News and Views From The Psychic Access Community

victim mentality

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Facing Yourself As The Other In Your Relationship

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comRelationships are funny things. They are by their very nature designed to elicit the best and worst from the individuals involved in them.

Although it may appear in a relationship as if you are involved with another distinct person, you are, in fact involved with an underlying, obscured part of yourself, which needs identifying and relating to. With appropriate understanding and recognition, you can see your way clear to an insightful experience.

Once having subjected yourself to the nebulous involvement, you will no longer need to refer to your actions with dread of ‘doing the wrong thing,’ or suffering unnecessary hurt. You will comprehend that it is impossible to avoid anything and there is no guarantee associated with the leap into the depths of your own foreboding abyss.

The fact of the matter is that you will emerge unscathed and filled with unmistakable self-knowledge and power attached to the plummeting into the relational depths of tense despair. By facing both the dark side and light side of your vehemently nervous, fretful mind, you will be freed from the bonds of panic and contentious worry that forever plague you.

Your undisclosed, insecure personality, as revealed in the other person, is laden with criticism, negativity and lack of confidence, based upon the premise of unawareness. The guilt, anxiety, and duty you have attached to personal responsibility in the outcome of the relationship is nothing short of nauseating. You are not that important in the material scope of things.

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The Pretense Of Hyper-Sensitivity

Click Here for a FREE psychic reading right now at PsychicAccess.comOnce we realize we have been misunderstood in one of our casual remarks, we typically try to immediately turn it around,. We try to add a more agreeable flavor, in the hopes that the offended or confused person will take it as a well-intended supported compliment. It’s usually rather ridiculous, really, but nonetheless in these situations we continue to ‘make certain’ we are not seen in a controversial manner, or in a ‘bad light.’

When such an ambiguous occasion arises, we are perfectly aware of what we are doing and how we are doing it. But, does that make one bit of difference to us? No. If we were not nearly so phony and apologetic in our deference, we may even get a lucid glimpse of what we were really saying, along with the motivation behind our attempts to butter up the other.

What exactly is it that we are hoping to accomplish? Why is it important to remain on a level of satisfactory exchange with the other, in fear of upsetting them? Do not these innuendos ring a melody of falsity? Does not the planted, erect knife in the butter fall once the butter melts?

In other words, what is hidden in the relationships we feel so insecure about, and in need of continuing such a façade of nicety?

We work so hard to maintain the supposed idea of decency we have long since cherished, nurtured and polished in our own minds. We do nothing to upset the apple cart. And, when an unsuspecting, misunderstood statement is made, maybe even in jest, we immediately try to reabsorb the awkwardness left behind. We feel we must absolve ourselves in the light of the other, and will actually go out on a thin brittle limb of more flattery, in hopes it won’t snap to reveal our embarrassment.

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Reclaim Your Power And Value

Click Here for a FREE psychic reading right now at PsychicAccess.comWhen we allow our mind to accept the fact that we are a valuable person, knowing that we are here for a reason, we can start owning and reclaiming our purpose and power. We are valuable and our life matters.

Sometimes we are scared of our power. When we start creating things and watch things unfold, we can begin sabotaging ourselves. If things start to go wrong, our mind starts to spin out to negative future possibilities and past failures. We use our power against ourselves.

We are meant to expand through this life with joy. We did not plan to have struggles and crisis without end before we came here. Some of our ancestors and family members have experienced this, but we have knowledge, information and the power to change this. They were all doing the best they could with what they knew at the time. But we now know better.

When we are born into this world there is a spiritual ‘forgetting.’ As we grow and develop we take on the values, fears and beliefs of our family, teachers, friends, experiences or the environment around us. We forget the power we each were given. It’s our birthright.

We have always had this power within. We can waste it on suffering, which it takes a lot of energy. It’s exhausting and creates stress, which manifests in our body, mind, spirit, and then in our world. Or we can use it for joy, and goodness in what we create.

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Kindness Begins With Greater Self-Care

Click Here for a FREE psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comIn a world where you can be anything, be kind. And kindness starts with being kind to yourself. When we are not kind to ourselves, we cannot be kind to others, and others will also be unkind to us! When we are not kind to ourselves we allow that type of behavior, be it from a spouse, sibling, friend, or relative.

So, kindness really starts with us. When we are kind to ourselves, the domino effect is that we are happier, healthier and more energized. When we are not carving out time for self-care, we are not being kind to ourselves, and cannot truly be kind to others.

Sometimes people can be unkind not even realizing it. How is that? Well, by playing the part of the victim, or acting like others are responsible for their happiness or contentment. They make others feel guilty, because they are putting their problems upon others, without realizing that it is often their own self-made issues.

Everyone has free will. We are ultimately where we choose to put ourselves. In the end no one else is to blame. Period.

A vital aspect of self-kindness is to employ healthy boundaries when others make us feel bad, because they are sad and unhappy. When we take better care of ourselves and come in alignment with our soul, body and mind, we can recognize this. You are not put upon this Earth to energetically fill up the cups of others. Learn to say no, and learn to stand up for yourself when others try to take advantage of you. This is one important way of being kind to yourself.

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Feeling Like You’re Not Good Enough

Click Here for a FREE psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comSometimes we put our heart and soul into a relationship, only to get cheated on, or dumped for no reason. The main question that usually comes to mind in this type of situation is, “Why am I not good enough?”

Take a moment and consider the relationships of relatives and friends, who have gone through similar a experience. Some people are able to jump right up and move forward, while others sit and wallow in self-doubt and self-loathing – sometimes for years.

Working with many people over the years, one of the biggest eye openers for me has been that it is typically the partner who is left behind, and then struggles to move forward, who compromised the most in the relationship. They usually gave, and gave, and gave, and didn’t receive much in return. Their needs always took a backseat in the relationship. They would sacrifice more and more, until there was nothing left for them to give, while their partner did not change and simply kept using and abusing them.

If you constantly compromise on what you really want from a relationship, the union will at some point simply disintegrate.  The other person is never going to magically become someone different. That person you hoped they would become, after you moved in, or after you gave a little more, or after you married them, or after you had a child with them…never shows up. What you see in someone from the start, is simply who they are.

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Making The Most Of Pisces Season

CLICK HERE for a FREE psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comToday we are entering Pisces season. The Sun moves into the zodiac sign of Pisces every year from February 18th through March 20th, and activates our compassion, intuition and imagination. This is a cycle where we are able to get in touch with our deeper emotions and heal any issues that might be weighing us down.

Pisces is a mutable, water sign, which allows us to be more flexible and go with the flow of the Universe. Now is not the best time for planning and taking action, but great for reflection, journaling, artistic expression and dreaming.

Technically, Pisces is the last sign of the zodiac and shows us the accumulation of what we have learned in the past year. It also helps us release in order to prepare for the next cycle in Aries.

The negative aspects of Pisces brings up addiction issues, escapism, delusions, being overly sensitive and falling into a victim mentality. It can seem like we are swimming in circles in this period, so acknowledging our direction and any imbalances are vital.

The Sun in Pisces is also a good time to get in touch with our bodies, and to detoxify with lots of water, fresh whole foods, and upgrading our self-care routine. If you are unsure of where to start with exercise, more gentle movement activities, like Tai Chi, Yoga, Pilates or swimming in a body of water, will help create re-connection. It is all about taking your time and accepting where you are in your life.

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Accountability Is Healing, Not Shaming

Click Here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comI could have never come this far in life all by myself, even with the help of Spirit. I needed, and still need, other skilled humans with a spiritual practice and evidence of their own balanced life, to help me see myself and my life in a way my wounded mind and psyche could have never comprehended on its own. Those mentors also gave me tools I didn’t even know existed, or if I did, I couldn’t put them to good use without their help. My spiritual teacher saved my life, more than once.

Yes, for our own sake we all need to be willing and able to receive assistance, instruction and guidance. When you are wounded, and especially when you are so wounded you don’t yet even know how wounded your are, because you have never examined your life and all you know are your wounds, Spirit can open a door for you. However you need to have the courage to step into the discomfort and do the work. And Spirit sends us humans to help us with this healing process.

Whenever we are introduced to new ideas, or encouraged to experience new feelings, it sometimes feels ‘abusive’ or ‘intrusive’ simply because we are often terrified of the unknown. This is true for most people. One may also feel distressed when a skilled therapist or spiritual teacher is, with your permission, showing you how to break down that ‘titanium wall’ you built to protect yourself from unhealed internal wounds.

It may also feel unsettling, when you allow yourself to be more open and vulnerable with a skilled teacher or healer, because in the past vulnerability led to pain. So, now you have control issues that you think are keeping you safe from harm, but are in fact only strangling you.

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