transformation
The Hidden Blessing Of Dysfunctional Parents
For those of us who grew up with dysfunctional or abusive parents, the journey of healing is not a straight path. It twists and turns through shadows of anger, grief, and longing.
But, within this curse always lies a paradoxical hidden blessing or two. Even the most wounded parents can be our teachers and a source of inspiration, not because of what they gave us, but because of what they could not.
Yes, dysfunctional and abusive parents can be an inspiration. Not in the sentimental sense of gratitude for their suffering, but in the clear-eyed recognition that their brokenness became the rich soil in which your awareness grew.
A damaged parent can inspire you to live more consciously, to love with intention, and to stop the cycle of ancestral pain that shaped them and you.
They can inspire you to use their example as a guide for what not to do, what not to say, and who not to become.
Their absence of nurturing can ignite within you the sacred resolve to be present and compassionate. Their harshness can awaken your gentleness. Their coldness can teach you warmth. The rejection you endured can remind you daily to make every person you love feel safe, seen, and cherished!
Even if your parents were never healed, you can be. Even if they never awakened, you can awaken. Their story does not have to become your destiny. You can use their limitations as fuel to create something better, purer, and truer.
Reclaiming The Voice Of Your Inner Child
I always sing with my yoga students at the end of class. I used to work in the entertainment industry as a singer, dancer, and actress. Because of that, I feel confident singing in front of people.
Growing up, I was always full of joy despite my dysfunctional and rather glum family. Of course, they didn’t appreciate my natural exuberance. They certainly didn’t like that I sang all the time because it represented a lightness of being they had long since given up on.
Like many dysfunctional families, they put me down all the time. They told me that I couldn’t sing and that I sounded awful. But, as with all the other negative, hurtful things they tried to convince me of, I did not believe them.
I kept singing anyway, which irked them. I continued to sing and dance, and I even wrote, produced, directed, and starred in my own musical when I was eleven.
Now I’m not saying I had a good voice as a kid. I really don’t know if I did. But, loving to sing, some voice lessons and lots of joy certainly helped me become a relatively good singer.
One day, after my yoga class, a student came up to me and told me I had a beautiful voice. I thanked her. I often have people compliment my singing voice after class.
The student then told me her family told her she had a bad singing voice when she was a child so she stopped singing. She then mentioned other abuses she received by her cruel family.
The Simple Secret To Building Real Confidence
Building your confidence can feel vague or out of reach, like something you’re supposed to just know how to do, but often we don’t.
The typical advice is to do affirmations, spoken aloud or posted around your home, along with journaling and gratitude practices.
While these practices can help us cultivate things like intuitive awareness, inner peace or emotional balance, they aren’t always the most effective confidence builders.
There is one essential step we must take if we want to build genuine, lasting confidence. That step is action.
It’s easy to wait for confidence to arrive like a bolt of lightning, expecting it to empower us and prepare us to finally walk the empowered path of our dreams.
But the reality is that confidence doesn’t simply appear before the journey begins. It actually grows as we move forward.
Taking action can feel intimidating. You may not feel ready. You might believe you need more time, more clarity, or more skills. But readiness doesn’t magically arrive.
Change begins when we choose to take action, even if it’s imperfect. Manifestation requires more than thought and feeling. It calls for aligned, inspired action.



