inner child
Are You Stuck In Victim Mode?
We all have had at least one very bad experience in our lives: a twist of fate, a major setback, an intense trauma, a tragic loss. In these moments of extreme adversity, we are usually victims of circumstances beyond our control.
But these challenging life events typically serve a higher purpose. Everything happens for a reason. It is therefore vital that we gather whatever hard-earned wisdom, personal growth or self-empowerment we possibly can from such experiences. If we do not, our suffering would have been in vain.
We can only accomplish this if we get up, dust ourselves off, find resilience within, and courageously begin to move forward.
Sadly, some people tend to become stuck in victim mode long after these experiences. This obviously does not promote their personal growth and well-being, nor does it improve or change their life for better. On the contrary, as long as we remain trapped in a victim mentality, the negative life experience will have served no purpose and the hardship we suffered will have been in vain.
All the challenges, lessons and trials in our life are invitations and opportunities for us to grow and expand. This is true transformation. Easy lives are meaningless lives.
Now, we are sometimes allowed to complain and say ‘life sucks,’ because from at times we also get caught up in the learning and transformation processes of other people. However, we are also allowed to consciously reject that. We are not required to take on the lessons of others.
Always Regain Your Karmic Composure
When we lose our composure and get very upset or angry, it is never a dealbreaker for spirit. It is only if we completely give up and do not learn from our transgressions that our guides, angels and loved ones in spirit may raise a ‘disapproving brow.’
If we lost your cool or stepped out of line, the key is to seek out the next right thing to do make amends for our messy indiscretions. Maybe it’s picking up a lost piece of mail in the post office parking lot and placing that into the delivery bin, so that it will find its destination. Or maybe it’s feeding the homeless person who is always sitting outside your local store. Or listening with an empathetic ear to a distant relative who has suffered a lot in their life recently.
Even doing an anonymous prayer or sending healing to someone will always be welcome. Whatever your clearance path is, be sure to untie those etheric karmic cords of your recent negative emotional responses and unkind actions, and make things right!
As a spiritually aware person, I will be the first to admit that I too have my ‘moments.’ If one is still dealing with unhealed trauma, shadow work and the clearing certain energy blockages, it is inevitable that frustration, irritation and anger can happen.
Every day, when I do my Epsom salt baths, I make the best attempt I can to clear such emotional energies, but it remains a work in progress. In fact, it seems like the process will never end.
Nothing Tastes Sweeter Than Gratitude
During the holidays, most homes and businesses have their festive lights and decorations up. One of the parking lots in my neighborhood is currently featuring a flamboyant set of beautiful red lights that really struck me as I was driving by the other day. In fact, it caused a strong emotional reaction within me.
Now, what might be so profound or special about a display of red Christmas lights, you may wonder. It is, after all, a typical holiday decoration seen everywhere this time of year. So, what’s the big deal? Well, those lights set me off so much because it brought back precious memories of my childhood.
I grew up in a very small town in New Brunswick, Canada. My family struggled and we were very poor. However, that did not prevent my parents from ensuring that we still enjoyed a few rare luxuries and treats on special occasions.
The most memorable of these were the “barley toys,” as we used to call them. Every Christmas, it was the tradition for each of us to receive a packet of barley toys. Now, this has nothing to do with actual toys. Instead, a barley toy is a kind of clear sugar lollipop or sucker shaped like a toy. These translucent, glass-like candies traditionally come in whimsical shapes, including various animals, as well as ships, trains, cars and, of course, Santa Clause.
According to the Startup Candy Factory in Provo, Utah, one of the earliest clear toy candy makers in the United States, German immigrants brought this holiday tradition to America and original recipes for it can be traced back to the 1700s. It was originally called “barley candy,” because cane sugar was very scarce at the time, so early candy makers used the cheaper and more readily available barley sugar.
Explore Your Inner Shadows With Your Soul Light
To achieve true spiritual growth, happiness, and fulfillment it is necessary for us to unravel the shadows of our inner being. To know oneself is to recognize both your light and darkness, and to love and accept your entirety. The truly awakened person is not afraid to look at their own flaws, wounds, pain, trauma, and shortcomings. Awakened people boldly face their inner darkness and know themselves deeply.
The key to finding your authentic truth is to unbolt the door to one’s mysterious psychic basement. It’s the courage to honestly question how well your life is going, including the fulfilment of your passion and purpose, the success of your plans and projects, the health and happiness of your relationships and family, and the bravery of your dreams.
True spiritual growth is the search for truth beyond the surface. It is to boldly plunge the depths our being. It is to leap up to our highest peaks and crawl deep into our darkest corners. Because only once we have fully opened the doors of our interior, can we begin to affect change, growth and personal transformation.
By confronting our inner mysteries we acquire freedom, wisdom, and access to a new way of beingness. We become reborn, renewed, empowered. A conscious spiritual warrior in command of our powers, gifts, and capabilities.
But how to achieve this breakthrough? The first step is to welcome, embrace, accept, and cherish the scars and wounds. Then, we investigate its origins, to find the root of what has been influencing our life towards victimhood, self-limitation, self-sabotage, or repeated self-destruction.
Only You Can Heal A Recurring Emotional Injury
We are all negatively impacted at times by certain events or people causing us emotional hurt and trauma.
If this is something that is currently weighing on your mind and you feel emotionally injured or overwhelmed today, then the following strategies may help you to overcome the recent setback you suffered.
Not only can these three steps help you to better deal with your current emotional injury, but it can also bring about lasting positive change in your life.
Step 1: Feeling Through
It is vital to process negative emotions. You should never try to suppress or repress unpleasant feelings. It is important that you allow yourself to fully feel your current emotion. Don’t think or rationalize, just feel.
Let the tears of sadness flow, lean into the fear or anxious feelings, or embrace the anger and disappointed. To process and ultimately resolve these feelings, we must first truly feel them.
However, do not spend too much time in this stage of the process. Truly feeling your negative emotions does not mean you must obsess over it or constantly dwell on it. A few hours, or at most a day or two, then let it go! Do not let it drag on for weeks or months, because this will not heal you and will only have a counterproductive effect. After the one-time ‘feeling through’, it is time to move on to the next stage.
The Courage To Rescue Your Inner Child
Many people wish they had better memories of their childhood. For some the traumatic experiences of their youth is something they would much rather forget. But spirit has shown me that each piece of our life happens for a reason.
Learning to overcome and rise above the negative events in our life enables us to grow and expand. We do not get to pick and choose the parts we like, and discard the rest in the deepest closet of our mind. We become an empowered, improved version of ourselves when we find healing and forgiveness by redeeming even the worst parts of our life experience.
We all matter. We all bring unique gifts to this world. No matter what has happened to us, we must rescue every lost or damaged moment of our life journey. Those tragic events and awful experiences are what molds us into who we are today and who we are meant to become.
Nobody chooses some the things that might happen to them: family dysfunction, separation, divorce, rivalry, abuse, loss, death. As children we often blame ourselves for the things that happen around us, or we block it out, never wanting to remember it again. But this only means that you have left a part of yourself behind in the darkness of the past. But now that you are older and wiser, wouldn’t it be awesome if you could go back and save that part of you?
As a little girl I loved horses and dogs, but we could not afford to keep any. I made up for it by drawing them. My parents could also not afford to buy me expensive drawing paper, so I had to wait until my mom returned from the grocery store, because I would then get the used brown paper bags to draw on. It may seem somewhat silly, but to this day I still buy lots of paper whenever I get the chance! One would think there was going to be a shortage on paper, based on how I tend to stock up.
Our Deepest Wound Can Become Our Greatest Power
Mercury retrograde thankfully ends today! Astrologers predicted this retrograde would allow us the freedom to purify our lives by releasing people, circumstances, and behaviors that are holding us back or no longer serve us. It certainly kicked up a lot of old wounds and baggage for many of my clients, and also for myself.
This was probably due to a number of reasons, including Uranus and Venus both being retrograde at the same time, and the combination of Mercury retrograde occurring along with a Full Moon in Cancer on January 17th. Many people I did readings for during this astrological period were all dealing with painful memories, unhealed traumas, and intense emotions.
At one point I decided to take a break myself, to create some space and allow my own unresolved emotion to surface. Every time I found becoming unnecessarily defensive, or attempting to place blame on others, I immediately pivoted my attention back to myself and ventured within – to where the origination of this pain truly stemmed from.
I especially found my thoughts were constantly going to my parents and particularly to my mother. My maternal grandmother passed away when my mom was only 13 years old. This has been a recurring theme throughout my life, with me wondering if this had anything to do with my mom always being so hard on me? I, fact, it became the official ‘excuse’ for our difficult relationship.
My recent retrograde self-exploration made me realize that no matter how hard my brain might try to rationalize this old pain, my body still would not accept it. For the first time in all these years, I finally allowed myself to go inside this wound, to examine my inner truth. I had a conversation with this old wound and allowed it to speak to me directly.