self-judgment
Comparison Poisons The Heart, Mind And Soul
When we are going through difficult times, we tend to compare our struggles and suffering to the lives of others and measure ourselves by their perceived happiness, joy and success.
We often do this these days by comparing our own lives to what others post on social media. Then we judge and mentally torture ourselves for not living up to other people’s highlight reels of happiness and good fortune.
Sure, it is sometimes beneficial to self-reflect and strive for more based on the examples of others who serve as our role models. However, when we indiscriminately compare our own life journey to everyone else’s, we end up diminishing our own uniqueness and value.
While social comparison can motivate us to improve and grow, it can also lead to toxic self-judgment, envy, resentment, and extreme unhappiness. Constantly focusing on the highlights of other people’s lives quickly becomes toxic and self-destructive.
However, this tendency is not a character flaw in some of us. In fact, it is a natural evolutionary instinct that we all have. Our ancestors survived by living in social groups. Our tendency to compare ourselves to others is therefore a very common human trait, rooted in our evolution as a species.
Our Choices Are Ours To Make
The past few years have been challenging for everyone. The pandemic, political upheaval, and economic uncertainty have affected lives all over the world.
I have personally witnessed the pain and struggles of many people close to me, as well as my clients.
I even had to take a ‘mental vacation’ at times as I began to feel disoriented and somewhat confused by the messages the angels were giving me.
I asked the why’s with no clear answers. I’ve asked the how’s without sensible explanations. As a lightworker I tend to feel compelled to fix things, to make things better.
Then one day I had a breakthrough when spirit told me clearly that it is not my job to fix everything and everyone.
Spirit has led me to understand that my job is to spread love, light and healing to the best of my ability. How people choose to think, feel and act in response to their life challenges is not for me or anyone else to try to control. Everyone’s choices are theirs to make as they see fit, and with much choice comes much responsibility.
As heartbreaking and frustrating as it may be at times, it is not my place to interfere with other people’s karmic journey and soul plan. This newfound insight was jarringly confirmed by a traumatic event just a few weeks ago.
Being Patient With The Man You Love
When we meet someone we’re attracted to, we don’t always listen to our inner voice and tend to go with our heart instead of our head. And when we don’t listen to our inner guidance and get ahead of ourselves, we tend to get hurt.
I think it is fair to say that modern women prefer men who say what they mean and mean what they say. Women today are independent and we want someone who can stand his ground and bring out the best in us.
Today’s empowered woman wants a gentleman, a best friend, a soulmate and a superhero all in one. We want romance and respect, adventure and security, strength and tenderness.
But most of all, we want loyalty, honesty and trust. Because without that, we have nothing. Unfortunately, some men never speak their minds, and some never tell the truth.
There are also men who come on too strong, always calling, always texting, making you feel like he can’t live without you and everything seems almost too good to be true. Then suddenly one day he is gone, missing in action, retreated to his cave.
Spiritual Growth Without Judgment Or Guilt
I recently had a nasty fight with my ex-husband that was definitely not in line with the spiritual values and principles I teach my clients. Afterwards, I felt very defeated and disappointed in myself for not practicing what I preach.
But then Spirit whispered in my ear.
“It’s okay not to be perfect all the time. Sometimes you need to let the toxic air out of your human ego balloon.”
Upon further reflection, I was reminded that we are all spirit beings in human form, which automatically means we are limited and fallible. No one is perfect in this world.
After all, we have signed up for a very challenging physical adventure in this lifetime, which means we all have problems from time to time and we all make mistakes. That is how we learn and grow. In fact, one of the least spiritual things we can do is pretend we’re perfect.
Sometimes we need to let off steam by releasing pent-up negative energies that tend to build up in our auras as we navigate the ups and downs and many frustrations of our daily human existence. Yes, indeed, there are times when we need to go ahead and just beat the heck out of our ego piñata to get rid of some bad juju! When we release these unwanted energies, we detoxify our energy field to live a more abundant and fulfilling life.
Surround Yourself With Divine Love
Love is a concept I encounter every day in my work, and it is indeed a multifaceted thing. In its purest form, it manifests itself as a mother’s love for her child, a partner’s love for his spouse, or a sibling’s love for a brother or sister.
But love also takes more subtle forms. It can be reflected in a teacher’s love for expanding young minds, a researcher’s desire to advance humanity, or an engineer’s fine attention to detail.
There are also negative, toxic forms of ‘love.’ Too much love, though usually well-intentioned, can be harmful. The hovering parent, the controlling spouse, the overprotective friend can stifle true growth, trust, and creativity.
Sometimes conditional love is traded like a commodity or used as a weapon. It can be withheld when behavior is perceived as lacking or used as a reward for conforming to the status quo.
Fake love is also used as a facade or camouflage. The world is full of negative energy and hidden agendas disguised as projects of love that are supposed to be “for the greater good.”
Sometimes love turns into distractions, such as self-centered schemes that are really based on greed. Some people who profess love in truth worship false praise, accolades, and self-enrichment.
Spirit invites us to abandon the charade of false love. Instead, we should strive to be kind, compassionate, and generous without expecting anything in return. We must give others the benefit of the doubt without judging their worth or intent. Each day we should step forward and ask, “How can I help?” instead of making negative assumptions. Spiritual people lead by example. We must show the world the divine beings we are inside.
Friends For A Reason, A Season, Or A Lifetime
I recently reconnected with a family friend with whom I had a very close relationship about three decades ago. She was like a mother figure in some ways, even though she was only about 12 years older than me at the time.
She is a very caring and nurturing person and was always there for me when my own mother was physically or emotionally unable. Her door was always open and she always had many people around her. After working in retail for many years, she changed careers to become a full-time caregiver, which she loved. After she retired and her husband passed away, she continued to be very active and had a very vibrant social life.
But during the Covid-19 pandemic, like many people her age, she experienced intense isolation and trauma. We spoke frequently on the phone during this time, and she was very much looking forward to the restrictions finally being lifted.
However, when the worst was over and most restrictions were lifted, her group of friends remained afraid to go out. Some of them even developed agoraphobia, a type of anxiety disorder that causes people to experience extreme, irrational fear of public places and unpredictable situations that they imagine could cause them harm, panic, or helplessness.
My dear friend was deeply affected by this. Seeing all her friends again was one of the things that kept her strong and hopeful through the chaos of the pandemic. But now she felt she had lost her tribe (beyond her family, who all have busy, demanding lives of their own and live several hours away). Fortunately, she is a determined soul who will not easily accept defeat and apparently she is gradually getting more of the old gang together for their usual fun meet-ups!
The True Meaning Of Judgment
Judgment is card 20 in the Tarot’s Major Arcana. Arcana means “hidden things, mysteries,” from the Latin arcanum meaning “a secret, a mystery” and arcanus meaning “secret, hidden, private, concealed.” Arcana are therefore “pieces of mysterious knowledge or information.”
In a standard Tarot deck, there are 21 Major Arcana cards. They define The Fool’s journey (the first card) through life and all of the life lessons we encounter along the way. As one of the final stages in The Fool’s journey, the Judgment card represents having learned sufficient lessons to now awaken from the illusion and limited perceptions.
The most well-known tarot deck is the Rider–Waite. Pamela Coleman Smith, aka “Pixie,” was a British artist who illustrated the deck. She deserves much credit for the brilliant way she captured advanced spiritual concepts in the deck’s artwork.
The Rider–Waite Judgment card depicts three resurrected figures, a woman, man, and child, reaching up to an Archangel overhead blowing a trumpet as a wake-up call. The scene is based on Christian imagery representing the Resurrection and Last Judgment. The flag of St. George hangs from the trumpet, which references 1 Corinthians 15 in The Bible.
The Judgment card reminds us that no matter what our background may be, we can rise up and transcend any trauma or adversity in life, regardless how challenging the situation. We also have the power to see through the illusion of life and wake up to the truth.