inner child
Honoring Our Fathers And Forefathers
In our youth we easily forget to honor those fathers and father-figures who love and guide us. As we grow older, and hopefully wiser, some of us begin to realize that our fathers are the unsung heroes we never appreciated much. If we are one of the lucky ones, they were our champions growing up.
Always stalwart and steady, no matter what was going on around them or preying on their minds. How often must they have ended their day wondering whether they were doing enough for their families and what the future might hold?
After the fact, sometimes they openly share the worries, fears and insecurities that became all too real in times of crisis, but these challenges were carefully hidden from us, so as not to frighten us.
For those of us who have fathers who fought in wars for our freedom, we owe a great debt of gratitude. These courageous men who may have been terrified in the face of grave danger, fought bravely for their beliefs and the safety of their families. Many were lost or injured. Most returned home, greatly changed. And yet, we rarely heard about the realities of war, or their sacrifices.
Striking a balance between strength and vulnerability is a never-ending work in progress. Blessed is the man who finds his equilibrium with a calm, cool demeanor in the midst of the chaos that surrounds them. Blessed also are the children who call him “Dad.”
To the men who have acted as leaders and mentors to many protégés, perhaps without even knowing it, a great deal is owed. Whether it has been through leadership in business, teaching in schools, or volunteering in communities, many have no idea how deeply they have affected those whose lives they have touched, even peripherally.
The Extraordinary Treasure Of The Ordinary
It is unfortunate that so often tend to take the ordinary for granted. Ordinary things that we do not consider unusual or special is seldom something we excited about. But the very things that one person might consider ordinary, is a magical treasure to another.
When I was about six years old, I remember being at the ocean looking at some beach roses, when a butterfly landed on one of the roses right in front of me. Even at that age, I intuitively knew this was somehow a special and significant sign. My dearly departed grandmother used to love beach roses and butterflies. I did not know it at the time, but right then and there these two things became my future mediumship symbols for someone’s grandmother in spirit.
I thought it was the most beautiful butterfly I had seen in my young life! I was excited to have my sister see and experience the beauty of it, so I called her over. To my surprise she shrugged and said, “No big deal. I see butterflies like that all the time.”
Her cynical reaction took some of the joy out of the experience for me at the time. At that young age, my older sister’s opinion on things mattered a great deal to me. But I have grown wiser over the years.
Later in life, I could not help but wonder why my sister did not see the world as I did in those days? The answer that eventually came to me was that it is all in the timing. It is about what is going on in our life at a given moment in time. One day we may look at things a certain way and not really see them as beautiful or anything special, while on another day we might be thrilled and amazed by the exact same things.
For example, we frequently travel the coastal road in my area. One day last summer, at the height of the pandemic, we were slowly driving along this road. with no rush to be anywhere at a designated time. Normally we would be in a hurry to get somewhere, but due to Covid-19 there was nowhere urgent where we needed to be.
A Sincere Apology Is Good For The Soul
One of the most difficult things in life is knowing when to apologize. It is obvious in some situations, but in others not so much. There are times when we need to weigh out all our options. Is the situation worth an apology, even if you are not the one who created a problem?
Knowing the right time to apologize is critical to the resolution. Was it done intentionally, or was it unintentional? Did the action cause others stress, worry, or pain?
You must also ask yourself if you can live without apologizing the rest of your life. Is it worth losing a friendship, leaving a group, resigning from a job, or not speaking to a family member ever again?
The good old Golden Rule can always come in handy in this dilemma. If you have done something that you would not want done to you, then apologize and seek atonement! Many people find it almost impossible to apologize. They struggle to acknowledge their own part in an argument or wrongdoing.
Some just do not seem to understand their actions were unacceptable, or they always feel that the world is out to get them. There is no compromise in their mind. They always try to twist every situation to make it seem like it is another person’s fault.
For some people, on the other hand, an apology seems to roll off their tongue a little too easily. When a sincere apology is made it must be followed by actions. Actions speak louder than words. By not repeating the offense, for example, it shows a true and sincere apology.
Sometimes all the other person needs to hear is a sincere, “I am sorry.” When we accept responsibility for our actions, we tell others we are sorry for hurting them. It is not always easy, but releasing guilt always is good for the soul.
My Great Grandmother’s Mysterious ‘Sugar Cookies’
My great grandmother made incredible cookies. She called them “sugar cookies,” but perhaps a more appropriate name for them might have been mysterious mystical magic cookies! Everyone loved them – youngsters like myself, as well as our family’s elders, and every age in-between.
Those cookies still bring back so many wonderful memories. They had a special aroma of freshly-baked delight that wafted all the way outside her kitchen window and down the lane beside her charming little home, where she lived with my great grandfather. As a child I couldn’t wait to get to their house, so that I could partake of those delectable sweet treats.
They were round, but not perfectly round. They had that authentic homemade look, which made them even more exquisite to my childlike enthusiasm. And, there was a rather unique spiciness among the ingredients; it was a spice that I had never tasted before in anything else. Oh, my! I especially loved the barely charred edges they usually had, as a result of leaving them in the oven a bit longer than necessary. Those crisp little edges made them all the tastier to me.
I remember sitting at her kitchen table, watching her scoop up the ingredients, one by one, and adding them to her mixing bowl. I didn’t know how much of each ingredient she was using, because she never used a measuring cup. She just knew how much to add of everything. I believe this style of instinctively cooking from scratch is practically becoming a lost art, with all the digital recipes and modern utensils we use nowadays to cook even the simplest of things. And perhaps some of the true character and originality has also been lost in many of our ancestors’ recipes.
Let’s Make The Most Of This Gift Of Time
There is a cheesy saying, “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” It may be somewhat cheesy, but it is a brilliant metaphor. You still have those lemons. They are still terribly sour and inedible. But now you’ve added your own sweetness to them.
In recent months we have all suddenly been presented with a sometimes overwhelming new paradigm. Many of us are spending more time at home. Before the pandemic, many of us often wondered where our time went? If we only had more time!
This is especially true for those of us with young children. I have often said I feel like I only have 10-hour-days to fit everything into, including sleep, since my children were born.
It’s interesting to talk to my clients who are currently still going in to work, and often stressed for time, as compared to those clients who are fortunate to work from home, or have a reduced work schedule, or are currently unemployed. They are like parallel universes.
If you currently have the gift of time on your hands, make good use of it. It will lessen your depression and anxiety, and it will help you to think of this unusual time in our lives, which is only temporary, with more fondness and sentimentality. With the internet, so many options are open to us, and the possibilities are endless. Before all of this, I even learned how to crochet and knit online! I am now a very proud intermediate crocheter… and novice knitter.
Spiritual Attachment And Detachment
The physical world is not the only realm in which some of us struggle with issues of detachment (alienation), or attachment (codependency). The same holds true in the spirit realms.
If we experience spiritual attachment, this usually happens as a result of an addictive personality. In life, one could be addicted to unhealthy relationships, various substances, shopping, food, and so on. The driving force behind all of these is basically the same – the attempt to fill a perceived void with a substitute.
This inclination can then lead to the presence of negative spirit attachments with addictive energies. Perhaps the spirit entity had the same kind of addiction when it was in physical form, and still needs to experience that ‘high.’
When this happens, the victim in the physical world, to whom the spirit entity has attached itself, may become more stubborn and in denial over the need to change their habits. Many friends and family members who have had to deal with addicts, will tell you that addiction changed their loved one’s personality. From a spiritual perspective this is very true.
Spiritual detachment, on the other hand, happens when someone is the victim of abuse or trauma. A part of themselves ‘detaches’ or becomes distant from their core self, which may unintentionally invite a more powerful spirit presence to enter, to ‘protect’ or ‘guide’ the victim. Aristotle’s phrase ‘nature abhors a vacuum’ comes to mind. It means every space or void in nature always needs to be filled with something. The same holds true in the spirit realm.