self-reflection
The What-ifs That Go Bump In The Night
When I grow up, I want to be a lightworker! Okay, so I’ve grown up and I’ve been a psychic and healer for many years. The question now is, how do I take back, or erase from my mind’s eye all that I’ve seen? ‘Wounded healer, heal thyself’ is a very old truth, which still holds merit after many years of being bandied about.
Perhaps today it is more true than ever. In today’s world we are dealing with much more fear and what-ifs than ever before in our lifetime. Someone, or something, somewhere – the news media for one – is always preying on our fears. Panic and perpetual fear is the name of the game for many in our world these days.
Psychics, astrologers, mediums, diviners, and energy healers, among other, are known by the universal term ‘lightworkers.’ This is ironic, considering we often have to delve into the darkest fears of most people head-first, in order to help our fellow humans come to some form of clarity, healing or conclusion.
And what happens when the lightworker’s battery begins to fade from overuse and not enough recharging? Can helping other people face their fears make our own fears and limiting beliefs become larger by proxy, thus causing our own light to dim?
Lightworkers are born healers and teachers. At our core we want to help everyone. We know that inner peace comes from within. However, some of our clients are open to guidance, while others are not. Maybe I only speak for myself as a healer, but those who refuse guidance often haunt me far longer than those who embrace it. They are the ones who keep me up at night. They are the ones who make me doubt and question what I know in my heart to be true, based on my ability to listen to a Higher Power and relay messages spirit wants to share.
Face your fears, I tell myself. Even as a wounded healer, I must continue to face my self-doubt and remember to look upon the bright side: the countless souls whose lives I have been blessed to change and help make into something brighter, better and more fulfilling.
Work Through The Fear, Obligation And Guilt (FOG)
Reflecting on my life I have found how many of my early life experiences have subconsciously influenced me, mostly due to a lack of awareness that allowed fear, a sense of obligation and guilt to remain hidden.
These hidden influences mostly come from my formative years and became obstacles I had to repeatedly struggle with in my adult life with regards relationships, career, finances, family and community.
Once I discovered these non-empowering beliefs, it was time for me to get out of the FOG (Fear, Obligation, Guilt). In hindsight, several things I was unaware of in my family’s dynamics, were actually ‘seeds’ hidden beneath the surface that in time sprouted into personal challenges and self-sabotage.
Fear
Fear and insecurity are frequent visitors for many of us in all areas of life. I was constantly focused on the negative and worst-case scenarios. This is because our brain is wired this way for the purpose of survival. Much of it also depends on our upbringing. So, we must recognize this and catch ourselves early on, in order to shift our thoughts and emotions in a positive direction.
We must be cognitive of our behaviors and explore where in our life we have learned these negative, fear-based responses. Fear is a natural part of life, but can easily become a ‘whack-a-mole’ of frustration, anxiety, uncertainty and indecision, always showing up at the most inconvenient times.
Still Hanging On To The Wrong Person?
Are you still hanging on to the wrong person? I know you adore him. I know you love her. I understand that you believe you are soulmates and ‘meant to be.’
But be aware that your beloved has free will. If they are not exactly alignment with you, no matter how you strongly feel about them, nothing will come of your ‘situationship.’ They are on their own journey and you cannot will someone to be your lover or life partner. It is nothing more than the beginning of a colossal heartbreak.
I have witnessed many love-struck people hang on for years to someone that has either left them for good, or kept stringing them along. Some of them have even married and had children with someone else, and yet, they still hang on. They often fervently believe their love interest will someday return to them and then they will live happily ever after. Well, the truth of the matter is that they will not. The other person has made their choice and walked away for a reason.
This new year, with all that has been going on in the world, it may be time to take a few deep breaths and have a self-reflective moment. Take a good, hard look at your life choices and your relationships.
If you are making unwise, self-sabotaging choices, consider what it may be that is not feeding your soul? What is it that is really missing in your life? Maybe it is time to release what no longer serves you. Simply let it go. Find your inner peace, and just be happy and content with yourself and who you truly are.
As a psychic advisor, I encounter the good, the bad and the ugly. I have seen much trauma and damage done, sometimes almost irreparable, to people in toxic relationships and love obsessions. Marriages of several years simply falling apart or ‘trusted’ partner walking out with zero notice. I have watched many go through failed relationship after failed relationship, always with the same results. The result is always the same: excruciating heartbreak.
When the victims of these bad relationship choices are encouraged to do some soul-searching, to see what it is inside of them that is compelling them to go back to the same type of person, time and time again, they are offended and become angry.
Wishing You A ‘Less-Is-More’ Year In 2021
The year 2020 was challenging, but not all bad. In fact, it helped me to get my life a little more ‘tuned-up.’ I slowed down and really took stock of what is most important.
I was able to spend more time at home, reflecting on what matters most, and getting more in touch with parts of myself that have been neglected for too long. Sometimes there are sacrifices when it comes to enlightenment and I guess that could be said for 2020.
I also had more time for self-care and learning the importance of it. Not just teaching the importance of it, but actually taking some of the tools to bat for myself!
I have also noticed my relationships improved a lot. I stopped communicating with all the energy thieves and psychic vampires, avoided social media, and enhanced those meaningful relationships that needed more love and care.
I do believe I generally live in a very mindful way, with awareness and discernment, but 2020 somehow just helped me see things with clear 20/20 vision on so many levels.
It may seem weird, but actually I do hope 2021 will be somewhat similar – minus the coronavirus, of course, but with continued awareness and clarity. I do not want that aspect of the year to end. It has enhanced my spirituality, health and well-being on so many levels. I think it would be such a missed opportunity to just back to the rat race mentality and start living again with all the usual pressure and stress again.
I am so incredibly grateful for the time spent at home this past year. It has been downright delightful. Who would not get great joy from curling up and spending time with yourself, your cats, and reading cool books?
Embracing The Shadow
When I first began to intentionally and consciously walk a spiritual path, I remember doing so because it just felt so right. Every step I took toward ‘enlightenment’ in this lifetime seemed to bring more brightness into my life, and so many more blessings.
In those early days I was really rolling! I was expecting this to be an easy ride – all joy and light and love. It was wonderful.
What I hadn’t expected was the inevitable emergence of my shadow through as a result of all my spiritual work. And it was not something I was going to be comfortable with – admitting I had places of darkness within me, unloved aspects of myself, disowned pieces of my soul which had been abandoned and in such pain.
Through a series of, what seemed like, unfortunate events, I was given opportunities to face my shadow side. Challenges in relationships with friends and loved ones arose. I couldn’t understand it at first, and felt very alone and misunderstood. I was shifting the blame for this onto the people around me, instead of going inward.
Going inward, into the light, was totally okay, but going inward into the darkness was terrifying. My ego-self raised every defense to keep me from going there. Eventually, I could avoid it no longer.
My life at this point had endured tremendous change in the course of only a few years- so much so, that the entire landscape of my existence and the people in it were now different. While many of the changes were positive, the magnitude of the differences between my ‘old life’ and my ‘new life’ forced me into robust self-reflection.
Where did I want to go with my life? What did I want to do? And who was I going to be? I must admit, these were heavy questions, and I absolutely felt the weight of them. In addition, I was healing from a personal loss, and that was taking more time than I wanted it to.
My ‘aha moment’ came when I was lamenting one day about my relationship with my partner. I had identified that I wanted a deeper level of connection, but felt that he was unwilling to meet me there.
Pay It Forward With Holiday Gratitude
As the year end approaches, most of us would normally be shopping, entertaining and gathering with friends and family to celebrate the various holidays and the New Year. Lots of special food, drink and laughter would also be the order of the day!
With a few exceptions, many of our usual traditions are however being curtailed this year due to the COVID-19 pandemic. This year, at a time when holiday shopping, traditional music and festive lights usually brighten the scene, many of us will have to be low-key and socially distanced, even isolated and alone.
In addition, although many people will be able to celebrate virtually, those with limited access to technology will not, so some loved ones will be forced to limit their contact to the telephone only, or even do without.
It is therefore even more important this year to think of those who will not be able to find an easy way to compromise or ‘make-do’ with alternative online shopping or virtual socializing.
Give thought to those you personally know who may have been cut off from their usual social activities, friends and relatives. Perhaps you can make an extra phone call or two, or send an old-fashioned Christmas card by postal mail, or surprise them with the delivery of an unexpected little gift.
Let just one person outside your intimate family circle know that they are still in your thoughts, even though you cannot visit or see them in person. It can make really make a world of difference for someone who is unable to get out to visit friends, or welcome family this year.
Many people have also lost loved ones in recent months and will be grieving this Christmas, instead of celebrating. If you know someone who is in this predicament, do reach out to them and offer a comforting word and some emotional support. Even just a little can go a very long way!
Slay Those Demons This Festive Season!
In my many years on God’s earth, I can earnestly say I feel I have ‘slain more dragons’ than St. George, ‘cast out more demons’ than the priest in The Exorcist, and conquered much bigger giants than young Jack when he climbed up that beanstalk. I am not hoping to gain sympathy by saying this, but merely to state that if I can put down my personal demons, with Spirit’s help of course, then I could help you do the same.
The year 2020 has been one of far too many challenges for most of us. Some of us have had to deal with unusual difficulties and challenges we may have never encountered otherwise. For me, it began with a cancer scare, then continued with the outbreak of the Covid-19 pandemic, and ended with me supporting my husband through a bout of deep depression. Indeed, 2020 is a year I will never forget, as much as I may want to!
However, my guides have been reminding me that I have also gained some blessings from this year. For one, I would say that my inner resolve has grown much stronger, and my desire to be of service and help others have reached an all-time high.
I am not suggesting that everyone must have reasons to appreciate the challenges this year brought, but as 2020 draws to a close, I do hope that the following practical strategies may help you to ‘slay some demons’ and end this year on a more positive note, in order to start next year with more optimism, hope and joy.
Find An Inspiring Role-Model
The one person who has always given me a sense of strength is the late Martin Luther King. He famously said, “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”
Whenever I am in a difficult, stressful situation, I always ask myself what would Martin Luther King do in my situation? In fact, I even imagine him by my side, giving me all the strength and motivation that I need at any given time. You can do this too by finding yourself a hero or heroine that inspires you.