wounded healer
True Healing Begins With Holding Space
A work associate and friend recently offered me a free healing session, which he describes as ‘holding space.’ It involves the healer simply ‘being present’ and mindful in the moment with the client during a video call.
He explained the process beforehand and informed me that was going to simply talk and express myself, with no prompting from him. I gratefully accepted his kind offer.
I was not sure what to expect, but having studied various healing modalities myself over the years and being naturally curious about all aspects of spirituality and holistic health, I was open to the experience.
To begin he invited me to just relax and focus on my breathing. Once he senses that I was ready to proceed, he encouraged me to simply begin talking about whatever came to mind.
“Oh no,” I secretly thought, “what on earth will I talk about?”
Well, I soon discovered that it wasn’t difficult at all! I spontaneously began talking, and soon it was pretty much non-stop! I kicked off talking about my concerns for my aging pets, and then went on to other everyday worries and domestic matters. Eventually, I switched to my family history – specifically focusing on all the times I had felt invisible or let down by relatives.
About halfway through, I briefly hesitated and asked my friend if he was not maybe getting bored? But he assured me that he was perfectly fine, adding that this kind of work was very much a calling for him. He later explained that he has overcome several life challenges and tragedies himself over the years, and subsequent soul-searching, as well as further training in various holistic practices, ultimately led him to begin holding space for others.
Chiron Retrograde Is An Opportunity For Deep Healing
A lesser-known celestial body to watch if one is metaphysically inclined is the planet-like asteroid or comet known as Chiron, which orbits between the planets Saturn and Uranus. It is named after the wise centaur in Greek mythology who could heal others, but not himself, and is associated with the archetype of the ‘wounded healer.’
Chiron went retrograde recently on July 19th and its reverse trajectory will last until December 23rd, 2022. This astrological event will challenge us, as Chiron symbolizes the unhealed pain and unresolved past traumas we still carry within. It represents our deepest, core wound and our efforts to heal that wound. The good news is, despite a retrograde cycle bringing challenge, it also bring opportunity for expansion and growth.
Chiron is currently in the fiery, action-oriented sign of Aries where it will remain until the year 2026. This is a difficult placement, because Chiron is all about deep introspection, delicate shadow work and patiently working towards the healing of old wounds, while Aries has little patience in such matters and just wants to ‘get on with it.’
You may feel tempted to rush into the core of your pain and trauma due to this retrograde, but be sensible instead and take a step back. This retrograde period does offer a powerful opportunity for working on inner healing and forgiveness, but take a measured approach and do not foolishly rush in where angels may fear to tread. Give yourself permission to honor slow, steady processing, healing and growth. Healing is like a seed we plant; it takes time for an acorn to grow into an oak tree.
If you find your temper and emotions flaring, remember to breathe, use mantras, and positively visualize your outcome. New growth takes place after a wildfire (Aries) and this is an excellent time to start anew, while overcoming old traumas.
The Courage To Rescue Your Inner Child
Many people wish they had better memories of their childhood. For some the traumatic experiences of their youth is something they would much rather forget. But spirit has shown me that each piece of our life happens for a reason.
Learning to overcome and rise above the negative events in our life enables us to grow and expand. We do not get to pick and choose the parts we like, and discard the rest in the deepest closet of our mind. We become an empowered, improved version of ourselves when we find healing and forgiveness by redeeming even the worst parts of our life experience.
We all matter. We all bring unique gifts to this world. No matter what has happened to us, we must rescue every lost or damaged moment of our life journey. Those tragic events and awful experiences are what molds us into who we are today and who we are meant to become.
Nobody chooses some the things that might happen to them: family dysfunction, separation, divorce, rivalry, abuse, loss, death. As children we often blame ourselves for the things that happen around us, or we block it out, never wanting to remember it again. But this only means that you have left a part of yourself behind in the darkness of the past. But now that you are older and wiser, wouldn’t it be awesome if you could go back and save that part of you?
As a little girl I loved horses and dogs, but we could not afford to keep any. I made up for it by drawing them. My parents could also not afford to buy me expensive drawing paper, so I had to wait until my mom returned from the grocery store, because I would then get the used brown paper bags to draw on. It may seem somewhat silly, but to this day I still buy lots of paper whenever I get the chance! One would think there was going to be a shortage on paper, based on how I tend to stock up.
Start Your Healing Journey Today
Yesterday afternoon, I decided to take the bus to the discount grocery store in my area. They are well-known for the best prices in town. When I came out of the store there was a storm brewing. Waiting for my bus ride back, the mounting storm grew worse. Intense lightning strikes were soon followed by pouring rain. I was a little distressed, as my groceries were getting soaked.
But I was not afraid.
Before my journey, I placed an uncut amethyst cabochon around my neck, and also donned a more traditional amethyst ring. Amethyst stabilizes the crown chakra, the highest portal that connects us to the Universe.
A year ago, when I moved into my current apartment, I was still very fearful of thunderstorms, especially living on the top floor of my apartment building. My remedy at that time was diffusing high-value essential oils, such as frankincense and sandalwood.
Years prior to my body-mind-spirit recovery journey, I was so intensely scared of storms that I had to have the news on in the basement of my ex-husband’s house.
It is by tapping into such personal conquests of my own fears, that I hold sacred every client’s concern. Worries about love and relationships, job security, and many other life challenges abound in the aftermath of the COVID-19 pandemic. But by remembering my own intense traumas and self-empowerment journey, I can embrace their life stressors. I don’t judge their fears and worries. I only step in their shoes through my memory portal.
Learning about the chakras and aura, after a life changing psychic reading that set the wheels in motion for my spiritual awakening journey nearly ten years ago, I started the courageous process of clearing my severely obstructed spirit. I’m not 100% of where I need to be yet in every aspect of my spirituality, but I do have a solid track record now to look back upon.
Two Pitfalls To Manifesting Healing
I have been doing energy healing work in many capacities for several years now. If you are reading this it is likely that you have manifested on this Earth to bring healing energy to many situations.
From what I have seen most people have a natural desire to bring healing and restoration though many different mediums. But there are two specific pitfalls that keep individuals from fully manifesting their healing gift. The first is a need for perfection before manifestation, and the second is elitism. My mentor once said that we are all wounded healers. I have yet to meet a master or student who has reached the pinnacle of intuitive insight and energy flow. This does not make us broken and should certainly not keep us from fulfilling our destinies as healers and intuitives.
If I met someone who claims to have achieved full enlightenment, I would steer clear of that person. When we are not living in a flow of personal insight and development we become stagnant. When water lacks movement or flow it loses its vital energy. Our vital energy or personal rei-ki comes from the ebbs and flows of our personal human experience.
Rei (divine love and wisdom) Ki (vital energy) comes from two sources. This flow can be attained through both attunements. The second source is the energy flow that is channeled through our journey and experience. It is important to remember that even Usui Reiki had a source and was channeled in a time and place of great need. This is also why Reiki cannot be contained in a single tradition. There is Vedic Karuna Reiki, Kagami Reiki, and Egyptian Seichim Reiki, as well as your reiki, my reiki, and on and on. It can be expressed and experienced in symbols, words, pictures, archetypes, and so forth. True mastery is achieved by understanding that Spirit is not limited, and by entering into the limitless possibilities of love.
How To Avoid Empath Ego-Traps
Being an empowered empath is a wonderful gift and blessing. But the empath ‘label’ can also become problematic when it is misconceived by some as meaning more than it truly signifies.
There are very common ego-traps that some empaths and highly sensitive people get hung up on with regards their empathic experiences. These ego-traps can be very counterproductive, as it may actually be holding them back from meaningful personal growth and progressing our spiritual path.
These ego traps are easy to get wrapped up in, but they are not a sign of weakness or failure. The experience of being an empath is often intense and confusing. These ego-traps offer lessons for us that often go hand-in-hand with life as an empath.
Some of the typical empath ego-traps are as follows:
Empaths Always Know Best
Assuming we are always right about how we ‘read’ a situation or person, or needing to save everyone and be everybody’s ‘therapist.’ We may have a good read that something is amiss, or that someone is upset, but its unwise to assume we always know exactly why.
Often empaths will feel something from someone and decide for themselves why that person is feeling that way. This is a good way to create conflict and tension in relationships! Instead of assuming, rather ask.
And if the person doesn’t want to talk about it, try assuming it is not about you, and that maybe you have no idea what is really upsetting them. Start there. Give the person space and do not make it about you. Continue reading
Being An Empath Is No Excuse
There’s nothing wrong with identifying as an empath. Actually, it can be beneficial to step into this truth for oneself, and own your empathic experiences as a significant aspect of your life.
But for many people it is difficult to take on this ‘label,’ because they don’t feel worthy or they feel they are saying, “I’m more special than other people.” In these cases, there is great benefit in coming to terms with being an empath because it doesn’t have to mean either of those things.
Being an empath is not something they have to be worthy of – it’s a trait they either have or don’t have. And it’s not a matter of being better or ‘more special’ than anyone else – that notion comes from a fear of being judged.
Being an empath means being highly sensitive to emotional energies, and feeling those emotions in your own body as if they were your own. The term ‘empath’ is just a word we can use to describe this trait.
There is some scientific evidence for the empath experience. Studies* show we all have a very specific group of cells in our brain responsible for empathy and compassion, called the Mirror Neuron System. In the brain of highly empathic people, it is thought this group of cells may be hyperactive or hypersensitive.
Being an empath is a wonderful blessing and gift, instead of it being a ‘curse,’ weakness or disability. However, it is important for the empath to become empowered and own their sensitivity.
In order to accomplish this, it is vital for the empath to avoid adopting a ‘victim mentality’ or constantly blaming everything negative that happened in their life on the fact that they are an empath.
Some empaths erroneously believe many of the struggles they encounter can’t be overcome. They assume that they will always be crippled in some way by their experience as an empath. This is false. They may have specific experiences and lessons because they’re an empath, but these are opportunities for growth. Some of the ways this manifests are: