News and Views From The Psychic Access Community

self-sabotage

Creating Space Between Yourself And The Addict

click pic for a free reading at PsychicAccess.comEverybody needs a little time away. Some of us need much longer. I personally know people who have been together for decades, who have found the best way for them to stay together is to give each other some space.

But some of us need even more space than others, especially those of us who are with people who struggle with substance abuse in some way, shape or form. Spirit says that you can still love someone with addiction issues, but you might need some space and time away for your own well-being. I feel strongly that it is unhealthy to stay with someone if they have an addiction, because it does not contribute to peace in the body, mind, spirit, or the home in which you dwell.

Those that have to live with someone who abuses alcohol or drugs, know how hard it can be to have a meaningful conversation or healthy relationship with that person. The energy is always of a lower vibration. And children caught up in those situations have to feel it more than the adults, who may have learned to put up a shield of protection.

We must create a space between us and the addict, in order to keep peace and harmony in the home, for ourselves and those we love and care about. Keeping a peaceful home is a responsibility not only to ourselves, but to those who we are responsible for.

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Forget Self-Love

click here for a free reading at PsychicAccess.comIf you are wounded or unhealed; if you grew up in a dysfunctional family; if you grew up in an environment of poverty, violence, racism, or sexual assault… forget self-love! Seriously. Where on Earth would you have learned the skills for giving yourself some healthy self-love? You will be shooting in the dark trying to do something that you have never seen modeled for you, and never really experienced.

‘Self-love’ has become an overrated marketing slogan to sell self-improvement products and services. Start instead with self-care. This will be difficult enough. If you have children, think back on how complex it was figuring out how to care for your first born. The same concept applies to owning your first pet as an adult. No matter how much you prepared, you were never truly prepared. You made mistakes and you learned from them.

You also discovered that sometimes caring for your child meant doing things that the child did not like, or even hated. Your child would cry, fight, throw a tantrum, while you tried to keep him away from the hot stove, or from putting something harmful in her mouth.

Learning self-care is similar to raising a child or caring for a puppy. However, you will be the child and Spirit will be the  parent. You will make mistakes and you will resist, because some of the things you currently think are acts of self-care are actually harmful to you. Continue reading

Sometimes The Solution Is Right Before Us

click here for a free reading at PsychicAccess.comA client recently asked me why ‘bad things’ keep happening in her life. Why does everything seem so hopeless and nothing is fun anymore? She is constantly in pain and there is really no more joy in her life.

The first thing Spirit showed me was a vision of myself when I was in pain, then a flash of me doing Yoga and how I was no longer in pain. For me the key is to not second guess, just to share whatever I get immediately. So, I simply told this women she must start doing Yoga. “Oh my gosh, she said, “I gave up Yoga some time ago and then the pain came back. I never thought of that!”

We have to be proactive and create positive steps in creating positive outcomes. It is simply the Law of Cause and Effect. We get pain relief from doing things that make us feel good and things that are good for us. Spirit says, “If we do nothing to fix something, nothing will get fixed.”

Sometimes in life we are so busy with the drama and chaos that we can’t think with clarity, in order to see what we need to do. Sometimes the solution is right before us, but we don’t realize it, because we are overlooking it. My client said she felt like a blindfold was lifted . Apparently she sees her old Yoga mat in her closet every day, but chose to overlook it. “Not anymore,” she laughed.

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Managing The Blocks To Manifesting

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comIt’s no longer a ‘secret’ that we contribute to and shape what comes in to our lives. The art of manifesting, or co-creating, is influenced heavily by the soul’s individual frequencies or vibrations. The key to controlling the process is to heal and clear emotional states or patterns that present an energetic block to it, resulting in a partial result, no result, or even a reverse result. I call this counter-manifesting and it often occurs unconsciously, which is typically the more powerful form of creating.

The idea that we co-create can be somewhat challenging to accept and itself may come with an attachment of fear due to the level of personal responsibility involved. It’s much easier to say it was God’s plan, or the Universe sent this, than to accept that within yourself you are having a hand in the show.

It important to understand that to manifest and create, self-awareness and self-love are key driving factors and involves acceptance of the whole self, including the ego and shadow self. This process directly impacts an individual’s level of self-worth and value. Without being at a level of deserving and in a receiving frequency it can be difficult, or almost impossible to manifest.

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Reboot Your Goals With ‘Reset Mondays’

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comWe all have goals. We plan to go big in our business, relationships, health, and many other areas of our life. Then we stumble as life happens.

Maybe you cutting out sugar this year, and then you had those chocolate chip cookies. Or did you commit to a workout schedule, only to skip a few sessions and finally give up altogether? Maybe that first date wasn’t quite what you expected, or you chose to stick with that familiar person who still doesn’t want to commit. You know what I’m talking about.

Failure and disappointment can cause us to lose our peace of mind and stay out of the game longer than we should. It then becomes more difficult to start again.

Maybe we need to be kinder to ourselves when it comes to our life goals, and appreciate the effort and progress we have already made. And when we do fall off-track, we need to consider what is underneath this action. Taking time to examine the ‘why’ can help us see the underlying cause. Sometimes it’s boredom, or old habits, fear of failure, or just that ‘little goblin’ in our head. It can also be fear of success and being seen – a new level, new devil.

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Learning To Say Yes To Yourself

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comIt is in the empath’s nature to say ‘yes’ to just about anything requested of them. It goes against our grain. For some of us, saying ‘no’ also brings on fears of rejection, abandonment or letting someone down when it may be important to support them. Rather than finding an excuse, or simply telling the truth, many of us give in and just go along. It just feels easier in the moment, and even validating or satisfying.

But when you end that phone call, or respond to another text, and you feel anxious and panicked, while you start going over all the other things that will have to fall to the wayside by saying yes, then you really are saying no to yourselfSelf-care requires that we sometimes say no to others, in order to say yes to our own well-being and peace of mind. Consequently, the person that you said yes to won’t be getting the best of you. If you have said yes at your own expense, then what you bring to the table for that person is stress and anxiety. Your best self will not be fully present.

Saying yes, when you really want to say no, can also lead to resentment that you then attach to the person who asked for your assistance. Here the responsibility lies with ourselves. We teach people how to treat us and many times we don’t give others enough credit for understanding when we say no. Most people would rather hear. “No thanks, that time doesn’t work for me” or “I have other commitments,” instead of having to sense a half-hearted or less than enthusiastic yes.

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True Love Comes Full Circle

Get a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comWhen you feel a love connection with someone, why don’t things just automatically fall into place? Shouldn’t falling in love be easy and simple? For most, it is not, and the reasons vary.

A child only instinctively knows to fear falling and loud noises. Everything else is taught to us by our parents, culture, education system, media, and authority figures in our community. They are the ones that put values upon us, teaching us what is important, and what is not. Whether you agree with them or not, you absorb it, and more often than not mimic it. I often hear people say “I am nothing like my mother and father!” And yet, they emulate traits of their parents, especially the ones they dislike the most.

Love should be easy, but when it is not, perhaps it is because you have some work to do yourself. We co-create our relationships. If it is toxic, we each have a role. Difficult relationships are challenging and we all go through them – some more than others. I myself walked into an extremely toxic relationship thinking it was going to be an epic romance!

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