self-judgment
Facing Our Shame Leads To Spiritual Growth
I was recently reminded of a hasty set of predictions I made a decade ago for a former colleague, when I had just started my psychic career. At the time, his wife was pregnant with twins, and I foolishly attempted to forecast when, where and how they would be born. Some of my predictions panned out, while some didn’t. At least I correctly predicted they would be born under the sign of Leo!
Looking back on it, I realize I was overly giddy in wanting to share my impressions with him. I certainly overstepped boundaries as a developing psychic, when I chose to impulsively send my predictions to him by email, without him asking for it. This kind of unsolicited psychic advice is seldom a good idea.
In those early days, I wrongly assumed it was the right thing for me to do. I presumed it my duty as a psychic to share whatever I perceived. Not only did I later regret sending that unwelcome email, but I also felt very embarrassed and ashamed. It also shook my fragile ego at the time.
Today, I see it very differently. That hasty email has since served as a valuable lesson in humility, patience, and vulnerability. In fact, it made me a better psychic. These days, I am much more measured and circumspect in my approach, and I no longer feel pressured to share absolutely everything that comes to mind, especially not if it is uninvited.
We all make foolish mistakes sometimes, but we live and learn. This is, after all, what our life journey as a spiritual being in human form is all about. Sometimes my clients say things like, “I shouldn’t have said that,” or “I wish I had never done that.” I then gently remind them there’s never a black-and-white line in the sand that, once you have crossed it, you’ve forever made yourself a ‘loser’ or a ‘fool.’
Ghosting, Gaslighting And Gameplaying!
In my work as a psychic, I assist clients daily with navigating life’s challenges, especially their relationships with the people in their life. While the guidance I receive from spirit has essentially remained the same over the years, the language I use to relay this information changes over time.
The professional psychic must constantly adapt and renovate the terminology she uses in readings to communicate spirit’s messages. New slang and buzzwords continually show up in our culture as society evolves, and it must become part of the psychic’s vocabulary to ensure she communicates clearly and effectively.
Three of the new terms that frequently comes up in readings these days is ghosting, gaslighting, and gameplaying.
Ghosting
Ghosting is when someone stops communicating with you, casually ignores you, and no longer replies to any of your calls or messages. All communication is abandoned for no apparent reason.
“He has been ghosting me!” some clients frequently exclaim. “What is going on? Why is he acting this way?” In these readings, it often becomes clear that he may be doing so for one of the following reasons:
Judgment Limits Your Soul Growth
So, let’s try a different attitude just for today – just so we can experience what it’s like to exist on a higher spiritual frequency and how good it feels to be connected to God, Source, Spirit, Higher Intelligence, the Divine.
To help bring yourself into spiritual alignment and to be a healthier, happier human being, mentally, psychically and spiritually, simply let go of analyzing and evaluating others. The only reason we do this is usually because we are trying to cover up the misalignments in our own life.
When we constantly criticize and judge ourselves and others, we are essentially keeping ourselves trapped in a life on low, shallow energy altitudes. Hence we hinder our soul from achieving wonderful growth.
Some of the unhealthiest, most miserable people I know tend to always judge. They constantly feel the need to analyze and pass judgment on others, and what is worse they often judge themselves much more severely! I mean, if you can’t see it in their aura, you can definitely see it in their face. The eyes are indeed the windows to the soul.
When we have sincere faith in a higher power we simply do not feel the need to constantly judge ourselves and others. When we judge others we only hurt and limit ourselves. Judgment, intolerance and fear hinder our soul growth. So, just for today try a less judgmental attitude. You just might like it! You may even find it’s better to live this way every single day for the rest of your lifetime.
Life is simply too short and precious to spend it indulging in so much judgment and negativity. So, stop blocking yourself from being the best version of you. Do not analyze and evaluate yourself and leave others in peace to deal with their own karma.
Walking Two Moons In Their Moccasins
To judge, or not to judge, that is the question. Now, even the least religious of Christians will tell you that it is not a good idea to stand in judgment of others. In fact, Matthew 7:1-5 clearly states: “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” However, there is a little-known addition to this spiritual wisdom to be found in John 7:24: ” Stop judging by mere appearances, but instead judge correctly.”
Wait a minute? Did Jesus not instruct us never to judge? Yes, he implored us not to judge, but he also asked us to filter our experiences through the wisdom of spirit, or the eyes of divine love, before making any judgment. Indeed, some sound judgment is necessary in life. If we never judge anything at all, we may potentially become doormats to others. That’s certainly not what any wise spiritual teacher would recommend. But we need to be sensible, humble and kind in the process. We must ask for divine wisdom and guidance when considering what we say to others, as well as ourselves.
Judgment is related to karma and the ‘golden rule,’ in that we receive back what we dish out. This is not good if we hold onto our rigidity, unable to see others’ points of view. But if we open our minds and see it from another’s point of view, then we will more fairly and compassionately balance our judgments. We must remember the Native American wisdom, “Don’t judge a man until you have walked two moons in his moccasins.”
You Don’t Have To Be Perfect
Whenever we are focused on a task at hand, whether it is career, business or personal, we tend to focus on our mistakes and worry about what we may be doing wrong. Will it meet expectations? Are we good enough? The loud voice of perfectionism in our ego mind is often saying, “You did not do it right, you did not do enough…you are not enough.”
But constantly striving for perfection and beating ourselves up when we cannot meet those impossible expectations, sabotages the very thing we are trying to achieve. It impacts every part of our lives and also affects people around us, including our friends, coworkers, family and life partners.
Setting unrealistic standards for ourselves and others leaves us constantly feeling disappointed in ourselves and let down by others, over and over again. The perfectionism we are striving for becomes front and center in our in relationships, our careers, our health and our overall well-being. The result is anxiety, low self-esteem, fear of failure, depression, and broken relationships.
Failed perfectionism leads us to constantly measuring our worth against others, and vulnerable to the opinions, criticisms, and judgments of others. Perfectionists are very concerned about what others will think or say.
Striving for perfection is also about a need for control, so that our lives and those we care about will work out perfectly as we had planned. But contrary to popular belief, perfectionism does not lead to lasting success and fulfillment.
Always Regain Your Karmic Composure
When we lose our composure and get very upset or angry, it is never a dealbreaker for spirit. It is only if we completely give up and do not learn from our transgressions that our guides, angels and loved ones in spirit may raise a ‘disapproving brow.’
If we lost your cool or stepped out of line, the key is to seek out the next right thing to do make amends for our messy indiscretions. Maybe it’s picking up a lost piece of mail in the post office parking lot and placing that into the delivery bin, so that it will find its destination. Or maybe it’s feeding the homeless person who is always sitting outside your local store. Or listening with an empathetic ear to a distant relative who has suffered a lot in their life recently.
Even doing an anonymous prayer or sending healing to someone will always be welcome. Whatever your clearance path is, be sure to untie those etheric karmic cords of your recent negative emotional responses and unkind actions, and make things right!
As a spiritually aware person, I will be the first to admit that I too have my ‘moments.’ If one is still dealing with unhealed trauma, shadow work and the clearing certain energy blockages, it is inevitable that frustration, irritation and anger can happen.
Every day, when I do my Epsom salt baths, I make the best attempt I can to clear such emotional energies, but it remains a work in progress. In fact, it seems like the process will never end.
The Happiness Trinity
When a new year arrives, it is common for us to look back and wish we had done better in the previous year. To make matters worse, the past three years have been exceptionally difficult for all of us. All the more reason for us to now make a determined decision to strive for greater happiness in the coming year. But how does one achieve happiness?
The true nature of happiness has been a topic of debate since the beginning of time. Does anyone really know what true happiness is? There are many opinions, views and theories on the matter, but I believe in the end one’s personal happiness is something only you can truly define or measure for yourself.
With that said, no matter what our personal idea of true happiness might be, it will always require the foundation of three key elements: wellness of body, mind and soul. Without an optimal trinity of physical, mental, and spiritual health, one cannot truly live your best life.
A happy life begins first and foremost with physical health and self-care. Our lifestyle habits define the quality of our life. Constantly indulging in the short-term pleasures of unhealthy lifestyle choices will not ensure a happy life in the long-term. Happy people eat nutritious food, get enough exercise, sleep well, manage their stress levels, and aim to maintain a sensible work-life balance.
A sense of being happy itself is one of the countless emotions we experience in life, and while it’s not possible to always feel happy, we can still choose how we respond to life’s challenges. Choosing to see a difficult situation as an opportunity rather than an obstacle, and choosing faith over fear, are common traits among many accomplished people.