self-esteem
Increase Your Power And Influence With Charisma
Charisma is a skill that can have a profound impact on our personal and professional lives. It is often wrongly assumed that charisma is a personality trait or talent that some people are born with. The truth is charisma is a learned behavior and skill that can be developed by anyone.
Charisma is the magnetic ability to attract, charm, and persuade others with our words and actions. The term originates from the Greek khárisma, which means ‘favor freely given,’ or ‘gift of grace,’ because the ancients believed that possessing this quality was a divine gift bestowed only upon those who were favored by the gods.
It is generally associated with people who are confident, engaging, and influential. By cultivating charisma, we become more effective at reaching and connecting with others, which can be invaluable in life.
Whether we are seeking to build stronger, healthier personal relationships, foster better professional connections, or make more friends, having a strong presence and the ability to engage with others is a key factor for success. Charisma is not about being arrogant, manipulative, or insincere. Rather it is about being authentic and genuine, while also being able to express ourselves in a way that resonates with others.
Charismatic people are skilled communicators who are able to listen actively, empathize with others, and express themselves clearly and persuasively. They are also able to project confidence, enthusiasm, and positivity, which can be infectious and uplifting to those around them.
The Life-Long Journey Of Self-Love
Self-love is essential for mental, physical, and emotional well-being. It is vital to have a positive, loving attitude towards yourself and take care of your own needs. Not only is this essential for living a happy and healthy life, but it also empowers you to be more loving and caring towards others.
Self-love is often misunderstood. Many people think that self-love is only about pampering oneself, indulging in extravagance, or buying yourself expensive things. It is much more than that. It is not about being selfish, self-indulgent, or narcissistic. Instead, it is about accepting yourself, taking care of yourself and understanding your true worth.
Truly loving yourself is therefore about knowing your worth, appreciating your unique strengths and abilities, and treating yourself with compassion and kindness. It is also about taking personal responsibility for your life, making choices and decisions that serve your highest good, and letting go of negative thoughts and self-destructive behaviors.
It is also important to realize that self-love is a journey, not a destination. It is a life-long process that is part of our soul purpose in this lifetime. It is a state of being that requires patience, dedication, commitment and effort.
Cultivating self-love begins with understanding yourself, accepting your flaws, and learning to forgive yourself. It involves setting boundaries and taking responsibility for your own needs and happiness. It is also about cultivating positive relationships and learning to trust yourself.
The Spiritual Wisdom Of Solitude
In the age of digital ‘connection,’ we are becoming more socially disconnected than ever before in human history. In fact, loneliness has become a secret epidemic profoundly affecting many people all over the world. A 2022 study of the prevalence of loneliness across 113 countries found that “problematic levels of loneliness are experienced by a substantial proportion of the population in many countries.”
There is strong evidence that loneliness or social isolation is a serious health risk that increases premature death from all causes, similar to smoking, obesity, and lack of exercise. It is also specifically linked to higher rates of heart failure, dementia, depression, anxiety, and suicide.
Loneliness must however not be confused with solitude, which is in fact a powerful aspect of spiritual practice that has been practiced since the dawn of time.
Loneliness is the feeling of being alone and isolated, regardless the amount of social contact. In other words, social isolation can cause a sense of loneliness in some of us, but we can also feel intensely lonely without being socially isolated. One can feel lonely even when there are many people present in our life.
Solitude, on the other hand, is the conscious choice to be alone, usually for the purpose of personal reflection, recharging one’s energy, spiritual contemplation, or simply enjoyment of your own company. It’s about purposely choosing to be present with yourself, rather than the lack of social connection.
The Spiritual Practice Of Flower Power
Every now and again, I purchase a bouquet of flowers as a gift to myself. Placing a vase of flowers on your home altar or sacred space adds nature-inspired ambiance, brightness, and sensuality to one’s spiritual self-care.
I also love to diffuse the essential oils of flowers, especially when I meditate, but they don’t have the tangibility and energetic beauty of a stunning array of fresh blooms. Analogous to eating whole food versus taking a supplement, fresh flowers represent the wholeness, divine design, and awe-inspiring beauty of Gaia, Mother Nature, our Earth Mother, the Divine Feminine.
Unadulterated, the ‘flower power’ of a beautiful bouquet commands marvelous healing energies, blesses the giver, and inspires bountiful gratitude in the recipient.
The most powerful spiritual practice involving flowers is to plant your own flower garden with perennial varieties, such as tulips, black-eyed susans, and chrysanthemums. With careful planning around the seasonal calendar one can also have different species in bloom at different times throughout the entire year.
Cultivating a thriving garden of flowers is a magnificent form of energy work. It attracts and manifests emotional healing, abundance, and the fulfillment of wishes, especially in aspects of romance, marriage, fertility, and parenthood. By lovingly nurturing and caring for the delicate beauty of living flowers, we invite much love, beauty and abundance into our lives.
You Don’t Have To Be Perfect
Whenever we are focused on a task at hand, whether it is career, business or personal, we tend to focus on our mistakes and worry about what we may be doing wrong. Will it meet expectations? Are we good enough? The loud voice of perfectionism in our ego mind is often saying, “You did not do it right, you did not do enough…you are not enough.”
But constantly striving for perfection and beating ourselves up when we cannot meet those impossible expectations, sabotages the very thing we are trying to achieve. It impacts every part of our lives and also affects people around us, including our friends, coworkers, family and life partners.
Setting unrealistic standards for ourselves and others leaves us constantly feeling disappointed in ourselves and let down by others, over and over again. The perfectionism we are striving for becomes front and center in our in relationships, our careers, our health and our overall well-being. The result is anxiety, low self-esteem, fear of failure, depression, and broken relationships.
Failed perfectionism leads us to constantly measuring our worth against others, and vulnerable to the opinions, criticisms, and judgments of others. Perfectionists are very concerned about what others will think or say.
Striving for perfection is also about a need for control, so that our lives and those we care about will work out perfectly as we had planned. But contrary to popular belief, perfectionism does not lead to lasting success and fulfillment.
The Truth About Ego And Spirit
Having a strong ego may be just as important as having a strong spirit. However, it can become a problem when we are confused or conflicted between the two, and do not realize that one is tied to the other.
Ego is all about our sense of self. It is about our self-worth, self-belief and how we feel we compare to others. Having a healthy sense of self-esteem is vital for our happiness and well-being.
For example, if someone chooses to stay in a toxic relationship due to their low self or sense of self is essential for our mental and emotional well-being. We must not confuse having a healthy ego with an over-inflated one.
People who have healthy egos do not think in terms of bold versus meek, or overbearing versus subdued. It is not about dominance or submission for them. They only view themselves as being worthy and competent, and strive to improve their life and become the best possible version of themselves. Self-love is not self-righteousness. People with a strong ego can confidently navigate whatever life throws their way without losing their sense of self.
However, those with an over-inflated, toxic ego tend to be arrogant, self-important and more concerned with how others are doing instead of their own achievements. They tend to believe they are so much more worthy and successful than everyone else, and constantly judge others for their mistakes and failures. Big egos are not very ‘healthy’ at all!
Also, when we strive for bigger or better things for ourselves, it is not only a case of satisfying our ego. Spirit operates with a similar agenda. Our soul or spirit is in fact strongly connected to our sense of self. This is why we traditionally say someone is in ‘low spirits,’ meaning they are feeling sad or depressed. But when someone is in ‘good spirits,’ they may have had happy news or some good fortune.
Being Your Strongest, Most Authentic Self
Many people tend to think that being vulnerable and open is a bad thing, because it makes them vulnerable to getting hurt in life and especially in relationships.
When someone disappoints or hurts us, whether deliberately or inadvertently, it is usually because they have deep wounds of their own that stems from their past, especially for their childhood. These unresolved traumas are often dormant and unconscious.
One might feel this is still no excuse to treat others poorly, or that they should know better. However, because these people typically have not done much inner work or self-healing to really know how to be in loving, happy, and functional relationships. I’m not condoning their bad behavior, but if they actually do not know any better, then how can one expect it from them?
I find people who are stuck in such patterns of hurting others are usually very much defensive and in denial. If you gently suggest what you may need from them, or bring up an aspect that the two of you could work on together to improve the relationship, they tend to instantly throw what you say back in your face and make it all about you. Suddenly, all of it is your fault.
This defensive behavior is a clear signal that this person has a lot of hurt, and is either fearful or unable to work through it. Therefore, if you bring up something that triggers their pain, they immediately see it as a threat. They feel attacked, or that they are being made a scapegoat.