memories
The Importance Of Self-Trust
Of all the relationships in our life, none is more complicated or important than the one we have with self. And the cornerstone of this relationship is self-trust. Unfortunately, it is easy to damage the trust we place in ourselves. Why? Because all of us have or will make choices and decisions that don’t produce the desired outcome.
A relationship fails and we blame or question ourselves; a job opportunity eludes us; or a friendship fractures beyond repair. We lose self-trust when we don’t achieve a goal, whatever that goal may be. Then we may begin to question our own abilities, our dreams, and our worthiness to have them manifest in our life.
Every time we replay an event we label a failure the doubt in our own judgment and our self-worth increases. Self-confidence stems from self-trust, so the cycle can be a vicious one.
So, how can we repair self-trust? First, decide to give yourself a break. You made what you believed to be the best decision or choice in the moment. If you are saying, “No, I didn’t, I know I should have done…,” then stop and choose to forgive yourself for not trusting your instincts in that moment. Holding a grudge against yourself only assures that the pattern will repeat.
Next, decide to honor your emotions. If you have made choices and decisions that you perceive as a failure, then the tendency is to begin to substitute the opinions of others over our own intuition, desires and dreams. This pattern can lead to co-dependency, confusion and fear. Self-trust is harnessed when we follow our sacred wisdom, instead of looking outside ourselves to provide inner peace.
The Haunting That Still Haunts
Have you ever experienced something that was so scary you just couldn’t forget about it? No matter how many years have passed you still can’t get it out of your mind? I have had several such terrifying experiences in my life. Try as I might, I just simply can’t forget about those occurrences.
I can’t forget for example, about the time I experienced severe sleep paralysis. It was frightening beyond measure. I also can’t forget the feeling I got one time that I had to leave the place where I was living, and that I had to leave now. Later that week I discovered that the person I was sharing living space with, had been murdered. So, if your intuition tells to get out of an environment, listen to it!
Another experience that I will never forget had to do with a Ouija board. It was several decades ago. My friends and I were dabbling with one. We asked for a spirit entity to come through and we did make contact with someone… or something. It made the people I was with very scared, so they all left. But I continued to play with the board on my own, and when I asked what the spirit’s name was, and it spelled out the name Ralph.
I asked Ralph what he did in life and he said that he had owned a farm, which was on the land where I was living at the time. He also revealed that many animals had died on that land, because there had been a terrible plague and a shortage of medicine that could save them. After he lost his cattle, he built a home which ended up burning down to the ground. So, there had been a lot of suffering occurring on that piece of land.
I later did some research and found out that there had in fact been a farm on that property long ago. I also did a ritual to help the spirits of the farmer and his animals find peace. I blessed the land and burned lots of sage.
Loser-Victims And Their Helpers
If you grow up receiving a lot of ‘negative attention’ you are taught that love feels and sounds like being told (or shown) that you are always wrong, slow, stupid, annoying, useless, not worth the time and energy, not lovable, and never, ever, good enough. This means that as a child, you would only receive attention when you were told that you were doing things wrong, or that you were a ‘loser.’ This early patterning gets imprinted in the still developing neural pathways of a child.
If you grew up receiving a lot of negative attention, as an adult your way of ‘winning’ in life, and your way of feeling accepted and loved, is to seek negative attention… and turn yourself into a loser and victim.
Someone who has been raised in this manner, tend to insert themselves into the lives of people they think matter to them. They target people who seem important to them and whose opinions matter. They will then consistently create situations where they can be the loser. They will always be the one that is ‘slow,’ the one that ‘can’t be helped,’ or the one with poor social skills.
Change Is A Spiritual Blessing
Changes can happen at any time in your life. It is often spontaneous, but it can also be triggered by major life events, such as the loss of a partner, spouse, or anyone that you love or care about. Whatever it may be, change is what we’re hit with in these times, and it can be so scary.
We often fear change or moving on. We enjoy changing our environment or lifestyle, or letting go of the memories, but change also has so many possibilities! Sometimes it’s actually what you have been waiting for, but we hold ourselves back.
No matter how much you try to avoid it, or fear it, change is constantly taking place in and around us. Our souls are always evolving, whether we want it to, or not. We must embrace this and open ourselves to it, because change can be very positive. For example, when you know that you must leave a bad relationship, because it is toxic, or when you need to move out of a home to downsize, because it makes better financial sense.
Starting over, making new friends, being happy, this is all part of change. Sometimes we have to learn to let go of things, to have more meaning and happiness in our lives. No one should ever force you into change against your free will, but many of us also try to prevent change from happening, keeping things the way they are, because it is convenient. But then they don’t grow personally, neither do they spiritually evolve.
Memorialize Loved Ones With A Remembrance Table
I have a remembrance table in my home where I display framed pictures of my grandparents, as well as some of the possessions they passed on to me. My eclectic collection also includes a few candles, angel figurines, some essential oils, Grandma’s favorite perfume, grandpa’s favorite cologne, as well as two trees on either side of the table, which I always decorate for the holidays.
My grandparents really enjoyed the holidays. They especially celebrated Halloween and Christmas, their two favorite holidays of the year. The other holidays were also a great time to be at their house, but Halloween and Christmas were always the best!
I believe having a remembrance table, or ancestor altar, really helps to connect us with our loved ones, after they’ve crossed over. I personally don’t worship my ancestors, but I do honor them. You don’t just have to make a remembrance table at a loved one’s funeral, or at weddings or family gatherings. You can make it a permanent part of your home decor, and have it there all year long.
I love the idea of the remembrance table because a funeral should not be the only time you celebrate the life of a deceased loved one. It’s a great way to honor them and the wonderful memories you have to create with them when they were alive.
I’ve put special photographs from different times in their life that were especially joyous and memorable. Family was everything to them, so many of the pictures also include other relatives, such as uncles and their other grandchildren.
Honor Your Ancestors As The Wheel Turns
The Wheel of Fortune in the Tarot signifies change and transformation in our lives. We are now moving into a new season, but also other changes are coming. We can feel them! When we live close to the seasons and cycles of life, nature assists us through this transformation.
As the wheel turns, we come into the time now of Halloween, Samhain, Hallowmas, and then All Souls’ Day to honor our ancestors. Our elders are many: the ancestors, the wisdom keepers, our inner wise one, as well as those who give counsel and pass it on to those who seek them out. They are the healers of old and can come through as ancestors or guides.
These wise ones can slip between the worlds, transforming inner reality into outer reality, reminding us that we can too. They ask us: what do you want? What is your dream and vision? What’s holding you back? What are you willing to give up for something greater, a bigger vision? What needs to be healed? What would you do if you tapped into, and trusted your own wisdom?
Our European sister, the Baba Yaga, Hecate, the Greek Goddess of the Crossroads, is someone I deeply connect with, as is Mother Mary and Archangel Azrael. In my practice one of my specialties is working with those going through transitions and metaphorical crossroads of all kinds. Crossroads are places of power. It’s a place where we can give an offering of gratitude, or petition, or prayer.
At this time of the year the veil is thin, a time when we celebrate and honor our ancestors. There are many ways we can do this, for example by changing up our altars or creating a sacred space where we can display pictures of our loved ones, friends, pets, and adding things around it that they loved in this life, along with candles, and flowers.
October 2019 Weekly Astro Forecasts
October 7 – 13
We’ll be in the shadows of a waxing Full Moon this week, so be on the alert for minor accidents, computer glitches and surprising messages from people in your past.
We’ll be under the influence of an Aquarius Moon on Monday and Tuesday, which means there’s a chance we’ll be changing direction at a moment’s notice.
New ideas flow in, but we’ll have to take care not to blurt out everything we know or think now. Better to keep things to ourselves for another week or so.
Venus will move into Scorpio on Tuesday, kicking off a month-long passion for the supernatural, the mystical and the unexplained. It will also turn our thoughts to our shadow sides or deeper selves, unearthing memories or experiences that it’s time to look at and clear out, as the transformational energy of Scorpio is so famous for.
The rest of the week takes a softer tone as the Moon glides through Pisces, gearing us toward our spiritual sides and helping us look at the bigger picture of life. The weekend is ruled by an assertive and active Aries Moon, so this is a great time to get things done!
Sunday’s Aries Full Moon will inspire us to purge, and its motto is ‘out with the old and in with the new.’ So, if you’ve got clutter around your house you’ve been meaning to bag up and donate, now’s the time!