listening
When Communication Breaks Down In A Relationship
So often callers ask me why they have trouble communicating with their partner or spouse. There’s often some kind of miscommunication going on in many people’s relationships these days.
And these misunderstandings quickly snowball into something bigger if they’re not addressed early on.
When someone contacts me for a reading with this kind of question, I go in and do the work to get to the root of the problem. Superficial answers are never good enough when it comes to the people we love and care about.
Because let’s face it, love and relationships are vital to our happiness and sense of belonging, but they are rarely easy and straightforward. They are worth the effort when the connection is real.
The first thing I always check with this kind of reading is if there’s any infidelity or dishonesty. It’s uncomfortable and dangerous territory, but we always have to rule it out because it’s so common these days.
If one person isn’t being honest or cheating, it throws everything else off balance. There’s no point in doing deep relationship recovery and healing work if the foundation of trust and integrity is crumbling.
Once that’s clear, I tune in to see if there is what I call a “love cord” connection between the couple. This is my way of checking to see if their souls are karmically connected.
Breaking Through The Walls Of Disconnection
Have you felt like you have been talking to brick walls in your relationships lately? If so, rest assured that you are not alone! This issue has been coming up more and more in my readings. Many of my clients complain that they feel like they are not being heard or that they are simply not getting through to people.
Many factors contribute to this feeling. With so many of us addicted to our phones and social media, it’s become very easy to be physically present but mentally elsewhere. This often makes any attempt to have a meaningful conversation feel like it’s taking place in an echo chamber.
We are surrounded by so many distractions these days — constant notifications, endless scrolling, and click-bait videos that often prioritize drama and misinformation over truth and depth. These distractions pull our attention away from what really matters: meaningful connection, both with others and with ourselves.
Modern life is busy and demanding. People are constantly juggling many responsibilities and stresses, and often feel drained or overwhelmed. Many of us rarely have the emotional bandwidth to fully engage in meaningful conversations.
On top of that, people are less likely to have face-to-face conversations, or at least make a phone call, as most communication these days takes place via text messages and social media comments. As a result, there is a growing lack of communication skills and many misunderstandings occur because people have difficulty expressing themselves clearly or actively listening when they are actually having a conversation in person.
The Golden Power Of Silence
I took my early morning walk today along a path surrounded by an olive grove on one side and almond trees on the other. In the background the beautiful hills seemed mystical in the early morning mist.
The only sounds that broke the silence at this early hour were the chirping of birds and the bleating of baby goats playing on the small farm opposite my house. Occasionally they were interrupted by their father, who seemed to keep them safe by nudging them into a particular corner of the property.
In these moments of peaceful silence I like to have a dialogue with spirit to receive some guidance or direction for the day, as well as answers to questions I may have about my life and work. But today I felt guided to simply contemplate the meaning of silence.
There are many forms of silence, some less peaceful than others. For example, there are the ‘elephant in the room’ or ‘cold shoulder’ moments of silence when there is awkwardness between people. There is also the ‘poker face’ silence, when someone pretends to listen, but in reality has mentally withdrawn from the conversation. We also fall silent when we are perplexed or confused. Sometimes we keep silent to avoid possible misunderstandings.
A very powerful form of silence occurs when we are deeply engaged in an activity, alone or with others. Everything else seems to fade away as we concentrate on the task at hand.
And of course the best kind of silence is when we are in communion with spirit and the cosmos. In these moments we feel completely at peace and connected to others and the universe. This silence nourishes the soul and gives rise to divine inspiration and spiritual insight.
Increase Your Power And Influence With Charisma
Charisma is a skill that can have a profound impact on our personal and professional lives. It is often wrongly assumed that charisma is a personality trait or talent that some people are born with. The truth is charisma is a learned behavior and skill that can be developed by anyone.
Charisma is the magnetic ability to attract, charm, and persuade others with our words and actions. The term originates from the Greek khárisma, which means ‘favor freely given,’ or ‘gift of grace,’ because the ancients believed that possessing this quality was a divine gift bestowed only upon those who were favored by the gods.
It is generally associated with people who are confident, engaging, and influential. By cultivating charisma, we become more effective at reaching and connecting with others, which can be invaluable in life.
Whether we are seeking to build stronger, healthier personal relationships, foster better professional connections, or make more friends, having a strong presence and the ability to engage with others is a key factor for success. Charisma is not about being arrogant, manipulative, or insincere. Rather it is about being authentic and genuine, while also being able to express ourselves in a way that resonates with others.
Charismatic people are skilled communicators who are able to listen actively, empathize with others, and express themselves clearly and persuasively. They are also able to project confidence, enthusiasm, and positivity, which can be infectious and uplifting to those around them.
Today’s Reality Is Not Tomorrow’s Certainty
Much of our lives are too often built on the unknown, the future, our tomorrow. We forget that the moment of living is right here, right now, in the present. We are living today, in this moment.
People don’t need to question what’s happening right now, because that’s usually already evident in their lives. However, they do need to ‘see’ ahead, so they can be prepared for what is to come, or reassured that they are going in the right direction. This is where my responsibility begins as a psychic reader and future forecaster.
However, sometimes when I share with people the divine messages and spiritual guidance meant for them, their response is confused or doubtful. “Uhm, I don’t see that happening,” they might say. Or, “I cannot imagine how such an outcome could be possible.”
Well, of course, you won’t see it right now! The future hasn’t happened yet. One cannot see a distant curve in the path ahead, until you actually reach it.
Psychic predictions often make less sense in the present than it ultimately will in the future. If we wish to probe the future, we must also be open to trusting the process and have the necessary faith that Spirit, God, Source, Universe, the Divine always has our best interest at heart. All will unfold as it must in divine time for our highest good.
It is also insightful to understand and heal the past, and be fully aware of what influences are happening right now, in this moment, so we can figure out how to proceed into the future, better comprehend the changes coming, to get there more easily, and to be steady and ready.
In One Ear, And Out the Other
We have all had a frustrating conversation with someone that was just not listening at all. I call it ‘the lights are on, but nobody is home’ conversations. In my opinion the world would be a better place if we all communicate more clearly, sincerely, and kindly.
I have one friend with whom it is very easy to tell that she has checked out of a conversation. She gets that blank look in her eyes, vaguely staring into the distance, drifting off into her own thoughts. Then it becomes utterly pointless to continue the conversation with her, as I might as well be talking to myself.
One sure way to tell if a person has checked out of the conversation is when they keep checking their phone. How rude is that? What could possible be on that phone screen that is so much more important than a heartfelt, meaningful conversation with a friend?
During the pandemic, I did not see one of my best friends for more than two years. When we finally met up after all this time, she spent most of our time together checking her phone messages and scrolling her social media feeds. I guess I missed her company more, than she did mine.
Of course, we all ‘space out’ in conversation sometimes, but if it happens constantly then it may be time to find out why? One of the biggest challenges in any relationship is when people feel they are not being heard. Clear communication, sincere interest, and active listening are vital ingredients in a caring, supportive relationship.
Another important aspect in any conversation is our tone of voice. It is often not what we say, but how say it that matters most. It is always amazing to me when I hear someone talk to strangers in a manner and tone of voice that is much kinder and more sincere, than the tone they use with the people closest to them.
Honor Your True Self Without The Drama
Many of people spend a good portion of their lives trying to be who they think others expect them to be. Although it is important for our own safety and peace of mind to conform and abide by society’s customs and codes of conduct, it is also imperative that we feel free to authentically express ourselves – as long as it is not detrimental to the well-being of others.
These days it can be treacherous to speak your mind or express your true feelings in just about any context, but the most troublesome of places to do this is on social media platforms, where faceless strangers often attack each other mercilessly, and at times for no apparent reason.
Instead of exposing oneself publicly to the vitriol and ill-conceived opinions of random strangers, it is best to be true to ourselves within our personal circle of influence. Being yourself and living and authentic life does not require us to announce our true thoughts and innermost feelings to the entire world.
Of course, expressing your truth to those closest to us can be equally difficult. One key to successfully communicating is to truly listen with respect and consideration to the views of others. Often, we do not really hear what is being said, because we are frantically thinking of our own response to what we assume they are saying.
Actively listening to someone explaining their position can be a real test of patience sometimes, but it usually pays off in the end by way of mutual understanding, conflict resolution, or compromise.
Disagreeing without hostility and aggression is an art in itself. The world we currently live in can be a tinder box at times, with people overreacting to even the smallest perceived slight. We cannot control the beliefs, words and actions of others, but we can certainly manage our own.