Actions Speak Louder Than Words!

Actions are key in a relationship of any kind, whether it be with family, friends, co-workers, romantic partners, or spouses. Actions indeed speak louder than words! Our behavior and deeds reveal who we truly are. If I was only allowed to offer my clients one piece of relationship advice for the rest of my life, then this would be it: trust what they do, not what they say.

Here is how to look at it. Let’s say you have arranged to go on a date with someone, but they do not show up, and they have all kinds of excuses later.  Okay, life happens. So, they did not notify you of their no-show, and they did not care about your feelings in contacting you. Not good. I am not saying dump them right away, but carefully consider how they handled the situation with you.  Do they at least appear to care?

This may be a pattern of theirs, so here is where you already need to start watching their actions more carefully. This event may have been due to a random set of unfortunate circumstances beyond their control, or it is an early ‘red flag’ of who they really are. If someone is okay with disappointing or hurting you with the little things, they will have no problem doing the same someday when it truly matters.

Here is another example that I often find in readings: cheating. Let’s say your boyfriend cheated once, and you caught them. He is all upset with himself, and you guys talk it out. He promises he will never do it again. Now, it is one thing for him to say it, but quite another for him to actually keep his word! His future actions will ultimately reveal the truth. If he repeats the same behavior, then his cheating is not just a mistake or a red flag – it is a dealbreaker!

Measure a man’s worth by his actions alone. For the devil also promises the moon! ~ Avijeet Das

Their actions cannot change if they are merely revealing who they truly are. But you do have the choice to break the cycle and remain true to who you are and what you deserve. You can choose to remain true to your hopes, needs and dreams. Too many people stay in bad situations and allow others to mistreat them or take advantage of them. This can only happen if you let them. Find the inner strength, courage and self-love to break free and move on.

It is not easy, because when we love someone, we want to protect them. Try not to fall into the trap of making excuses for others.  Justifying their behavior does not serve you, or them.

Actions are vital to watch in any relationship. It will always show you who they are as a person, in every way. People will always show you who they are. Believe them when they do.