dysfunctional behavior
Free Yourself From The Fear Of Rejection
A close friend and college, who is also a psychic medium, had a blind date set up by a friend a while ago. “I think the two of you would hit it off,” the match-making friend promised. Well, my friend and the mystery man initially texted for a couple of weeks and then decided to meet in person.
Due to Covid-19 recommendations at the time, they arranged to meet outside and ended up going for a three hour walk. The date went great! When it was time to part, the gentleman said he hoped they can meet again soon. He clearly seemed to like her a lot.
She agreed as they both seemed to enjoy each other’s company, but on the way home, her old fear of rejection resurfaced. She called me the next day to tell me how it went.
The first thing she said was that he seemed a great person. It was the first time, in a long time, that she had such a good time. But I could sense that something was not quite right. So, I asked her what was the matter?
“I think he is out of my league,” she bluntly said.
“What do you mean,” I exclaimed in surprise.
“Well, he arrived in a brand-new luxury car, while mine is an old jalopy! He is a medical professional, and I just do readings. I am also not smart enough, or pretty enough for a guy like him. My middle-aged body is certainly not what it used to be.
Anger Release Empowers The Empath
As an empath, I’ve been personally and professionally targeted by others many times in my life. But I am not the only one. These challenges are common among the highly sensitive. Why do sensitives tend to experience so much bullying? I believe we tend to attract it because we are called to support others in balancing their emotions. We are meant to use our gift of empathy to help heal others.
But at times the empath becomes overwhelmed. She is only human and sometimes also needs to vent. Most of all the empath must learn to release anger and other negative emotion she may experience as a result of the injustice, callousness and even cruelty she often tends to suffer.
Unresolved anger is one of the underlying causes for many addictions and dysfunctional behaviors. Anger that leads to a sense of entitlement, and from entitlement comes dissolved hopes and dreams.
If we learn to surrender our egos and release entitlement, then we find the hopes and dreams we’ve lost return to us. Peace is the ultimate foundation of prosperity and well-being. Having peaceful thoughts and kind intentions for everyone invites abundance into our lives.
This doesn’t mean we have to be a ‘doormat’ for others. If we are truly at peace, our higher vibration commands a natural boundary and the Universe fills in the energetic gaps.
For example, while dealing with a difficult person, someone else may come along to interrupt the conversation with some humor. The Universal Spirit naturally intercedes on our behalf once we set good intentions for everyone by releasing our anger and resentment.
Less Is More When They ‘Know It All’
Some people just don’t like to hear the truth. Do you also know people who seem to avoid you, because they know you’re potentially going to say it like it is? They recognize you as a person who speaks the truth based on plain common sense.
I have known people who have very little common sense and really do not want help, advice, guidance or direction from anyone. They know it all. That is just the way it is with them. The ego can make us not want to take honest advice, and thus we do not have the advantage of learning and growing with help from others who may have more experience or wisdom. I have learned the fine art of silence when I am around these people. I feel awkward, because those who know what I do for a living realize that they are pretty much transparent in my eyes, when they are around me.
I especially have a very hard time when I am around certain people, because you see the damage they are doing to themselves and others. You want to share a better way with them, but you have to let them follow their own path. It may seem like an unnecessary struggle for them, but maybe they are supposed to go through all that pain and heartache. It may be a part of their unique spiritual journey towards soul growth.
Protect your energy by knowing when to practice the art of silence with people who ‘know it all.’ You can’t resonate with everyone, and it is especially pointless if they don’t appreciate it. Why use up all that precious energy if they are only going to be disrespectful?
Your Outer Life Reflects Your Inner World
Everything that happens in the Universe requires our participation for the highest good of all, and everything we personally contribute to this process of co-creation always has its consequences, for better or worse. The people and situations we experience in our daily lives reflect our inner world.
Although the final outcomes of what we co-create with others is not always our choice, or solely our doing, but still reflects on us anyway. Why? Because energy is the language of the Universe, and the Universe will simply respond to what we emanate with manifestations that match our energies.
For example, if you don’t like yourself much and constantly put yourself down, you will continually have life experiences that match your own self-loathing energy frequencies. So, you may find yourself frequently being disrespected, judged, or criticized by other people.
Another good example is repetitive dysfunctional patterns in your relationships, such as always being the one who is being cheated on. Believing that your partners will be unfaithful, and always fearing for the worst, can become like a magnet for cheating in every new relationship. The negative expectations and fearful energy we put into a relationship from the very beginning will eventually catch up with us.
To break these toxic energy patterns, we have to enter a new relationship with an open, fearless heart, trusting that if the Universe guided us towards meeting this person, then there must be a good reason for it.
So, why not let go, and let Spirit, God, Source, Universe, the Divine guide you towards your highest good? Have faith, and just trust the process! If your own energies are confident, hopeful, and positive, then life around you will unfold organically as it must. Stop analyzing and trying to control everything, and allow life energy to flow where it will for your highest good.
Laughter Is A Spiritual Superpower
I believe there are energies on this planet that feed off lower vibrations caused by fear, anger, depression, anxiety, jealousy, perversion, and hate. The more time we spend in such lower frequencies, the more we will attract even more of those negative energies.
On the opposite end of the energy spectrum, there is joy, love, forgiveness, light , positive thinking, and laughter that keep us in a higher vibration. Laughter is in fact one of the most powerful ways to raise our energy vibration. It even helps to heal our physical body and keeps our mind clear and our thoughts positive. It can be like a life raft that keeps us sane in a somewhat crazy world.
A sure sign that someone is going over to the ‘dark side,’ is when they lose their sense of humor. I’ve had friends who used to have a great sense of humor, until they were sucked into a dark mental state, some of them also using alcohol or drugs to self-medicate (which dramatically lowers our vibration). It’s quite alarming to witness the profound change in them. No more joking or upbeat banter. No more laughter. Not even a smile. Nothing.
I have a long-time friend who lately shows a complete lack of emotional connection. The first time I noticed this change with her was when realized she had stopped making jokes. She also stopped laughing at my jokes.
Throughout our friendship we have always relied on our like-minded sense of humor to deal with life’s challenges. We had used our sense of humor to manage the ridiculousness in life, and even our own dysfunctional behavior. Nothing is healthier than to be able to laugh at yourself!
But then she started losing empathy and interest in others. She increasingly became emotionally unavailable and dissociated. It has been sad and scary process to see my friend’s vibrant personality slowly fading. I have tried to reach out and lift her spirits, but she only checks in briefly from time to time, and then disappears again into the shadows.
Spiritual Enlightenment Is Not A Fireworks Display
Many seekers desire spiritual fulfillment, or yearn for enlightenment, assuming it would instantly bring them wisdom, inner peace, and serenity. But instead, true spiritual growth is often delivered in challenging ways we never expected.
Increased spiritual growth often begins with life-altering events, unsettling discoveries, or distressing insights – such as realizing what has really been holding you back from attaining spiritual fulfilment. These learning curves can show up in many ways. For example, as an unexpected ending of a relationship, a health crisis, or the loss of a loved one.
Often, it shows up in the form of disruptive events that expose dysfunctional thought or behavior patterns that have been stifling your mental freedom, or a toxic mindset that has been hindering your ability to see clearly to break free from limiting beliefs and self-sabotage.
The term ‘spiritual enlightenment’ is used very loosely these days and has become a confusing concept to many people. The truth is that authentic spiritual enlightenment is actually not a very big deal. It is seldom the ‘fireworks display’ that our egos might want it to be.
Spiritual accomplishment is nothing to be prideful or boastful about. It is actually a very quiet process; inward and intimate. People who go through this process in an authentic way, report the experience as being a modest, intuitive alignment, rather than a dramatic breakthrough of profound elation.
Only once we have improved our intuitive alignment, are we subtly encouraged by spirit to not to stop there, but to muster up the courage to take further steps in our spiritual growth and evolution. We become increasingly self-aware and are able to assess what we may have done to contribute to the disappointments in our life, and how these dysfunctional patterns may have started.
The Magic Of Living Your Truth
Where does magic come from? And, if we’re magical, can we lose our magic? We’re all born magical creatures. We also have integrity right from the moment we take our first breath. You may ask, what does integrity have to do with magic? Well, everything!
However, immediately upon emerging from the birth canal, mainstream society starts imprinting upon us its cultural view points, customs and traditions. Often, they become a kind of law that has been adopted over many generations, even entire epochs in our evolution as human beings, and due to ‘group think‘ we are discouraged from questioning their origin, much less their validity.
Group think happens when the desire for harmony or conformity dominates, leading to irrational and dysfunctional choices, decisions and behaviours simply for the sake of comforming.
An example that comes to mind is the statement that we have probably all used at one time or another: “Oh, I’ll just follow the rule of thumb.” However, we would never make such a statement if we were aware of its origins: this was what men used to say when they were using a stick to punish their wife! By law, the instrument for abuse could only be as big around as the husband’s thumb.
Another senseless tradition that comes to mind is why men wear neck ties. Before the advent of computers enabled us to Google our curiosities, I often thought about how glad I am to be a woman, if for no other reason than I don’t have to wear a necktie. Now, I have to admit that I’m “over the top” regarding many time-tested, and supposedly true forms of bondage. I don’t even like to wear shoes that make my feet feel closed in, so imagine my feelings about effectively placing a noose around my neck. Ay, ay, no way!