darkness
Rediscovering The Untouched Soul
Our soul is always a clean slate when we are born. Knowing this and living accordingly is true spirituality. However, the virgin territory of our soul is often more or less blemished or darkened due to many traumas and challenges throughout our lifetime.
Along our life path, we often lose much of the spiritual innocence we had as children. Instead, we begin to dwell in shadows of darkness in various forms: indifference to the destiny of others, confinement in our own; laziness, vanity, greed, envy, violence, hatred.
None of us can deny having at times dark thoughts or toxic emotions, malicious habits or selfish behaviors. However, no matter how widespread and ingrained the darkness may become in us, it is also certain that something immaculate always persists in some corner of our inner being. Even if it is tiny, there is an eternal point of light within where our higher self always remains pure and original. The sacred we carry within cannot be defiled.
As much as life may have made us callous or cynical, we always have this sacred stronghold inside. Herein lies the hope of those who practice spirituality: to reach that virgin point and rediscover in it one’s original nature.
This original nature, pure and innocent, we have sometimes forgotten to such an extent that we need someone or something to remind us to look inside ourselves to rediscover who we truly are.
We sometimes need someone to explain that we suffer because we have stopped believing in purity, beauty and what is good. We need someone to remind us that our deepest identity is virginal and fruitful, empty and full, both things, however contradictory this may seem.
My Near-Death Experience
About 12 years ago, right before Christmas, I had a lot going on in my life. I was taking care of my two kids and my brother. My cousin had a three-month-old baby, whose mother was in the hospital with complications due to diabetes. He brought me his new baby and asked if they could stay with us, and if I could care for his son while he worked. He was working the night shift, from around 7pm till 4am. Of course, I said I would help in any way I could.
Between my kids’ and my brother’s schedules, and now this new baby who was colicy, I was exhausted at the end of the second week. Somehow, I also got food poisoning. Never having had food poisoning before, I didn’t know the symptoms and thought I had a touch of stomach flu. Being so tired, I hadn’t realized how sick I actually was. After about 18 hours of fluid loss, I become so dehydrated that I had a seizure. My eyes rolled into the back of my head and I fell down. Apparently, I was clinically dead for around 1½ minutes.
I did not experience all of the typical near-death phenomena. There was not any floating over my body; there was no white light, no tunnel. I was simply here and then I was there. The first thing I remember is walking along a sort of grassy path. I don’t remember turning around to look behind me, but, I just knew that there was a darkness from which I came, back there.
There were two people there to greet me. A woman and a man, the woman spoke to me first, and the man was a little ways behind her. Today, I could not tell you who these people were. But, when I was there, I was so glad to see them. It was like when I had sent my kids to summer camp, and they were gone for all those summer months, and I missed them terribly. It was the same feeling I got when seeing my children for the first time returning home. I had a deep love and bond with these two people.
The next thing I remember is that I was taken to the top of a mountain. There was no journey to get there, I was just there. The only way to describe the mountain is that it was like standing on top of Pikes Peak and looking out. I was so high up that the only thing I could see was blue sky.
The What-ifs That Go Bump In The Night
When I grow up, I want to be a lightworker! Okay, so I’ve grown up and I’ve been a psychic and healer for many years. The question now is, how do I take back, or erase from my mind’s eye all that I’ve seen? ‘Wounded healer, heal thyself’ is a very old truth, which still holds merit after many years of being bandied about.
Perhaps today it is more true than ever. In today’s world we are dealing with much more fear and what-ifs than ever before in our lifetime. Someone, or something, somewhere – the news media for one – is always preying on our fears. Panic and perpetual fear is the name of the game for many in our world these days.
Psychics, astrologers, mediums, diviners, and energy healers, among other, are known by the universal term ‘lightworkers.’ This is ironic, considering we often have to delve into the darkest fears of most people head-first, in order to help our fellow humans come to some form of clarity, healing or conclusion.
And what happens when the lightworker’s battery begins to fade from overuse and not enough recharging? Can helping other people face their fears make our own fears and limiting beliefs become larger by proxy, thus causing our own light to dim?
Lightworkers are born healers and teachers. At our core we want to help everyone. We know that inner peace comes from within. However, some of our clients are open to guidance, while others are not. Maybe I only speak for myself as a healer, but those who refuse guidance often haunt me far longer than those who embrace it. They are the ones who keep me up at night. They are the ones who make me doubt and question what I know in my heart to be true, based on my ability to listen to a Higher Power and relay messages spirit wants to share.
Face your fears, I tell myself. Even as a wounded healer, I must continue to face my self-doubt and remember to look upon the bright side: the countless souls whose lives I have been blessed to change and help make into something brighter, better and more fulfilling.
There Are Silver Linings In These Difficult Times
I remember my mom used to say that nothing good can ever come from something bad. While I fully understand her rationale, today I respectfully beg to differ. Even the darkest clouds can have the brightest silver linings!
Like most people, you are probably also sick and tired by now of reading, hearing and talking about Covid-19. However, this pandemic is a perfect example of how we can derive something good from something that has proven to be so incredibly challenging.
Of course, these benefits do come at an extremely high cost and we would all have preferred not to have this calamity happen in the first place. Even so, there are also blessings in every curse. The coronavirus pandemic appears to have at least had the following beneficial effects on making our world a better place.
Environment
During lockdown, nitrogen levels is said to have dropped significantly and experts say this may have resulted in a healthier planet, although the long-term effect remains to be seen. Nitrogen pollution is believed to be detrimental to our water quality, the quality of the air we breathe, the health of ecosystems, and biodiversity.
Apparently, for the first time in years, clean water ran through the Venetian canals, Delhi enjoyed blue skies, and the air quality in China improved considerably. Not only that, reports suggest that the quality of air around the globe has also improved and in some places wild animals were roaming wildly and freely in their natural habitat.
Industry
Covid-19 has also revolutionized how many of us work and will continue to work in the future. Many working people have experienced the benefits of working from home. For one, there is less commuter stress, less money spent on fuel and other expenses, and more time for family and home life. Estimates suggest that people working from home will be financially better off by doing so. In addition, many of us can now enjoy an enhanced work-life balance by being more in control of our working hours.
The Miracle Of Automatic Handwriting
Growing up in a psychic family, I was constantly among adults who were seeing ghosts and reading people’s eyes. But I always wanted to be different than the other psychics in my family.
I guess that is one of the reasons why I began reading ordinary playing cards, instead of the Tarot. But I wanted to experiment even further, and in time I also discovered that I could open up the flood gates with automatic hand writing.
I have to be very careful, because when you use automatic writing it can be like opening a can of worms. Each time I do this I make sure beforehand that my mind is calm and clear. I also see to it that I have lots of blank paper, because you can use a lot of paper in one session.
I also have to make sure that when I did connect with a spirit it was indeed from the Light. After some of the things I have witnessed in my life, I certainly do not want to invite any evil spirit or any other dark entity that could harm my family or me.
I remember my very first time I was very skeptical of doing automatic writing; I asked, “Are you with the Light?” A simple question. The only answer I received was a straight line. I was not very happy or impressed. That was it? Just a straight line? My second time it was not bad, because the pen wrote the word yes. It kind of freaked me out at the time.
I knew I needed to practice more. So, I put more hours into it and the more often I did it, the better I became. I would even try it while playing music. Eventually, I was ready to try this together with the cards. This is not a traditional method, but like I said, I wanted to be different. The first time I placed the cards face down and then did the automatic writing first, to see what it would say. The first word that came through was “baby”. Next was the word “girl” and then “candy.”
Faith Is My Armor Of Light
When I had just completed high school, I decided it was time to venture out into the world, get an apartment and just experience living all on my own. So, one month after graduation, I let my butterfly wings soar and found a little place about a few blocks from where I grew up.
One night something happened I will never forget, even though it was 30 years ago. I remember it like it was yesterday. Someone brought over an Ouija board! I was brought up to believe that the Ouija board is a portal to the lower realm and negative energies, and that sometimes who you want to connect with isn’t always who actually comes through. My friends and I asked the board who we were talking to and his name was George.
The part that really creeped me out came later, after everyone had gone home. I was cleaning up. My apartment was on the third floor and as I was looking down at the four corner intersection below, there was a car sitting under the street light. An older, bald man rolled the window down and leaned over to look up at me through the passenger window. “I’m George”, he said. I was so creeped out!
My roommate was gone and I was exhausted, but I couldn’t sleep. Lying in my bed later, I was trying to make sense of it all. I looked across the room and the light coming in through the blinds made it so I could see the hallway and the doorway. And there I suddenly saw the shape of a man; the figure of a man that was so dark, but you could totally make out it was a man standing right there in the doorway! I will never forget his voice. “I will never leave you, nor forsake you”, he said. Amazingly, I felt immediately comforted.
The church I grew up in was directly across from my new apartment. And I just knew that he was an angel, letting me know that through my faith I am protected. I was never again scared to be by myself.
Keep Your Home Safe From Toxic Energy
Your house is your sacred space. It is hallowed ground. It is the place where you and your loved ones regenerate, and find renewed strength and inner peace. For this reason, the energy in your home must be kept healthy and clean.
Some people believe it is okay to temporarily allow toxic people and other sources of negative energy into their homes, and then try to meditate, pray or smudge it away with sage later on, when it becomes a problem. I do not recommend this approach.
It is not always that simple or easy to get rid of negative energy. It tends to linger, especially when it is very aggressive, or has an extremely low, dark vibration. It may require a lot of repetitive spiritual cleansing work, and your firm intention, to be properly dealt with.
I used to take in people in need, who temporarily needed a refuge or safe haven. But I learned a difficult lesson. While I had the best intentions, and my heart was in the right place, I wasn’t actually helping them. Most of them only went on to damage my property, steal my belongings, or hurt my feelings in some way. All of them somehow took advantage of me. And they always left my house, and my heart, in a mess.
These days I will donate, advise, offer a ride, or even a shoulder to cry on. But no one comes into my home anymore, especially since I started having children. My home is now sacred, holy territory. And I keep the energy pure in every possible way.