inner child
Let’s Make The Most Of This Gift Of Time
There is a cheesy saying, “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” It may be somewhat cheesy, but it is a brilliant metaphor. You still have those lemons. They are still terribly sour and inedible. But now you’ve added your own sweetness to them.
In recent months we have all suddenly been presented with a sometimes overwhelming new paradigm. Many of us are spending more time at home. Before the pandemic, many of us often wondered where our time went? If we only had more time!
This is especially true for those of us with young children. I have often said I feel like I only have 10-hour-days to fit everything into, including sleep, since my children were born.
It’s interesting to talk to my clients who are currently still going in to work, and often stressed for time, as compared to those clients who are fortunate to work from home, or have a reduced work schedule, or are currently unemployed. They are like parallel universes.
If you currently have the gift of time on your hands, make good use of it. It will lessen your depression and anxiety, and it will help you to think of this unusual time in our lives, which is only temporary, with more fondness and sentimentality. With the internet, so many options are open to us, and the possibilities are endless. Before all of this, I even learned how to crochet and knit online! I am now a very proud intermediate crocheter… and novice knitter.
Spiritual Attachment And Detachment
The physical world is not the only realm in which some of us struggle with issues of detachment (alienation), or attachment (codependency). The same holds true in the spirit realms.
If we experience spiritual attachment, this usually happens as a result of an addictive personality. In life, one could be addicted to unhealthy relationships, various substances, shopping, food, and so on. The driving force behind all of these is basically the same – the attempt to fill a perceived void with a substitute.
This inclination can then lead to the presence of negative spirit attachments with addictive energies. Perhaps the spirit entity had the same kind of addiction when it was in physical form, and still needs to experience that ‘high.’
When this happens, the victim in the physical world, to whom the spirit entity has attached itself, may become more stubborn and in denial over the need to change their habits. Many friends and family members who have had to deal with addicts, will tell you that addiction changed their loved one’s personality. From a spiritual perspective this is very true.
Spiritual detachment, on the other hand, happens when someone is the victim of abuse or trauma. A part of themselves ‘detaches’ or becomes distant from their core self, which may unintentionally invite a more powerful spirit presence to enter, to ‘protect’ or ‘guide’ the victim. Aristotle’s phrase ‘nature abhors a vacuum’ comes to mind. It means every space or void in nature always needs to be filled with something. The same holds true in the spirit realm.
The Rosary Reflections Of A Spiritualist
Some of us are merely going through the motions every day, doing what we think others expect of us, doing the ‘should’ we put on ourselves. Living life by rote. I equate this to saying prayer beads. It becomes almost an unconscious act. So, when something unexpected happens, like the coronavirus pandemic, and we are forced to slow down, or even come to a complete halt, we are suddenly confronted with our own truths.
For some of us, the only things that then come to mind are all the things that we perceive we have done ‘wrong’ in the past. We feel guilt over all the people we have disappointed or hurt. We mourn the relationships that did not go the distance. We obsess over the skeletons in our own personal closet.
When we get into this mindset of shame and regret, it affects our immune system and our well-being. The ‘poor me, bad me, angry me’ turns into a very ‘toxic me.’ When the world seems to be falling apart, the mind does a life review. We let the fear and regret creep in. What if there really is an afterlife, even if you have always said, “I don’t believe in heaven and hell.” The ‘what if’s’ in life can really do a number on us. When faced with uncertain times it is only natural to think about our own mortality, and our failures and past mistakes.
One thing I find that really helps, is to reflect on the good memories. Let the unpleasant ones come and go, and not reside in your mind. Thoughts are such powerful things, especially when you are still reflecting on things at 3am in the morning, while you should be sleeping. These worries and bad memories are usually things we can’t do anything about, even if we desperately want to.
When things seem out of control, flip the switch. Reflect instead on all the things you have accomplished. Think about things in your life that have brought you great joy. Times that even one person said good job. People that have said “I hear you,” and “you matter to me.”
Unconditional Love Is Heaven On Earth
When I was a little girl, I remember going to my grandparents’ home during the summers. I couldn’t wait for the summer to arrive, to get to spend time with them. It was always magical. The months leading up to those wonderful stays were always filled with anticipation and excitement.
Always having something to look forward to adds to the enjoyment and contentment of life. Whether it’s an upcoming event or something we are looking forward to, such trying an adventurous activity, or reading that new book you’re excited to dive into. Books have always been for me a bit of a mental vacation, because you can relax, while going places to imaginative places in your mind.
I believe the magic and enjoyment of getting to spend time with my grandparents came from it being filled with love and attention. Thinking back now, they were the only adults, when I was younger, who gave me their full attention and truly unconditional love. They were never too busy to sit and talk with me, or share stories from their childhood, which I found very fascinating.
Not all Grandparents are alike though. Some can be all about gossip, judgment, neglect, even abuse, and not the best role models. I was lucky that on my mother’s side of the family this was not the case. My maternal grandparents had all the traits and attributes one would imagine a truly loving grandparent to have.
I have memories of being in tears when having to leave and go back home. There I just spent my days alone in my room, as my parents were often too busy with church and other social groups they were involved in. I suspect all that time I was forced to spend on my own, helped me to expand and open my mind, to tap into those deeper areas of the psyche that are often left dormant.
How To Slow Down Time
We live in a world today where we are constantly being challenged to get everything done as a matter of urgency. We have to check every item on our ‘to-do lists’ by a specific deadline, which leads to stress overload and energy depletion.
The pressure to constantly perform drains our energy, which ultimately leads to exhaustion, depression, irritability and even ill health. It also negatively impacts our day-to-day interactions with others. And from personal experience, you can’t truly enjoy any task or moment when you’re always in a rush, or living only for the future.
Let me remind you today that it’s okay to sometimes ‘press pause’ for a moment and allow life to just flow in its own time, without getting frustrated or stressed. Inner peace comes from surrendering time to the Universe and finding a routine that works for your unique needs. Here are some ways you can slow down time and help you live in the present:
Breathing – Get involved in a form of exercise that encourages you to breathe deeply, like Yoga, Qigong, and even strength training.
Disconnect – Logout from the internet and social media on a regular basis.
Recreation – Go for a walk in the woods, sit by water or find a beautiful landscape that you find calming. Use your hands to make something with food or art materials. Continue reading
Through The Looking Glass
We tend to not see ourselves accurately. We too often choose to focus on our shortcomings and weaknesses, such as we perceive them to be. And I believe we are all guilty of this. I have not in all my years met anyone who was truly satisfied with themselves – until it was sometimes too late.
I was just as guilty of this as anyone else. My childhood was one that I wouldn’t have wished on my worst enemy. I was abandoned by both parents when I was very young. I was raised by an aunt and uncle, who took pleasure in reminding me that my parents did not love me. My aunt also took every opportunity to beat the daylights out of me, while my uncle did nothing.
When I hit puberty, several older males in my ‘family’ began to stalk and harass me. I’d go into the kitchen and soon find myself backed up against a wall. Nobody believed me. Nobody did anything to stop it – not even when I was raped at 16 by a family friend’s son, who was deemed to be a “good boy” and “would never do anything like that.”
I could go on and on about all the horrible things that happened to me, but once I turned that momentous age of 16, and having had the experiences that I have had, I left my aunt and uncle’s home. I went to live with my boyfriend, his sister and their mom. When I left, my uncle dumped all my clothes on the front lawn.
