self-esteem
Being Your Strongest, Most Authentic Self
Many people tend to think that being vulnerable and open is a bad thing, because it makes them vulnerable to getting hurt in life and especially in relationships.
When someone disappoints or hurts us, whether deliberately or inadvertently, it is usually because they have deep wounds of their own that stems from their past, especially for their childhood. These unresolved traumas are often dormant and unconscious.
One might feel this is still no excuse to treat others poorly, or that they should know better. However, because these people typically have not done much inner work or self-healing to really know how to be in loving, happy, and functional relationships. I’m not condoning their bad behavior, but if they actually do not know any better, then how can one expect it from them?
I find people who are stuck in such patterns of hurting others are usually very much defensive and in denial. If you gently suggest what you may need from them, or bring up an aspect that the two of you could work on together to improve the relationship, they tend to instantly throw what you say back in your face and make it all about you. Suddenly, all of it is your fault.
This defensive behavior is a clear signal that this person has a lot of hurt, and is either fearful or unable to work through it. Therefore, if you bring up something that triggers their pain, they immediately see it as a threat. They feel attacked, or that they are being made a scapegoat.
Take Some Time To Envision A Better Life
The most valuable thing we can do for ourselves is to envision a better life and future for ourselves. We are the creators of our own reality and the masters of our own destiny. If your life is not the way you wish it to be, then you can begin to change it for the better starting today.
The best way to begin is to take honest inventory of your life – focusing on those things that are within your control – to determine what achievements and successes you are proud of. At the same time, also take careful look at what you might want to do differently or accomplish going forward.
If you are unhappy with your life as it currently is, know that your circumstances do not need to remain the same for the rest of your life
If we look at our current lifestyle, prosperity and well-being and do not like what we see, it is usually a sign that our level of self-worth or our sense of feeling deserving has been very low and that we have most likely succumbed to negative thinking and beliefs in recent times.
To transform our lives for the better, we must then change our thinking and visualization habits, in order to start attracting the superior conditions and improved quality of life that we would prefer to have in our lives.
It’s perfectly okay to dream of greater glories, whether that means more money, a new home, a loving partner, or something all-encompassing such as delightful happiness, superior health, and true abundance.
Mistakes Are Necessary For Spiritual Growth
Have you ever felt like you made a wrong choice or bad decision that caused everything to fall apart or steered your life went in the wrong direction. Maybe you knew it was the wrong choice, but you did it anyway? Well, every mistake is an opportunity for growth. There are no mistakes in life, only lessons. Without mistakes, there is very little personal and spiritual growth.
Let’s say you choose to date a guy with a bad reputation. Then, as your gut feeling had warned and your psychic advisor had predicted, he cheats on you, and ultimately dumps you for someone else. Your inner guidance told you it was not a good idea; spirit advised against it. Yet, still you chose to find out the truth the hard way, by experiencing it for yourself.
But then you still do not learn the lesson. You go and do it again. You take him back and trust that he has changed as he has promised. Then he does the same all over again. Do you continue to stay and have him hurt you and take advantage of you? If you do, you still have not learned the lesson.
So, what is the lesson here? Well, the first thing you would have to recognize is that the lesson is not about him. It is about you. It is about establishing your self-worth and building your self-esteem. It is about accepting the fact that you, like anyone else, deserve to be loved and to be happy. And it is about learning to trust your inner guidance and pay attention when spirit guides you.
I have worked with many clients over the years who find all kinds of excuses and justifications for staying in a bad relationship, a toxic workplace, or a dysfunctional family environment.
Only You Can Heal A Recurring Emotional Injury
We are all negatively impacted at times by certain events or people causing us emotional hurt and trauma.
If this is something that is currently weighing on your mind and you feel emotionally injured or overwhelmed today, then the following strategies may help you to overcome the recent setback you suffered.
Not only can these three steps help you to better deal with your current emotional injury, but it can also bring about lasting positive change in your life.
Step 1: Feeling Through
It is vital to process negative emotions. You should never try to suppress or repress unpleasant feelings. It is important that you allow yourself to fully feel your current emotion. Don’t think or rationalize, just feel.
Let the tears of sadness flow, lean into the fear or anxious feelings, or embrace the anger and disappointed. To process and ultimately resolve these feelings, we must first truly feel them.
However, do not spend too much time in this stage of the process. Truly feeling your negative emotions does not mean you must obsess over it or constantly dwell on it. A few hours, or at most a day or two, then let it go! Do not let it drag on for weeks or months, because this will not heal you and will only have a counterproductive effect. After the one-time ‘feeling through’, it is time to move on to the next stage.
Free Yourself From The Fear Of Rejection
A close friend and college, who is also a psychic medium, had a blind date set up by a friend a while ago. “I think the two of you would hit it off,” the match-making friend promised. Well, my friend and the mystery man initially texted for a couple of weeks and then decided to meet in person.
Due to Covid-19 recommendations at the time, they arranged to meet outside and ended up going for a three hour walk. The date went great! When it was time to part, the gentleman said he hoped they can meet again soon. He clearly seemed to like her a lot.
She agreed as they both seemed to enjoy each other’s company, but on the way home, her old fear of rejection resurfaced. She called me the next day to tell me how it went.
The first thing she said was that he seemed a great person. It was the first time, in a long time, that she had such a good time. But I could sense that something was not quite right. So, I asked her what was the matter?
“I think he is out of my league,” she bluntly said.
“What do you mean,” I exclaimed in surprise.
“Well, he arrived in a brand-new luxury car, while mine is an old jalopy! He is a medical professional, and I just do readings. I am also not smart enough, or pretty enough for a guy like him. My middle-aged body is certainly not what it used to be.
Learning To Accept Yourself (Warts And All)
A consistent trend I have noticed doing psychic readings and metaphysical counseling for many years. This trend relates to rejection, and our reaction to being rejected by our human family. It is not natural to abandon or reject loved ones, but in my experience as a pastoral counselor and psychic healer, I have noticed that it is a challenge that many have faced in this life.
Recently, as I was doing a channeling session with one of my clients, this came up and we both had a revelation about our own experiences of rejection. The discussion we had was not only about rejection and how we as humans experience it, but also about how we perceive acceptance. Our experience of rejection comes from only one source, namely our expectation, and also how we resonate with the acceptance we receive from others.
When we are children it is natural for us to allow our parents to be our source. They were the picture of God in our lives, and in ideal situations they were our source of acceptance, providing nurture and stability. Many times, when you see a religious group adopting a vengeful and cruel depiction of the Divine, it stems from a refusal to remove the archetypal depiction from God they experienced with their parents.
Many times, the search for source extends itself outward, and the responsibility of our fulfillment is put on other people or organizations. In some cases, fulfillment is found in substances and can also lead to addictive behaviors. We look to these external ‘sources’ to provide us comfort and satisfaction.
It is natural for us to live in community and relationships, so our endeavors toward fulfillment are often projected outward in our relationships. Unfortunately, since we all have an intrinsic need to identify with and live from Source, we find ourselves continually reaching for fulfillment that we rarely find. This leads to heartache, loss, and broken relationships within the human family.
Only You Can Achieve Your Goals
The indigenous peoples of Canada traditionally believe that those born under the Budding Trees Moon (which occurs in the spring months of mid-March to mid-April) have incredible potential to excel in whatever goals they choose for their life. However, it is also said that some of these blessed individuals may be unwise in their expectations of their own abilities, which may slow their progress, or even prevent them from moving forward at all.
It is further believed that this may also happen if they tell a friend or family member what they are hoping to achieve in life, and them not being supportive. Instead of encouraging them, and expressing their faith in their abilities, they might instead call them an unrealistic dreamer or sceptically say they will believe it when they see it. Yes, sadly, it is usually those who are supposed to be our primary support system in life who tend to not believe in us, and least support our dreams.
There is much wisdom in the teachings of the ancient aboriginal peoples. Yes, we can achieve whatever we set our mind to, and anything is indeed possible, but we must also be mindful of our expectations. It does not matter what the goal itself is; what matters most is our own expectations of being able to achieve it.
If we do not believe in our own abilities to achieve even our most modest goals, we will continuously suffer from self-doubt, feel overwhelmed, and never feel worthy enough.
No matter what we choose to aim for in life, it is simply that: a choice. Your choice. No one can stop you, except yourself, and nobody else can get into your head to put you down, unless you let them. No matter what choice you are making, you must also stand behind it every step of the way.