self-reflection
Only You Can Heal A Recurring Emotional Injury
We are all negatively impacted at times by certain events or people causing us emotional hurt and trauma.
If this is something that is currently weighing on your mind and you feel emotionally injured or overwhelmed today, then the following strategies may help you to overcome the recent setback you suffered.
Not only can these three steps help you to better deal with your current emotional injury, but it can also bring about lasting positive change in your life.
Step 1: Feeling Through
It is vital to process negative emotions. You should never try to suppress or repress unpleasant feelings. It is important that you allow yourself to fully feel your current emotion. Don’t think or rationalize, just feel.
Let the tears of sadness flow, lean into the fear or anxious feelings, or embrace the anger and disappointed. To process and ultimately resolve these feelings, we must first truly feel them.
However, do not spend too much time in this stage of the process. Truly feeling your negative emotions does not mean you must obsess over it or constantly dwell on it. A few hours, or at most a day or two, then let it go! Do not let it drag on for weeks or months, because this will not heal you and will only have a counterproductive effect. After the one-time ‘feeling through’, it is time to move on to the next stage.
Finding Peace In Your Natural State
While doing a nature hike the other day, the thought occurred to me that we all come from nature, and we eventually also return to nature. This may be why we tend to feel so calm and peaceful when we are out in nature. When we smell a flower, hug a tree, or put our feet in the dirt, it reconnects us to our natural state and brings us back into balance.
It has been scientifically proven that we essentially consist of ‘stardust.’ Our physical body is made of elements that were formed in the stars over the course of billions of years. Our bodies have about 97 percent of the same kind of atoms as that found in the galaxy. As the rock band Kansas so aptly proclaims, “Nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky. It slips away and all your money won’t another minute buy. Dust in the wind. All we are is dust in the wind.”
When you look up at the stars in a clear night sky, especially if you’re in a place where the air is clean and at a higher altitude, one can sometimes see the milky way. In such a moment of awe and wonder, it seems to me as if all time stands still. One’s everyday worries seem miniscule and trivial in comparison to the magnificent vastness and endless beauty of the cosmos.
Our connection to nature further brings to mind the classical elements of earth, water, air, fire, and aether that is still observed in various spiritual traditions, such as Ayurveda, Wicca and Gnosticism. Our existence in this life is essentially a magical alchemy of these elements.
In today’s world we tend to focus so much on how things should be, instead of how they actually are. Maybe much of our modern discontent stems from straying so far away from our natural state of being?
Putting Yourself In Time-Out Can Be A Blessing!
When children and teenagers do something that really ticks off their parents, what do they get? Well, they get grounded, or put in time-out, of course! That’s right, kids are given an opportunity to think about the errors of their ways, learn from their mistakes and protect them from their own bad choices.
I remember one day, when I was still a teenager and I was really, really wanting to go out with a frien. She knew a cute boy who just got his own car. They were going to go cruising down this stretch of road that was popular with the local cool kids. I wanted to go so badly, but I got grounded and I was really upset.
But strangely, I also somehow felt relieved that I couldn’t go that day. I sensed that something bad might happen if I did. My mother told me the next day that the boy was tragically killed in an accident with his new car. I would have been with him in the car that night, had I gone out with them. I was only 15 years old at the time, and my life would have been over, or forever changed. I was so glad that my mother grounded me for my own good and that I was still healthy and alive.
I can think of a few times I experienced divine intervention in this way. Since that day there have been several times in my life that I intuitively decided to say no to opportunities, invitations, and even temptations. There are in fact occasions noted in personal journals when I had opted to do something else than was in the offering by way of friends or acquaintances. Later it would become clear that I probably would not have enjoyed myself very much anyway, or I may not have even lived to tell the tale!
Many times, by simply paying attention to the little voice within that says to me, “Get up and leave now,” or acknowledging my negative feelings regarding a certain person, place or situation, I have avoided much trouble in my life.
The True Power Of Words
What if a change as simple as the words you use could vastly improve your relationships with loved ones? And not just your choice of words, but also the tone and delivery. Healthy, successful relationships require constructive communication and often our relationships fail on our words alone.
Many people fall in love over time purely through conversations they have with each other. Relationships are usually ended with words alone, especially these days when getting unceremoniously dumped via text message is becoming increasingly common. Our choice of words and how we communicate them can evoke waves of joy and happiness, or they can cut like a knife.
We tend to take for granted the people in our lives. We become lazy and complacent and forget to express our gratitude and appreciation for the relationships we have with loved ones. It is vitally important that we adopt better, more spiritual ways to communicate with people who matter to us.
Have you ever stopped to think about the words you use with your loved ones? You most likely speak somewhat differently to total strangers. Or your choice of words is no longer what they used to when you were in love and the relationship was brand new. And how about the words we use when we talk to our children; are we uplifting and encouraging them, or causing them lifelong trauma?
Too often we say things we later wish we can take back. But if we always aim to think before we speak, and seek to choose the very best words, tone, and delivery, then we are much more likely to build the kind of relationships we desire and deserve.
A Time For Mindful Reflection
As the leaves begin to fall and the weather changes, I am reminded that change is a natural part of life. As the seasons change, it is natural for us to also shift and adapt, as our ancestors did for millennia.
Many years ago, a martial artist reminded me that when facing a difficult challenge in life that we are not able to avoid or change, we can still alter our view of the situation and find new meaning and resolution. What seems like the harshest challenges in our lives are often blessings in disguise. It often gifts us the opportunity to move forward and grow by changing that which no longer serves our true purpose and highest good.
We are living in an extraordinary time where natural forces are increasingly reminding us to become more responsible custodians of the environment that hosts our species. We must also become better stewards of the glorious physical temples that house our souls. The key to this is mindfulness. By adopting a mindful lifestyle, greater planetary care and self-care becomes second nature to us, and both our own lives and the world we live in will benefit exponentially.
Mindfulness allows us to be present in each moment, appreciating the beauty of constant change and the natural cycles of life even as it happens. When we become still and centered, we connect more deeply with ourselves and the world around us.
An endless array of spiritual practices and self-care endeavours, such as prayer, meditation, gratitude journaling and charitable volunteering can help us find peace despite any great change or challenge that may be confronting us. Make the effort to find your own desired outlet for connecting to your inner peace, as this undertaking will lead to a lasting fulfilment and joy that you can hold on to at any time throughout your lifetime. Continue reading
Blessed Are The Kind And Helpful
September is Virgo season! What better time to consider becoming a better person by being more compassionate and supportive to others in need? Virgos are known for being helpful, kind, sympathetic, and someone others can lean on.
Virgo happens to be my Sun sign, so I have a bias here. But seriously, nothing is more rewarding than to be of service. Nothing blesses us more than helping to make the world a better place.
We owe it to ourselves and others to be of service. Because once we are truly there for others, we soon begin to notice undeserved joys and blessings filling our wellspring of abundance every day.
When we are kind, helpful and of service to others we begin to draw more beneficial energy to us, and lose track of the need to count money at the table as it comes in. Work is simply fun! Others see our joy and inspire towards similar goals in their own lives.
Those who are unkind or disregard the needs of others, even treating others as their emotional punching bags, eventually have a heavy karmic duty to repay. Being selfish, narcissistic, and cruel are the sources of much misery, anxiety and self-destructive, addictive behaviors in many people’s lives. It simply does not pay to be callous and uncharitable.
Of course, we all have our self-absorbed ‘bad days,’ because none of us are perfect. But we do an inventory at the end of the day, reflecting on how our conduct may have made others feel.
Create a sacred space in your home where you may atone for your missteps; peaceful area where you may recite a daily intention for grace. Equip this space with an essential oil diffuser or incense burner, candles, crystals and gemstones, oracle cards or runes, prayer beads, singing bowls, personal mementos, photos of loved ones, artwork, and other symbolic items.
Honor Your True Self Without The Drama
Many of people spend a good portion of their lives trying to be who they think others expect them to be. Although it is important for our own safety and peace of mind to conform and abide by society’s customs and codes of conduct, it is also imperative that we feel free to authentically express ourselves – as long as it is not detrimental to the well-being of others.
These days it can be treacherous to speak your mind or express your true feelings in just about any context, but the most troublesome of places to do this is on social media platforms, where faceless strangers often attack each other mercilessly, and at times for no apparent reason.
Instead of exposing oneself publicly to the vitriol and ill-conceived opinions of random strangers, it is best to be true to ourselves within our personal circle of influence. Being yourself and living and authentic life does not require us to announce our true thoughts and innermost feelings to the entire world.
Of course, expressing your truth to those closest to us can be equally difficult. One key to successfully communicating is to truly listen with respect and consideration to the views of others. Often, we do not really hear what is being said, because we are frantically thinking of our own response to what we assume they are saying.
Actively listening to someone explaining their position can be a real test of patience sometimes, but it usually pays off in the end by way of mutual understanding, conflict resolution, or compromise.
Disagreeing without hostility and aggression is an art in itself. The world we currently live in can be a tinder box at times, with people overreacting to even the smallest perceived slight. We cannot control the beliefs, words and actions of others, but we can certainly manage our own.