life
Free Yourself From An Unhealthy Relationship
An intimate relationship or marriage is meant to be a safe space. Your partner or spouse is supposed to be the closest person in your life. They should be the one person you are able to trust unconditionally with the most important aspects of your life.
If you are currently in a challenging relationship, you need to ask yourself if this union has all the key traits for a healthy, happy relationship. Do you feel secure, safe, and supported? More importantly, do you feel loved and valued?
If not, are you hoping it will somehow work eventually, and develop into something that will offer you more of what you need and deserve?
These are vital questions to ask yourself, not only before you commit to someone, but also throughout the relationship. All relationships evolve over time as people change and grow.
Just because everything was great during the initial ‘honeymoon’ phase of a relationship, does not guarantee it will remain that way. A healthy relationship continues to grow and evolve, as both partners grown and evolve.
I have worked with many clients over the years who settled for less, or got caught up in the downward spiral of a dysfunctional, toxic relationship. Saying “I love you” does not mean much if it is not backed up by matching actions and behavior.
Make Today Your New Miracle
No matter how hard we try, it often feels that nothing in life ever changes. The truth is, something always changes. We change.
We have all said the wrong thing, at the wrong time and to the wrong person. We have all yelled at the gods in some way, or blamed the wrong people for choices we made ourselves. We have all felt badly about ourselves. We are not always happy at the end of a day. But somehow we always make it through.
We sometimes wonder why we spend so much time alone, yet we fail to realize that our very aura puts out an energy that builds a wall around us, so no one wants to come in. We don’t realize that no matter how we pretend to ourselves that we are trying to be positive, no matter how much we want to make it about “no one loves me, I’m going to go eat some worms,” our pity for ourselves creates an aura, an energy, that tells others that we don’t like ourselves.
The truth is, the very people we think are avoiding us, are in their own private minds also not wanting to share the hurt, the disappointment, the loneliness they are feeling.
Spirit most often feels sad, very sad, when someone says “I’m always alone.” Because in truth, we are never alone. We each have spirit guardians, guides, protectors, instructors around us.
Today is a new day. We can change our day, by not repeating yesterday. We can begin to change our life by just doing one thing different today.
Why We Need To Give Up Hope
I am not someone who believes much in having ‘hope.’ I never hope for things. To me ‘hoping’ means ‘clutching at straws’ and ‘selling myself short.’ To merely hope for something is to remain in uncertainty and demonstrates a lack of trust and faith in the abundance of the Universe.
I learned this the hard way in my own life. In the past, whenever I used to ‘hope’ for a change or outcome in my life, it seldom brought me anything worthwhile. In fact, it usually just prolonged the misery.
The notion of ‘hope’ reminds me of the popular adage: “I’ll believe it when I see it.” People often say this whenever they deem something impossible. And herein lies the problem with the word ‘hope,’ as it carries the same negative vibe: “I don’t believe it likely or possible, until proven otherwise.”
This kind of intentional energy is contrary to the creative power we carry within as spiritual beings. Constantly expressing doubt and skepticism is certainly not a sign of higher consciousness or spiritual awareness. Instead of demanding proof for what we wish for, what we should be saying instead is: “I’ll see it when I believe it.” This carries a completely different vibration, don’t you agree?
Do you find yourself being more of a ‘hoper,’ instead of a believer? If so, then you may find it helpful to change this kind of negative, defeatist energy when you need a change in circumstances or you are wanting something positive to manifest in your life.
Plucking An Eyelash Changes The Universe
The decisions you make today will decide the outcome of your life tomorrow. No matter how small or big these decisions may seem to be.
We have all been in those situations where we had to make an important decision. Should I leave, or should I stay? Should I pursue a new relationship, or should I stick with the one I am currently in? Is all this effort really worth it? One of the most difficult things you will ever have to do is make that all-important life changing decision.
When my grandpa was in the hospital, we had to make the tough decision to either turn off his life support or keep him alive and let him keep on taking morphine. We made the decision to let him go. Fortunately, he made it easy for us to decide, because it was his wish in life that it should be done, if ever it had to come to that.
Afterwards he did come to me in spirit and shared that he was grateful we did it after all. I knew we had made the right choice, but it was still nice getting that confirmation from him directly.
But such are not the only challenging decisions we face in life. I deal with people every day who face difficult choices or are at a crossroads in life. Sometimes they face what may appear to be a simple decision, but it is not. They ask me things like, “Should I go with this new guy, who contacted me on Facebook, or should I work things out with my marriage of 25 years?”
I always tell people to let their intuition be their guide. I get a lot of people, women mostly, asking me how do they know to trust there intuition; how do they know it is guiding them in the right direction? I tell them to spend some time just being quiet, and to really meditate and feel what their Higher Self is telling them to do.
Take Some Time Out To Embrace The Silence
I see now, more than ever before, parents busying their children with this and that sport, and this and that activity. I sometimes wonder if they ever have time to just be children.
I see how fast time flies these days and I think we actually make it go by even faster by overloading our lives with so much activity. We over commit ourselves way too much. I have been carefully watching my world lately, and I have seen the busy lifestyles of my friends and family. I see how frantic everyone has become. Such a commotion!
I find it disturbing how we over-busy ourselves and our children, and our lives. We really miss out on what I deem as the ‘finer things’. We need to get that connection back. It’s never too late.
We need to take it down a notch. I understand there are things we have to do – go to work, pay the bills, chores to do, people to see. Sure, I get it! But there are those additional things that we sign on to do when we really shouldn’t, or don’t have the time for, and when we do it has a domino effect. Chaos. Anxiety. Stress.
We need time to unwind more, and not just when we give ourselves six or less hours of sleep. We carve time out for our kids and for our friends and family, and often there is really no time left for a few blissful moments of silence. It’s in the silence that we can know ourselves and truly learn to live with a glass half full mentality.
We are filling our days with so much unnecessary activity these days just to keep up with the Joneses. What is wrong with staying home once in a while? I think staying at home is underrated. I don’t know about you, but home is where my yoga mat has its place and I don’t have to pay a gym membership to be active in my own home. It’s also where my library is, and my family, and most of the things I love and enjoy.
Embracing The Uncertainty Of Change
One of the earliest life lessons I had to learn the hard way is that change is the only thing that ever consistently happens in life. We cannot avoid it. It is fundamental to our journey in this lifetime to learn to embrace change, as without it we cannot grow and evolve as spiritual beings.
Yet, change causes much fear and apprehension for many people. It can be daunting. This is in fact one of the reasons why clients contact me for advice and predictions. In life it is vital to always be prepared for change.
Being mentally and emotionally prepared gives us a greater sense of control over any forthcoming event and thus alleviate some of its stress. Who wants to remain stagnant anyway? It is vital to look for the good that change can bring, rather than dwell on any potential negative impact it could bring about. We need to take on board the necessity to learn and strengthen from it.
Change comes in many forms. For example, it is estimated some people change their homes up to eight times in their lifespan. How stressful is that? But instead of focusing too heavily on the downside, such as the stress of buying, selling and packing, spirit advises we see a new home as a beautiful new chapter in our lives. Think of it as an exciting fresh start and allow yourself time to adjust. You may soon be happier in your new abode than you could ever imagine!
Beginning a new job is equally stressful. For whatever reason you find yourself in new employment, the very thought of walking into a new workplace on a Monday morning, meeting new colleagues in unfamiliar environment is always daunting. However, rather than be afraid, advises spirit, why not congratulate yourself for being there in the first place?
The ‘Big Chill’ Moment Of A Soulmate Reunion
I started my first full-time job at age 17 working in the Conservation Corps. I grew up in a rural community and the local Conservation Corps was engaged in environmental stewardship, such as clearing debris and fallen trees from streams to prevent floods and fire hazards. As a teenager, I had many small jobs babysitting, gardening, and so on, but this was my first serious employment after graduating high school.
On my first day of work, I sat on a fence waiting for the bus that would drive us into the woods, when another bus full of ‘city kids’ arrived. The first guy that emerged from the city bus looked directly into my eyes and I remember having a million thoughts all at once!
His eyes were green, like mine. I believe that was a memory trigger. A memory trigger is a soul recognition clue that we program into the psyche before we come into this life. Its purpose is to remind us subconsciously of a soul contract. Soul contracts are agreements between ourselves and others to work out karma in this lifetime.
Mr. Memory Trigger Eyes looked down almost immediately once he saw me, bashfully, with a blushing face. Looking into his eyes felt like a lightning bolt hit my body. I felt a ‘big chill’ at the same time. The hair on my arms stood up. It was electric and exciting! There was an instant familiarity between us.
Although I had never met him before, I somehow felt I knew him. His face seemed familiar, which I ascribe to the built-in memory triggers. The ‘big chill’ is spirit stirring your psychic memory. I instantly knew I recognize his energy signature from past lives and the spirit realm. I even heard my higher self whisper, “He’s the one.” And he did turn out to be my first love in this lifetime.
During the three months we worked together, he flirted shyly with me, stared at me from afar. I knew we would eventually be in a relationship. There was never any doubt in my mind. I just knew it. But what was taking him so long?
