depression
Are You Holding On To The Wrong Person?
Many of the questions that callers ask me during readings have one thing in common: how another person is affecting the their health, happiness, and peace of mind.
Despite the differences in the details, the underlying story is often the same: the person’s inner light is dimmed because they have been giving too much power to another person’s choices, moods, or shortcomings.
Many people seem to be in the wrong relationships. They hold on, waiting for things to change and hoping for the best. They postpone plans, silence their own needs and preferences, and test the limits of their patience, believing that a breakthrough will come tomorrow.
However, that is usually not what happens. People do not change for another person, and if they do, it never lasts or works out in the long run. A change driven by the need to please someone else rarely survives the stress of real life. As soon as complications arise, old habits resurface. People can only change for themselves.
Spirit’s guidance on this is always very clear: hanging onto the wrong person — whether a friend, family member, spouse, partner, lover, or boss — prevents us from experiencing the best life has to offer.
When we’re busy monitoring someone else’s actions, we have less capacity for our own personal and spiritual growth. This prevents the amazing blessings waiting for us from coming in, not because the universe is ‘stingy,’ but because our time and attention are fully booked.
Navigating The Sacred Journey Of Grief
As a psychic medium, I have spent decades bearing witness to the immense and complex journey of grief.
Over the years, I’ve learned that grief has many faces and forms. It is not only about death and dying. It can arise from various types of loss, such as the loss of a pet, the end of a relationship, a change in life path, the loss of a job, or moving away from a beloved home.
My clients often tell me, “My heart has a hole in it,” or “It feels like my heart has been torn apart.”
These aren’t just metaphors. Grief can feel so intense that it seems like a physical injury — like a ‘heart attack’ of the soul. Grief reverberates through our heart, mind, body, and spirit, leaving no part of us untouched.
One of the most important truths I’ve learned is that grief is deeply personal. No two people experience it in the same way. There is no “normal” way to grieve or a fixed timeline.
Some people begin to feel a little lighter after a few weeks or months, while for others, the sorrow lingers for years or even decades. And that’s okay.
Grieving means you loved deeply, cared sincerely, and connected profoundly. It is not just about saying goodbye, but also about building a new relationship with their absence — one that carries forward the love in a different way.
Embracing The Shadow Within
When I first began to intentionally and consciously walk a spiritual path, I remember doing so because it just felt so right. Every step I took toward ‘enlightenment’ in this lifetime seemed to bring more brightness into my life, and so many more blessings.
In those early days I was really rolling! I was expecting this to be an easy ride – all joy and light and love. It was wonderful.
What I hadn’t expected was the inevitable emergence of my shadow through as a result of all my spiritual work. And it was not something I was going to be comfortable with – admitting I had places of darkness within me, unloved aspects of myself, disowned pieces of my soul which had been abandoned and in such pain.
Through a series of, what seemed like, unfortunate events, I was given opportunities to face my shadow side. Challenges in relationships with friends and loved ones arose. I couldn’t understand it at first, and felt very alone and misunderstood. I was shifting the blame for this onto the people around me, instead of going inward.
Going inward, into the light, was totally okay, but going inward into the darkness was terrifying. My ego-self raised every defense to keep me from going there. Eventually, I could avoid it no longer.
My life at this point had endured tremendous change in the course of only a few years- so much so, that the entire landscape of my existence and the people in it were now different. While many of the changes were positive, the magnitude of the differences between my ‘old life’ and my ‘new life’ forced me into robust self-reflection.
Protect Yourself From Toxic Emotional Influences
A client I read for once told me that he chose to be a loner because people always wanted something from him. “People either want money from me or they want to bend my ear with their problems,” he said. This statement struck a deep chord with me.
Over the years, I have noticed a significant increase in clients asking how to protect their energy. I find more people are becoming aware of how they are spiritually affected by others, especially those who bring negativity into their home or work environment.
I have had callers tell me how they come home from work exhausted – not from work, but from a toxic work environment. Even a simple telephone conversation can be draining if the person on the other end is met with an outpouring of worry, complaint, or anger. I dare not even mention the many toxic energy pitfalls of today’s dating scene!
I firmly believe that the influence of toxic energy on our systems is vastly underestimated in our daily lives. Our endocrine and nervous systems are particularly affected by our thoughts, actions, and interactions with others. A lack of emotional balance and a concern to avoid unnecessary toxic energy has undoubtedly become a priority.
Years ago in South Africa, I consulted a brilliant homeopath for what turned out to be an overactive thyroid. He diagnosed my condition using reflexology and his medical intuition. After the diagnosis, he said to me: “I’m going to give you some muti (a Zulu word for traditional medicine used in southern Africa). But until you sort out your emotional situation, it’s probably not going to make much difference.”
What To Do When A Lost Love Lingers
Many of the readings I do are about love and relationships, and a good percentage of them are about past relationships that continue to linger in the hearts and minds of some callers.
For some people there are often constant, even obsessive thoughts about a former partner, a longing for a second chance, or bitterness and regret for time and energy that now seems wasted. The longer and more intense the relationship, the more battle scars and wounds there often are.
If it was a soulmate or twinflame connection, the aftermath can be especially devastating. The relationship has ended and the connection has been severed in this lifetime. This can be very painful. You know you gave it your all. You hung in there for years, or you made heroic efforts to ensure the survival of the relationship, but it did not work out as you had hoped.
If you are highly sensitive and intuitively aware, you may still be picking up the energy of your former partner, which can be very painful, disturbing and disruptive. Unresolved energetic connections can keep you stuck in a repetitive cycle of repeating the same pattern with that person, or put you on hold, unable to move forward in peace and confidence.
I am often asked, “Is it really over?” or “Does he still have feelings for me?” Of course, the answer depends on the unique circumstances.
Forgiving Yourself Is A Spiritual Necessity
Self-forgiveness is more than just a mental health recommendation – it is a spiritual necessity. It is vital for the spiritually aware person to release guilt, self-blame, and self-criticism, because forgiving oneself is crucial to both personal well-being and spiritual progress. It allows for healing, growth, and the ability to live a more fulfilling and harmonious life.
Failure to forgive ourselves can have profound personal and spiritual side effects. Carrying guilt and self-blame leads to chronic emotional distress and contributes to anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. Over time, this can manifest itself in physical symptoms such as headaches, fatigue, or even chronic illness.
A lack of self-forgiveness undermines self-worth and hinders personal growth and development. Difficulty forgiving yourself also strains your relationships with others, as it can lead to withdrawal, defensiveness, or projecting negativity onto those around you. Without forgiveness, our negative feelings toward ourselves can fester and damage even our most cherished relationships with our loved ones and friends.
Holding onto guilt and self-blame blocks the flow of positive energy through the chakras and hinders spiritual well-being. For example, guilt often stagnates in the solar plexus chakra, affecting one’s sense of personal power. Self-forgiveness is essential for clearing such blockages in the energy field.
Forgiveness is also essential to achieving inner peace and harmony. Without it, one can experience constant inner turmoil and restlessness. When we hold onto guilt, shame, or self-blame, parts of our spiritual essence or inner divinity are suppressed or disconnected. It causes separation from one’s spiritual path or a sense of disconnection from spirit and the divine.
Why You Should Keep A Dream Journal
Keeping a dream journal is incredibly valuable in a spiritually conscious lifestyle. While some view dreams as mere reflections of daily experiences or fleeting mental wanderings, those of us in the know realize that they are so much more than that.
From my professional perspective, dreams serve as a bridge between the material world and the spiritual realm. They offer a unique opportunity to connect with deeper truths and divine light, helping to keep our souls in alignment.
By documenting our dreams, we create a personal record of these valuable encounters, enabling us to discern patterns, messages, and insights that might otherwise go unnoticed.
I cannot imagine how challenging it would be if we had to go without dreaming for an extended period of time. In my experience, it is a vital part of our spiritual well-being and life journey, and experts believe it is also crucial to our mental and physical well-being.
The absence of dreams can lead to a disconnection from our inner self and spiritual guidance, often manifesting as stress, depression, and deteriorating health.
Additionally, many people struggle to remember their dreams or mistakenly believe they never dream at all, missing out on the rich, transformative experiences that dreams offer.
The astral and etheric realm is where we interact with both deceased and living loved ones. In dreams, we also explore these higher realms that are inaccessible during our waking hours. The silver cord that connects our souls to our bodies ensures our safe return each morning—or whenever we wake up. This cord is infinite, stretching as far as we wish to travel, symbolizing our boundless potential to explore and grow through the dream state.