self-help
How To Avoid Empath Ego-Traps
Being an empowered empath is a wonderful gift and blessing. But the empath ‘label’ can also become problematic when it is misconceived by some as meaning more than it truly signifies.
There are very common ego-traps that some empaths and highly sensitive people get hung up on with regards their empathic experiences. These ego-traps can be very counterproductive, as it may actually be holding them back from meaningful personal growth and progressing our spiritual path.
These ego traps are easy to get wrapped up in, but they are not a sign of weakness or failure. The experience of being an empath is often intense and confusing. These ego-traps offer lessons for us that often go hand-in-hand with life as an empath.
Some of the typical empath ego-traps are as follows:
Empaths Always Know Best
Assuming we are always right about how we ‘read’ a situation or person, or needing to save everyone and be everybody’s ‘therapist.’ We may have a good read that something is amiss, or that someone is upset, but its unwise to assume we always know exactly why.
Often empaths will feel something from someone and decide for themselves why that person is feeling that way. This is a good way to create conflict and tension in relationships! Instead of assuming, rather ask.
And if the person doesn’t want to talk about it, try assuming it is not about you, and that maybe you have no idea what is really upsetting them. Start there. Give the person space and do not make it about you. Continue reading
Being An Empath Is No Excuse
There’s nothing wrong with identifying as an empath. Actually, it can be beneficial to step into this truth for oneself, and own your empathic experiences as a significant aspect of your life.
But for many people it is difficult to take on this ‘label,’ because they don’t feel worthy or they feel they are saying, “I’m more special than other people.” In these cases, there is great benefit in coming to terms with being an empath because it doesn’t have to mean either of those things.
Being an empath is not something they have to be worthy of – it’s a trait they either have or don’t have. And it’s not a matter of being better or ‘more special’ than anyone else – that notion comes from a fear of being judged.
Being an empath means being highly sensitive to emotional energies, and feeling those emotions in your own body as if they were your own. The term ‘empath’ is just a word we can use to describe this trait.
There is some scientific evidence for the empath experience. Studies* show we all have a very specific group of cells in our brain responsible for empathy and compassion, called the Mirror Neuron System. In the brain of highly empathic people, it is thought this group of cells may be hyperactive or hypersensitive.
Being an empath is a wonderful blessing and gift, instead of it being a ‘curse,’ weakness or disability. However, it is important for the empath to become empowered and own their sensitivity.
In order to accomplish this, it is vital for the empath to avoid adopting a ‘victim mentality’ or constantly blaming everything negative that happened in their life on the fact that they are an empath.
Some empaths erroneously believe many of the struggles they encounter can’t be overcome. They assume that they will always be crippled in some way by their experience as an empath. This is false. They may have specific experiences and lessons because they’re an empath, but these are opportunities for growth. Some of the ways this manifests are:
Belief Is The Key To Manifesting
Is there something you want to happen, or something you desire, want or need? Put it out to the Universe as a request for what you want to happen in your life. But the key is to believe. If you do not believe it can happen for you, it most likely will not happen…because you are standing in the way of it happening.
Many people sabotage their own manifesting process because they do not believe they deserve to be happy. I have seen this happen so many times. But everyone deserves to be happy.
Things can change in your life. You just need to set the intention, take some practical steps to make it happen, and most of all trust the process and believe.
When you are in alignment with the abundance of the Universe and you trust that it will provide for you always, then it all starts to fall into place. Manifesting begins and ends with believing in the laws of the Universe.
For manifesting to truly work one must have the sincere, unquestioning faith of a child. Young children have the uncanny ability to wholeheartedly believe even the most impossible things!
If we had just a little more of the open-minded belief of children, our lives would be so much happier and more fulfilled. It is not about being naïve, but about being open and accepting.
If we do not trust the Universe to provide for us, we tend to repeat the same mistakes time and again. Instead of setting a clear intention for what they want to be different or better in their life, many people we just keep on manifesting the same old energy repeatedly.
For example, they break up with someone who they felt was not right for them, but then they start dating someone else who is exactly the same. They continue in the same pattern and repeat the cycle of continuous heartbreak, over and over – instead of saying I want to be with someone who treats me better, and work towards that.
How To Maintain A Healthy Aura
The aura is an emanation surrounding the body of a living creature; it is viewed as the essence of the individual and discernible by people with special sensibilities. Although most children can see them, it’s getting them to tell you what they see that’s the problem, especially, if they don’t know their colors.
Auras have a spectrum of colors that can be photographed with special equipment. Most people believe that auras are intangible. They don’t realize that the health of one’s aura can easily be monitored and sustained healthily. Just as one monitors your blood pressure or insulin levels. Even though you can’t see your aura doesn’t mean it isn’t there. We can’t see radio waves or x-rays, yet we still know they exist. If you want to monitor the health of your aura you must rely on an aura reading by someone capable of seeing them. Fortunately, there are techniques we can use to maintain a healthy aura.
It is a misconception to think that an extended aura is a good thing. An overextended aura brings about many health problems. Aches, pains, insomnia to name a few. An overextended aura also can leave one vulnerable to negative energies. I was always taught that when someone drinks or uses drugs, it in a sense, blows big holes in ones aura. This allows these negative forces to attach themselves to you and work through you.
Have you ever lived with an alcoholic? Or know someone who is a drug addict? Have you ever noticed how they change when they are drinking or drunk? Certain drugs and alcohol lowers the inhibitions. Thus, allowing such entities to take control. Ever notice, when someone is under the influence, their voice changes and often times, so does the color of their eyes. They become violent or abusive. They may become promiscuous, while normally they are more reserved.
Our Deepest Wound Can Become Our Greatest Power
Mercury retrograde thankfully ends today! Astrologers predicted this retrograde would allow us the freedom to purify our lives by releasing people, circumstances, and behaviors that are holding us back or no longer serve us. It certainly kicked up a lot of old wounds and baggage for many of my clients, and also for myself.
This was probably due to a number of reasons, including Uranus and Venus both being retrograde at the same time, and the combination of Mercury retrograde occurring along with a Full Moon in Cancer on January 17th. Many people I did readings for during this astrological period were all dealing with painful memories, unhealed traumas, and intense emotions.
At one point I decided to take a break myself, to create some space and allow my own unresolved emotion to surface. Every time I found becoming unnecessarily defensive, or attempting to place blame on others, I immediately pivoted my attention back to myself and ventured within – to where the origination of this pain truly stemmed from.
I especially found my thoughts were constantly going to my parents and particularly to my mother. My maternal grandmother passed away when my mom was only 13 years old. This has been a recurring theme throughout my life, with me wondering if this had anything to do with my mom always being so hard on me? I, fact, it became the official ‘excuse’ for our difficult relationship.
My recent retrograde self-exploration made me realize that no matter how hard my brain might try to rationalize this old pain, my body still would not accept it. For the first time in all these years, I finally allowed myself to go inside this wound, to examine my inner truth. I had a conversation with this old wound and allowed it to speak to me directly.
Just Existing, Not Living?
Do you ever feel like you’re existing and not actually living? Well, guess what? You’re not alone. I think at some point in our lives we all do, especially after everything we have endured over the past two years.
In these difficult times, we worry about our health and safety, money, career paths and choices, the perfect house, the perfect partner or spouse.
Our children. Have we raised them right? Or, have we spoiled them? If you don’t know yet…two year olds grow up and teenagers grow out of it!
All of the above are legitimate concerns. But at some point we need to remember to worry only about the things we can control.
Stop focusing so much time and energy on the things you cannot control. All it brings us are toxic thought patterns, an anxious heart and a restless soul. Once we have learned to give all of that up, life seems a tiny bit easier.
There is a famous saying: “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” How very true. You can fixate on all the frustrations, promise yourself that you’ll do this and that, or feel better once you get to wherever – but it doesn’t necessarily work that way. Because it’s easier to think about what you’d rather do, than to just going out and doing it.
What Are Your Snapshots For The Year Ahead?
What does the future have in store for me? It’s a valid question after all the upheaval of life during the past two years. In fact this question is on so many minds at present, including my own.
The last two years have been difficult for most, if not all of us. We have all suffered loss, grief, stress, frustration, and anxiety. Regardless of what your personal views and beliefs may be regarding this difficult time in the world, what does matter is where you are mentally and spiritually at this moment.
This weekend may be a good time to recenter, align and ground your energy. Take some time out from all the mayhem today and do some meditation, prayer, visualization, or breath-work. Allow God, Source, Spirit, the Universe to fill you with positive energy, light and blessings, and release the negative thoughts and anxieties you may be holding on to.
Also, take some time to calmly contemplate and make a list of your goals, wishes, desires and dreams for the year ahead. Or better yet, create a vision board, manifesting box, or journal. Cut out pictures from old magazines, copy positive affirmations, and collect some trinkets to place on a board, in a box, or in a scrapbook.
Once it is complete, place your board, box or book somewhere in your home or office where you can look at it often. Take a little time every day to focus on it and ask yourself what each goal, wish or intention you have added to it truly means to you.
I have a brochure of new camera with a special lens on my vision board for this year. When I ask myself what it represents to me, I remind myself that my new dream camera sees the beauty in our world through a magical lens. It will bring out the brightest of colors. and the most beautiful scenery. It will also capture the vitality and magnificence of all my spirit totems (mostly eagles, red tail hawk, owls, sand hill cranes).