Ghosting, Gaslighting And Gameplaying!

In my work as a psychic, I assist clients daily with navigating life’s challenges, especially their relationships with the people in their life. While the guidance I receive from spirit has essentially remained the same over the years, the language I use to relay this information changes over time.

The professional psychic must constantly adapt and renovate the terminology she uses in readings to communicate spirit’s messages. New slang and buzzwords continually show up in our culture as society evolves, and it must become part of the psychic’s vocabulary to ensure she communicates clearly and effectively.

Three of the new terms that frequently comes up in readings these days is ghosting, gaslighting, and gameplaying.

Ghosting

Ghosting is when someone stops communicating with you, casually ignores you, and no longer replies to any of your calls or messages. All communication is abandoned for no apparent reason.

“He has been ghosting me!” some clients frequently exclaim. “What is going on? Why is he acting this way?”  In these readings, it often becomes clear that he may be doing so for one of the following reasons:

Coward Ghosting. It is a strategy to end the relationship quickly and easily, without giving any reason or explanation. It is essentially ‘the coward’s way out.’ The ghoster then does not have to explain themselves, or deal with the reaction and feelings of the other person. This tends to happen often in brief, short-term relationships.

That’s what people do in a disordered world, a world of freedom and choice: they leave when they want. They disappear, they come back, they leave again. And you are left to pick up the pieces on your own ~ Lauren Oliver

Cold Feet Ghosting. Some ghosters begin to panic when they feel that they are getting much too close to someone far too quickly. They cannot stand the heat, so they get out of the kitchen! They feel vulnerable, exposed, insecure or fearful, but unable to explain themselves to the other person, so they simply ghost them instead, often confusing themselves even more in the process.

Time-Out Ghosting. Ghosting is used as a strategy to get out of a triggering situation and take some time to cool off and gain a clearer perspective. For example, when there is an argument, and the ghoster does not want to discuss something or explain themselves, they take some time out of the situation by disappearing for a while.

Toxic Ghosting. The ghoster uses lack of communication and the silent treatment to punish, control or manipulate the other person. Toxic, controlling people who cannot always have things their way, may resort to punishing or coercing the other person by ghosting them. Nobody likes to be ignored for no apparent reason and the sudden silence can be very upsetting. This kind of narcissistic behavior shows the true character of the ghoster.

How do you deal with ghosting? First and foremost, refrain from contacting the person ghosting you and acknowledge that their behavior is not your fault. No matter what the ghoster’s apparent reason may be, it is never okay. Self-love and self-worth are vital, as is recognizing when to move on. A healthy, happy relationship is impossible to build if there is no respect and mutual consideration.

Gaslighting

I vaguely remember watching the classic film Gaslight (1944) with my parents when I was about seven years old. This old black-and-white thriller was scary to me at the time.

The film’s plot revolves around a greedy, scheming man who attempts to gradually drive his new wife insane so that he can eventually steal her murdered aunt’s jewelry. His goal was to make her believe that she was going mad, so that he could have her institutionalized. Inspired by the film’s title, the psychological term ‘gaslighting’ is believed to have been first used by New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd in 1995.

You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation, trying to put the pieces together. Or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move on ~ Tupac Shakur

A ‘gaslighter’ is someone who persistently pushes a false narrative, that makes the gaslighted person question themselves and their reality, or see themselves in a negative light, sometimes to the extent that they question their own worth, judgment, and even their sanity. It can be devastating to someone’s mental health and emotional well-being.

I have noticed an increase in gaslighting experiences among my clients in recent years. It is very much a sign of the times. No wonder the term was chosen as the Merriam-Webster dictionary’s 2022 word of the year!

Gaslighting statements some my clients have endured in their relationships include:

I did it because I really love you.

You are imagining things.

If you genuinely love me, then you will do what I ask you to do.

Stop being so overly sensitive and dramatic!

I really don’t know what you are talking about.

What planet are you from?

I am not the problem here, you are.

You really are insane!

By the way, gaslighting can also occur at work. For example, a coworker might spread a false rumor about you, so that you end up having to take the blame for something they did.

Gaslighting is sheer manipulation, a conscious intent to ‘brainwash,’ and nothing less than psychological abuse. The best way to prevent falling victim to it is to remain vigilant in your interactions with others, so that you can recognize it when it happens. That way you have a chance to do something about it early on, before you end up no longer knowing which way is up!

Being taken for granted is an unpleasant but sincere form of praise. Ironically, the more reliable you are, and the less you complain, the more likely you are to be taken for granted ~ Gretchen Rubin

The safest and best way to deal with a gaslighter is to disengage and avoid them completely. If you cannot avoid them, keep interactions short and to the point. Cut short the conversation if necessary.

Most of all, protecting yourself from gaslighting is very difficult if you lack self-belief and self-trust. People who do not know or trust themselves are easier to gaslight. Build your self-awareness and confidence, learn to think for yourself, stand firm in your views, build a strong support network, and share your truth when necessary. Never give away your personal power to anyone.

Gameplaying

Gameplayers, particularly in relationships, are people who engage with you only when it suits them. They smooth talk, constantly dish out compliments, bring you gifts, show lots of interest when they are with you, and even tell you deeply they care about you.

But you never get to meet their family or friends. They are secretive about their life outside your relationship and seldom talk much about themselves. And as much as they tell you they are really into you, they don’t add you on their social media. Most of all, they only spend time with you when it suits them. You are always on their schedule. They can be the life of the party, but are rarely serious about settling down.

How do you handle a gameplayer?  Well, that is easy. Never take them seriously.