dysfunctional behavior
Is Your History Repeating Itself?
Are you feeling stuck making all the wrong choices and decisions? Are you repeating the same make mistakes? A study at the Max Planck Institute for Human Cognitive and Brain Sciences analyzed the processes that occur before the human brain makes a decision. In this study, participants were asked to press a button with their left, or right hand. They were able to do this at whatever moment they decided, however, they were asked to remember the specific time they recognized making their decision and to relay that information to the researchers.
By observing the participant’s brain scanner, it was discovered that the researchers knew the participant’s decision seven seconds before the participant knew, based on observing electrical signals within the participant’s brain. This is important information, because it validates how much our subconscious minds are making decisions without us fully being aware of the choices we are making.
Although this research is based on making immediate decisions, how often are you aware of where their decisions are being based upon? How can you know if you’re making a decision based on old thought patterns and habits, rather than based on higher, conscious awareness?
The philosopher George Santayana famously said, “Those who do not learn history are doomed to repeat it.” While this is true on a global scale, this is also true in our personal relationships. My interests in psychology and consciousness originated from observing my family, their unhealthy patterns, and observing the resulting choices I’ve made myself, in response to those patterns.
Actions Speak Louder Than Words!
Actions are key in a relationship of any kind, whether it be with family, friends, co-workers, romantic partners, or spouses. Actions indeed speak louder than words! Our behavior and deeds reveal who we truly are. If I was only allowed to offer my clients one piece of relationship advice for the rest of my life, then this would be it: trust what they do, not what they say.
Here is how to look at it. Let’s say you have arranged to go on a date with someone, but they do not show up, and they have all kinds of excuses later. Okay, life happens. So, they did not notify you of their no-show, and they did not care about your feelings in contacting you. Not good. I am not saying dump them right away, but carefully consider how they handled the situation with you. Do they at least appear to care?
This may be a pattern of theirs, so here is where you already need to start watching their actions more carefully. This event may have been due to a random set of unfortunate circumstances beyond their control, or it is an early ‘red flag’ of who they really are. If someone is okay with disappointing or hurting you with the little things, they will have no problem doing the same someday when it truly matters.
Here is another example that I often find in readings: cheating. Let’s say your boyfriend cheated once, and you caught them. He is all upset with himself, and you guys talk it out. He promises he will never do it again. Now, it is one thing for him to say it, but quite another for him to actually keep his word! His future actions will ultimately reveal the truth. If he repeats the same behavior, then his cheating is not just a mistake or a red flag – it is a dealbreaker!
Only You Can Heal A Recurring Emotional Injury
We are all negatively impacted at times by certain events or people causing us emotional hurt and trauma.
If this is something that is currently weighing on your mind and you feel emotionally injured or overwhelmed today, then the following strategies may help you to overcome the recent setback you suffered.
Not only can these three steps help you to better deal with your current emotional injury, but it can also bring about lasting positive change in your life.
Step 1: Feeling Through
It is vital to process negative emotions. You should never try to suppress or repress unpleasant feelings. It is important that you allow yourself to fully feel your current emotion. Don’t think or rationalize, just feel.
Let the tears of sadness flow, lean into the fear or anxious feelings, or embrace the anger and disappointed. To process and ultimately resolve these feelings, we must first truly feel them.
However, do not spend too much time in this stage of the process. Truly feeling your negative emotions does not mean you must obsess over it or constantly dwell on it. A few hours, or at most a day or two, then let it go! Do not let it drag on for weeks or months, because this will not heal you and will only have a counterproductive effect. After the one-time ‘feeling through’, it is time to move on to the next stage.
Free Yourself From The Fear Of Rejection
A close friend and college, who is also a psychic medium, had a blind date set up by a friend a while ago. “I think the two of you would hit it off,” the match-making friend promised. Well, my friend and the mystery man initially texted for a couple of weeks and then decided to meet in person.
Due to Covid-19 recommendations at the time, they arranged to meet outside and ended up going for a three hour walk. The date went great! When it was time to part, the gentleman said he hoped they can meet again soon. He clearly seemed to like her a lot.
She agreed as they both seemed to enjoy each other’s company, but on the way home, her old fear of rejection resurfaced. She called me the next day to tell me how it went.
The first thing she said was that he seemed a great person. It was the first time, in a long time, that she had such a good time. But I could sense that something was not quite right. So, I asked her what was the matter?
“I think he is out of my league,” she bluntly said.
“What do you mean,” I exclaimed in surprise.
“Well, he arrived in a brand-new luxury car, while mine is an old jalopy! He is a medical professional, and I just do readings. I am also not smart enough, or pretty enough for a guy like him. My middle-aged body is certainly not what it used to be.
Anger Release Empowers The Empath
As an empath, I’ve been personally and professionally targeted by others many times in my life. But I am not the only one. These challenges are common among the highly sensitive. Why do sensitives tend to experience so much bullying? I believe we tend to attract it because we are called to support others in balancing their emotions. We are meant to use our gift of empathy to help heal others.
But at times the empath becomes overwhelmed. She is only human and sometimes also needs to vent. Most of all the empath must learn to release anger and other negative emotion she may experience as a result of the injustice, callousness and even cruelty she often tends to suffer.
Unresolved anger is one of the underlying causes for many addictions and dysfunctional behaviors. Anger that leads to a sense of entitlement, and from entitlement comes dissolved hopes and dreams.
If we learn to surrender our egos and release entitlement, then we find the hopes and dreams we’ve lost return to us. Peace is the ultimate foundation of prosperity and well-being. Having peaceful thoughts and kind intentions for everyone invites abundance into our lives.
This doesn’t mean we have to be a ‘doormat’ for others. If we are truly at peace, our higher vibration commands a natural boundary and the Universe fills in the energetic gaps.
For example, while dealing with a difficult person, someone else may come along to interrupt the conversation with some humor. The Universal Spirit naturally intercedes on our behalf once we set good intentions for everyone by releasing our anger and resentment.
Less Is More When They ‘Know It All’
Some people just don’t like to hear the truth. Do you also know people who seem to avoid you, because they know you’re potentially going to say it like it is? They recognize you as a person who speaks the truth based on plain common sense.
I have known people who have very little common sense and really do not want help, advice, guidance or direction from anyone. They know it all. That is just the way it is with them. The ego can make us not want to take honest advice, and thus we do not have the advantage of learning and growing with help from others who may have more experience or wisdom. I have learned the fine art of silence when I am around these people. I feel awkward, because those who know what I do for a living realize that they are pretty much transparent in my eyes, when they are around me.
I especially have a very hard time when I am around certain people, because you see the damage they are doing to themselves and others. You want to share a better way with them, but you have to let them follow their own path. It may seem like an unnecessary struggle for them, but maybe they are supposed to go through all that pain and heartache. It may be a part of their unique spiritual journey towards soul growth.
Protect your energy by knowing when to practice the art of silence with people who ‘know it all.’ You can’t resonate with everyone, and it is especially pointless if they don’t appreciate it. Why use up all that precious energy if they are only going to be disrespectful?
Your Outer Life Reflects Your Inner World
Everything that happens in the Universe requires our participation for the highest good of all, and everything we personally contribute to this process of co-creation always has its consequences, for better or worse. The people and situations we experience in our daily lives reflect our inner world.
Although the final outcomes of what we co-create with others is not always our choice, or solely our doing, but still reflects on us anyway. Why? Because energy is the language of the Universe, and the Universe will simply respond to what we emanate with manifestations that match our energies.
For example, if you don’t like yourself much and constantly put yourself down, you will continually have life experiences that match your own self-loathing energy frequencies. So, you may find yourself frequently being disrespected, judged, or criticized by other people.
Another good example is repetitive dysfunctional patterns in your relationships, such as always being the one who is being cheated on. Believing that your partners will be unfaithful, and always fearing for the worst, can become like a magnet for cheating in every new relationship. The negative expectations and fearful energy we put into a relationship from the very beginning will eventually catch up with us.
To break these toxic energy patterns, we have to enter a new relationship with an open, fearless heart, trusting that if the Universe guided us towards meeting this person, then there must be a good reason for it.
So, why not let go, and let Spirit, God, Source, Universe, the Divine guide you towards your highest good? Have faith, and just trust the process! If your own energies are confident, hopeful, and positive, then life around you will unfold organically as it must. Stop analyzing and trying to control everything, and allow life energy to flow where it will for your highest good.