News and Views From The Psychic Access Community

Wounded Healer

Empath Recovery From A Relationship With A Narcissist

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comI wrote a previous article about the phenomenon of empaths having a dangerous attraction to, and engaging in toxic relationships with narcissists. I have since been asked how the empath can more easily break away from such a relationship with a narcissist.

I am sorry to have to say, in my experience there is no surefire way to effortlessly sever such a connection. At least none that I am aware of. The connection between these two seemingly opposing forces is indeed a complicated one, since each of them serves the other with complimentary personality traits. Ending the connection is usually traumatic and detrimental to the empath.

Empaths seem to dive head first into ‘soul sucking.’ They are instinctively drawn to emotionally and mentally toxic relationships with narcissistic partners. It is the nature of the empath to try and heal those who are emotionally, mentally and even physically wounded. And too often the empath will commit almost unconditionally to this task.

The narcissist, however, lacks the ability to empathize with others and acts on their own selfish feelings of grandiosity and self-inflated ego. They serve only themselves and their need for attention and adoration. Their loyalty only lies where it is most beneficial to them. They are therefore capable of tremendous levels of deceit and manipulation. They will abuse the empath both mentally or physically to gain control over nearly every aspect of the empath’s life. They make the entire relationship solely about themselves and their needs.

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Healing Your Family Lineage

click pic for a free reading at PsychicAccess.comHave you ever heard a whisper from your ancestors that is clearly guiding you? Sometimes it also comes as a gesture of approval. I have heard my fair share, including one of my dearest family members whispering to me, and calling me by name, as she left her hospital bed at the time of her passing. It was so clear, sacred and spot on! She was letting me know how to deal with issues that would be coming my way after her passing, because she would no longer be there to protect me. And, oh, the validation! It meant so much – far more than my mere words can express. Stemming the flow is indeed observed by our ancestors.

Every lineage has wounds that are passed along throughout generations. The trauma is deeply ingrained in our ancestry.  There are no exceptions. Lucky are those of us who have chosen to affect the healing of these imprints. Usually, in a generation, it is the task of the person that is most misunderstood.

If that person is you, it is your sacred task and a path of honor that is earned through hardship on many levels, especially familial relationships. No worries. Your ancestors are guiding you. If you listen closely, you will hear them speak encouragingly. And, be sure to watch for indications of their presence. Indeed, they are witnessing for you.

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From Victim To Survivor To Soul Evolution

click pic for a free reading at PsychicAccess.comThe process of healing begins with psychological healing, which can then be carried forward to become transformational and contribute to your soul evolution. The original traumatic event or circumstances are experienced as a wound, as it should be. The pain of the occurrence is meant to be a lesson.

To shut this down by being stoic, or to minimize what happened to you, or your family, or your race, or to sugarcoat the experience with so called ‘positive thinking’ are the actions of a victim in denial. To feel the pain, to go through it and come out the other side is the journey of a warrior. This is where you start.

You set up this lesson before you ever incarnated. As a soul, working with your sacred group, and with guidance, you pre-determined these circumstances to create an amazing opportunity to forward your evolution as a soul. Accept what happened, which means don’t fight it, don’t deny it, go through the experience, feel it. Let it affect you, shape you, change you, challenge you.

Victim Stage

If you have a legal battle ahead of you for something such as rape, you will have to stay in victim (or victim survivor) mode as that is what the legal system demands. In fact, you will have to emphasize damage done to you in order to win your case. Even when one must call the police to come to a situation, law enforcement officers counsel people to say, for example, “I think I saw a gun.” This is done in order to get the police out in a timely manner and get it on record. Law enforcement is so overwhelmed that they have to prioritize which calls to respond to. Sadly the same is true for the courts. Emphasizing the danger you are in, or the harm you suffered, is a necessary strategy for legal battles, however, it is no way to continue living your life once the battle is done.

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Operating Your Light – The Lightworker’s Mission

click pic for a free reading at PsychicAccess.comLightworkers are souls who have a positive mission to Earth, to change its energy. Lightworkers are meant to eliminate destructive energies, and spread light and love everywhere on the planet.

But the life of a Lightworker is not a stress-free destiny. We live in very challenging times and Lightworkers aim to keep the light energy on Earth in balance. They have come to this planet to help move human consciousness to a greater level of awareness.

Lightworkers are energetically very powerful, and they have an inborn ability to heal and make others feel comfortable and safe. They are often just ordinary people: mothers, students, cashiers, road workers, and janitors. They are anyone who dedicates their life to bring more light into this world.

A Lightworker is likely to experience a momentous spiritual awakening, sometimes prompted on by a traumatic incident. Once they are awakened to the purpose of their mission, it is usually impossible for them to go back to their former way of life. There is a new sensation that things will never ever be the same, therefore they typically make the necessary changes and adjust. Their awareness and realization shifts, and a new mission is in place. Newly awakened Lightworkers appear to be talented enough to immediately make these immense life changes.

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Forget Self-Love

click here for a free reading at PsychicAccess.comIf you are wounded or unhealed; if you grew up in a dysfunctional family; if you grew up in an environment of poverty, violence, racism, or sexual assault… forget self-love! Seriously. Where on Earth would you have learned the skills for giving yourself some healthy self-love? You will be shooting in the dark trying to do something that you have never seen modeled for you, and never really experienced.

‘Self-love’ has become an overrated marketing slogan to sell self-improvement products and services. Start instead with self-care. This will be difficult enough. If you have children, think back on how complex it was figuring out how to care for your first born. The same concept applies to owning your first pet as an adult. No matter how much you prepared, you were never truly prepared. You made mistakes and you learned from them.

You also discovered that sometimes caring for your child meant doing things that the child did not like, or even hated. Your child would cry, fight, throw a tantrum, while you tried to keep him away from the hot stove, or from putting something harmful in her mouth.

Learning self-care is similar to raising a child or caring for a puppy. However, you will be the child and Spirit will be the  parent. You will make mistakes and you will resist, because some of the things you currently think are acts of self-care are actually harmful to you. Continue reading

Why Empaths Fall Victim To Narcissists

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comWhy are narcissists and empaths often drawn to one another? This is a phenomena many of us empaths fall victim to. Which, at first, may seem odd, since empaths and narcissists are polar opposites! But, maybe that is the key? Opposites attract.

But, what’s more profound, is that the narcissist preys upon the empath’s dedication to healing those who are emotionally wounded or scarred. By nature empaths are deeply caring, compassionate people. The empath’s purpose in life is to support healing in others, yet due to their intense sensitivity, empaths often struggle to create healthy boundaries for themselves, giving in to martyrdom, victimhood, co-dependency, and chronic self-sacrifice.

An empath will do anything in their power to help or heal another. And, will not easily give up or walk away. This makes them prime targets for the narcissist.

There are different types of narcissists. But, for this article, I will discuss the most common. And, that is the Amorous Narcissist. They tend to measure their self-worth and grandiosity by how many sexual conquests they have conquered. This type of person is known for using their charm to ensnare others with attention, flattery and gifts. But, they dispose of their target once they become bored or when their needs have been served. The target typically won’t so much as get an explanation, much less a goodbye.

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The Spiritual Teacher As The Enemy

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comIn psychology, therapists are trained to handle what is known as transference behavior in some of their clients or patients. Spiritual healers, readers, and teachers generally do not have much knowledge or skill in this regard, which can be detrimental for both the practitioner and those who come to them for services.

What is transference? When people go to spiritual professionals, they are often hurt and in psychological, emotional or spiritual pain, which sometimes also manifests as physical pain. People mainly are ‘hurt’ by other people in their lives, with whom they have emotional connections. When emotional connections are damaged (real or imagined) people feel hurt, betrayed, abandoned or experience various other emotions. When seeking healing or guidance (in whatever modality) those feelings of hurt are often transferred to the healer, teacher or other ‘authority figures.’

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