Always Feel Free To Own Your True Feelings

Has anyone ever told you that you are too happy? Or has anyone ever told you that you smile too much? My guess is probably never.

So, why is it that whenever we experience negative emotions, be it grief, despair, or depression, we are often told that there is a time limit to such feelings and that we need to get over it. In today’s society, it is essentially also taboo to express feelings of loneliness, sadness, fear, or simply being unhappy.

My brother died at the tender age of 12 and left such a void in our lives that my entire family grieved his loss for decades. Fortunately, we were raised to accept this as a perfectly normal and natural process for us. We all understood that we would work through our feelings of grief and loss in our own way and at our own pace. We did not grieve according to a schedule or set of societal rules.

I find that a useful way to think about feelings and how to process them is to think of our emotions as being processed by our heart and mind like food is processed by our body. Just like food, we need to break down, digest, and assimilate the lessons and insights in our emotions to serve as growth “nutrients” for the soul.

And just as no one needs to tell your body what to do or how to digest the food you eat, there is no need for anyone to tell you how to process your emotions. We all have our own innate process that is perfect for each of us as an individual and serves us in a perfect, natural order. But when an outside influence or source tries to interfere, even with the best of intentions, things often start to go wrong.

Never apologize for showing feelings. When you do so, you apologize for the truth ~ Benjamin Disraeli

The feelings we are supposed to suppress have to go somewhere. They don’t just evaporate if we ignore them. Instead, they are stored deep in the subconscious mind and in our cellular memories, and if they are not allowed to be processed and released in a natural way, they will fester and become malignant until they find a way to resolve themselves, while causing great harm to the health of one’s mind and body in the process.

When we came into this existence, into this particular dimension, one of the assets we came with was the ability to have and own our thoughts and feelings in all circumstances. When did it become a liability to express negative emotions? How did they become positive or negative in the first place? Who decided for us that it was okay to feel happy, but not okay to feel sad?

Our ancestors were lucky. They were privileged when it came to expressing their true feelings because they had communal practices and rituals that provided socially accepted ways of expressing and processing emotions such as grief, anger, and sadness. These practices played a critical role in the social fabric and psychological well-being of the tribe or community.

In traditional societies, community gatherings and rituals were integral to the processing of emotions. When someone experienced loss or hardship, the community would come together to share in the grief. Rituals and ceremonies provided a framework for collectively expressing these emotions, strengthening social bonds and providing a sense of belonging and support.

Many cultures had specific customs and traditions for grieving or dealing with difficult emotions. These customs often included periods of mourning, specific rituals, and practices designed to honor the deceased or acknowledge personal struggles. These activities were not just individual experiences, but shared community events that helped people cope with difficult emotions in a supportive environment.

Living in close-knit communities also allowed for more immediate and ongoing support. There was less stigma attached to expressing vulnerability or sadness because these emotions were understood and respected as universal human experiences.

You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to ~ Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

In contrast, modern society places a premium on positivity and productivity, which can make it very difficult to openly express and process our negative emotions in a healthy way. There’s a lot of pressure in society for us to always project happiness, vitality, and success, while suppressing or downplaying feelings of sadness, despair, or fear. Expressing negative emotions is seen as a sign of weakness or failure.

Today, we must deal with our feelings in private, rather than in social and public settings. This isolation then contributes further to the negative emotions we experience and makes it more difficult to seek or receive support. There is also still a great deal of stigma surrounding mental health issues, even in the most progressive circles and nations, which further discourages people who are suffering from seeking help or openly sharing their struggles.

I encourage you to decipher for yourself what you are feeling and allow yourself the personal timeframe for those feelings to be digested and released as you intuitively feel they should be. Never let anyone tell you how you should feel, or how long it should last, or that you should “snap out of” or “move on” form something you are deeply feeling.

The more we act in ways that are natural and true to our nature, the healthier we become. Always be free to own and express your true feelings.