wisdom
The Misguided Fear Of ‘Missing Out’
FOMO. The “fear of missing out.” The term is typically used when young people feel envious or sad because they haven’t been invited or can’t go to an event or outing that their friends are attending. For others it is a matter of feeling driven to attend absolutely everything, including the opening of an envelope.
This mindset is spiritually misguided. Firstly, if you think carefully about what you are worried about missing out on, you usually find that you are not missing out on that much after all.
Secondly, there are much more valuable things to invest your time and energy in, especially for a young person. For example, if we don’t invest in improving our well-being in body, mind and spirit early in life, we will miss out on many blessings of joy, fulfilment and abundance later in life.
Instead of trying to attend every event or doing everything and the kitchen sink to keep up with the Joneses, it makes much more sense to create a foundation of joy, inner peace and abundance for ourselves. It is a wellspring that will never run dry. This is what one should really be ‘afraid’ of missing out on.
Friends For A Reason, A Season, Or A Lifetime
I recently reconnected with a family friend with whom I had a very close relationship about three decades ago. She was like a mother figure in some ways, even though she was only about 12 years older than me at the time.
She is a very caring and nurturing person and was always there for me when my own mother was physically or emotionally unable. Her door was always open and she always had many people around her. After working in retail for many years, she changed careers to become a full-time caregiver, which she loved. After she retired and her husband passed away, she continued to be very active and had a very vibrant social life.
But during the Covid-19 pandemic, like many people her age, she experienced intense isolation and trauma. We spoke frequently on the phone during this time, and she was very much looking forward to the restrictions finally being lifted.
However, when the worst was over and most restrictions were lifted, her group of friends remained afraid to go out. Some of them even developed agoraphobia, a type of anxiety disorder that causes people to experience extreme, irrational fear of public places and unpredictable situations that they imagine could cause them harm, panic, or helplessness.
My dear friend was deeply affected by this. Seeing all her friends again was one of the things that kept her strong and hopeful through the chaos of the pandemic. But now she felt she had lost her tribe (beyond her family, who all have busy, demanding lives of their own and live several hours away). Fortunately, she is a determined soul who will not easily accept defeat and apparently she is gradually getting more of the old gang together for their usual fun meet-ups!
Raising An Old Soul
We have more people on the planet now than ever before. That means we have more old souls, and more new ones. Many parents are raising old souls and are struggling with how different it is from the information in all of the parenting books and blogs out there.
If your child is an old soul, which is one who has lived many past lives, they probably were your parent at one time. On some level they know and remember this and may challenge your authority, and change in roles. Thus, the power struggle so many parents go through.
I have been working with children for decades and have had many of them tell me their past life stories. I’ve heard, “I used to be a princess” and “I used to have a sister” or “My mom says we’re not having another baby, but I know I have a little brother coming!”
I’ve also had children tell me how they died in another life or how their mom isn’t their “real” mom. One boy told me he remembered being born. He remembered leaving the light and coming through a tunnel. It was a difficult decision to come back to Earth.
Another gifted child I worked with was able to find lost items, when his parents asked him where something was that had been misplaced. Just the faith that they had in him and the unquestioning belief that he could find these items helped him open up an invaluable gift that will serve him and others in life. Old souls also tend to have unusual or extraordinary gifts, talents and interests which should be nurtured for the greater good.
Remember, You Are Never Alone
The night is creeping up so quickly. You had so many plans for the day that has passed. You were sure that today was the day that miracles would come, that they would begin to flow. Yes, you have made some progress, you have removed some of the obstacles in your path, but here you are in the darkest part of the night, still in that place where doubt, anger, worry reign supreme.
In such moments we begin to feel alone. like a ship without a life raft, no one to call, no one to care.
Remember, we are never alone. The energies around us, the old ones, the ancients, the universe itself is here to hear our cry, our call. There are answers not only within ourselves, but there are messengers sent to Earth to listen, to hear, to care. These divine messengers come because the Great Spirit sends each one to us at just the right time.
An animal or bird we don’t normally see may appear on our path to instinctively give us the strength we may need on that path. An old beggar on the street asking for a few coins may speak words that stun us because they are exactly the words we needed to hear.
We reach out to chat groups for online support and hear craziness, advice that we can barely realistically believe. We have become cynical, forgetting that the universe puts what we need in our path when we need it.
There is no such thing as ‘being alone.’ We have the whole universe around us. So, sing out to the universe your pain, your despair. Your heart will receive the messages you need, the answers you want.
Learning To Trust Your Intuition
How often have you said, “If only I had gone with my gut?” This is a question that many of us have asked ourselves at one time or another about a matter, or even about the sincerity of a person who turned out to be untrustworthy, and we gave them the benefit of the doubt, only to feel heartbroken when they betrayed us.
We don’t have to throw reason out the window when we tune into our inner wisdom called intuition. But while it’s good to have as many facts and information available as possible before making a choice or decision, there are certain times when we don’t have the luxury of first weighing all the pros and cons. Tapping into our intuition is a powerful tool for making difficult decisions and important life choices by spontaneously ‘knowing’ or ‘sensing’ what’s best for us in our work, business, relationship, or lifestyle.
For example, as a manager you may be hiring someone for a job who ticks all the boxes in terms of qualifications and experience, but that little inner voice is screaming, “Don’t hire this person!” If you then do hire them, you may find out later that they have deep-seated issues that will upset the rest of the staff and antagonize your customers.
So many clients have told me over the years that they had an overwhelming feeling that they were making a huge mistake, but they decided to marry someone because they wanted to make everyone else happy, or because so much effort and expense had gone into the wedding arrangements. Just the other day a client told me that he should have listened to his inner guidance, not to mention the guidance he received in a psychic reading that warned him that he would end up separating within a few months of the wedding. If only he had trusted his intuition.
The True Meaning Of Judgment
Judgment is card 20 in the Tarot’s Major Arcana. Arcana means “hidden things, mysteries,” from the Latin arcanum meaning “a secret, a mystery” and arcanus meaning “secret, hidden, private, concealed.” Arcana are therefore “pieces of mysterious knowledge or information.”
In a standard Tarot deck, there are 21 Major Arcana cards. They define The Fool’s journey (the first card) through life and all of the life lessons we encounter along the way. As one of the final stages in The Fool’s journey, the Judgment card represents having learned sufficient lessons to now awaken from the illusion and limited perceptions.
The most well-known tarot deck is the Rider–Waite. Pamela Coleman Smith, aka “Pixie,” was a British artist who illustrated the deck. She deserves much credit for the brilliant way she captured advanced spiritual concepts in the deck’s artwork.
The Rider–Waite Judgment card depicts three resurrected figures, a woman, man, and child, reaching up to an Archangel overhead blowing a trumpet as a wake-up call. The scene is based on Christian imagery representing the Resurrection and Last Judgment. The flag of St. George hangs from the trumpet, which references 1 Corinthians 15 in The Bible.
The Judgment card reminds us that no matter what our background may be, we can rise up and transcend any trauma or adversity in life, regardless how challenging the situation. We also have the power to see through the illusion of life and wake up to the truth.
From Fictional Self To Authentic Self
A new concept that seems to be going around a lot lately in the spiritual community is to be your ‘authentic self.’ But what does this really mean? How do you know who your authentic self is? Heck, you may say, “I’m still trying to find out what my life purpose is, never mind who I truly am!”
Well, as a result of our education, our upbringing, our family dynamics, our job, and such, when we are asked the question “who are you,” we resort to answers such as: a mom, a dad, engineer, doctor, janitor. We tend to express our identity by what work we do, what credentials we have, and what society or our community has told us to be. We are bombarded by social, political, environmental and family expectations that can overwhelm us in modern life.
On top of this, the world today seems to be in chaos. There is distrust everywhere, and we have to contend with challenges like identity theft and social peer pressure. Yet, we are now also expected to know our authentic self? “God, help me, I don’t have time to look for that! I have the kids to take care of, work deadlines to keep, dinner and laundry to do, and I urgently need to sign up for an exercise program to reduce my weight!”
It is never ending, you say. Your authentic self is somewhere, you just don’t know where and no time to find it. But that is just the point! All these things we are expected to do are there because of the pressure we put on ourselves. As we look through our colored lenses of self-inflicted expectations and the social pressure we have learned from family or peers, we lose touch with who we really are, and what we truly want.