beautiful new chapter in our lives. Think of it as an exciting fresh start and allow yourself time to adjust. You may soon be happier in your new abode than you could ever imagine!
Beginning a new job is equally stressful. For whatever reason you find yourself in new employment, the very thought of walking into a new workplace on a Monday morning, meeting new colleagues in unfamiliar environment is always daunting. However, rather than be afraid, advises spirit, why not congratulate yourself for being there in the first place?
The Healing Power Of Positive Self-Talk
Most people indulge more in negative self-talk, than positive. But self-talk is not supposed to be negative and overly critical. We are supposed to use it to encourage, empower and motivate ourselves to achieve success and follow our dreams.
Our brain has the conscious mind, the subconscious mind, and what is known in hypnosis as the critical factor of mind. This critical factor is that part of our consciousness that checks and filters every through and idea that enters our mind. It is like the gatekeeper or the guardian between the conscious mind and the subconscious. That is how hypnosis works – it is a way to bypass the critical factor so that we can access the subconscious and reprogram it with new information and insights for healing and self-empowerment.
The role of the critical factor is to protect our mind, but this is not always a good thing. Because of the job the critical mind is tasked to do, it tends to be critical of everything. It is unfortunately also that part of our brain that says we are not worthy or deserving, that we cannot do things, or achieve things.
I cannot get the job I really want.
I’m not worthy of a happy, healthy relationship.
I am not smart and pretty enough.
People just don’t like me.
Why do bad things always happen to me?
The one big problem with the critical factor is that it does not always see or hear things the way they really are. It can convince of things that are not true at all. For example, it may you that others are trying to get you fired from a job, when in fact the boss is trying to help you keep your job.
The Power And Beauty Of Your Inner Divine Light
A friend recently asked me to help her hang a new chandelier. And reluctantly, I agreed to give up my treasured Sunday evening movie time to help with the project.
Arriving at her house, I found her with a very heavy box nearly five feet tall. At first, I could not fathom the actual size and shape of the chandelier hidden beneath the layers of packaging and thick pieces of unyielding plywood and cardboard.
I was surprised to eventually find what seemed like a chaotic mess of tangled wires affixed to hundreds of tiny quartz crystals. Could it be a warehouse or shipping mishap, I wondered?
I stepped back and took a deep breath, asking myself if I had maybe taken on more than can handle. But before I could speculate any further, my friend proceeded to life up the chandelier to allow each of the seemingly coiled wires to gently fall into place!
I was amazed at how something that appeared so entangled and messy one moment, could suddenly transform into this breathtaking spectacle of sparkling light. Then we added the large quartz stones for the ends to complete the fixture, and soon it was hanging in my friend’s dining room. And I stood back in awe of its magnificent beauty. I was speechless.
This experience reminded me of those times in life when everything seems to be upside down and off-kilter. Those unexpected situations that render us temporarily overwhelmed. I have no shame in admitting that I have succumbed to feeling somewhat defeated in moments like that.
But what I have also learned with the guidance of Spirit is there is always the opportunity in our lives to transform with just a little bit of courage and perseverance a seemingly messy dilemma into something positive and beautiful. No matter how difficult a situation might appear, there is always a silver lining. Continue reading
To Hate Is A Self-Destructive Choice
When I was in middle school, around the age of 13 or so, I remember an older, more popular girl used to constantly bully me. I also remember coming home from school and telling my mother about it. I told my mother that I hated that girl, but she very sternly said, “Oh no, you don’t hate anyone!”
I defiantly replied, “Oh yes, I do!”
My mother then patiently replied, “Okay, well if you are going to insist on hating her, please go and do it somewhere else, young lady. I do not want to hear about it anymore!”
She never explained to me why she felt it was inappropriate for me to hate anyone. I didn’t figure this out until much later in my life.
My own daughter is now also a teenager and she sometimes comes home from school with similar complaints. A girl at school has been spreading false rumors about her. Just like I did all those years ago, my daughter also told me how she hated this girl. And I replied the same way my mother did, except I also explained that hate only breeds more hate.
To hate someone or something only hurts you, no one else. My daughter hating this person she feels has wronged her, will only cause her to hurt herself more with negative emotion, every time she thinks about this person. Every time she tells a friend or family member about this girl, she will be refueling her own negative fire. Thus, she will only end up hurting herself more.
The other girl does not feel every occasion my daughter is upset, or reliving the hurtful situation that occurred. In reality, my daughter is punishing herself every time she thinks about how this person wronged her. This is what we all tend to do, when we find ourselves in similar or hurtful situations.