self-healing
Healing From A Relationship Break-Up
Breaking up with someone can be one of the most difficult experiences in life, especially when it is a long and deeply meaningful relationship. It can feel impossible to see any future without that person and very difficult to move on and find joy in life again.
I find many of my clients do not realize that dealing with a break-up or divorce is very similar to processing the bereavement and grief associated with the passing of a loved one. It is often accompanied by agonizing sorrow, intense feelings of despair, and an all-encompassing sense of loss and confusion.
According to clinical psychologist Dr. Tricia Wolanin it is actually “the death of a relationship, hopes and dreams for the future. The person we are losing was a big part of our world and therefore has taken up so much of our mental and heart space.”
It is however possible to recover, heal and move on after any breakup or divorce. In my work I have found the following strategies to be helpful for clients who go through this kind of life challenge.
Avoid Major Life Decisions
It is usually not a good idea to make any important life decisions if you are working through the aftermath of a breakup. This includes changing your job or career, relocating, or making other drastic changes to your life. It is vital to take some time to heal and reflect on the situation before making hasty life-changing decisions that you may later live to regret.
The Spiritual Wisdom Of Solitude
In the age of digital ‘connection,’ we are becoming more socially disconnected than ever before in human history. In fact, loneliness has become a secret epidemic profoundly affecting many people all over the world. A 2022 study of the prevalence of loneliness across 113 countries found that “problematic levels of loneliness are experienced by a substantial proportion of the population in many countries.”
There is strong evidence that loneliness or social isolation is a serious health risk that increases premature death from all causes, similar to smoking, obesity, and lack of exercise. It is also specifically linked to higher rates of heart failure, dementia, depression, anxiety, and suicide.
Loneliness must however not be confused with solitude, which is in fact a powerful aspect of spiritual practice that has been practiced since the dawn of time.
Loneliness is the feeling of being alone and isolated, regardless the amount of social contact. In other words, social isolation can cause a sense of loneliness in some of us, but we can also feel intensely lonely without being socially isolated. One can feel lonely even when there are many people present in our life.
Solitude, on the other hand, is the conscious choice to be alone, usually for the purpose of personal reflection, recharging one’s energy, spiritual contemplation, or simply enjoyment of your own company. It’s about purposely choosing to be present with yourself, rather than the lack of social connection.
A Message From Grandmother Moon
The Moon is traditionally revered as a beloved relative by the Anishinaabe peoples, a large group of culturally-related indigenous people in the United States and Canada. She is known as Nookomis, or ‘My Grandmother.’ Throughout the ages the elders of Ojibwe, one of the largest tribes of the Anishinaabe, shared with younger generations the creation story of their people.
The legend begins with Manitou, the Great Spirit, who created the Universe by dreaming it into existence. Manitou then decided he wanted to create a special creature like himself who could also dream, imagine and create. But he could not accomplish this on his own. He needed the help of the divine feminine energy of Geezhigo-Quae, the Sky Woman.
So, he ascended to her in the sky and asked her to be the mother of his children. She agreed and came down to earth to give birth to twins on the back of a Great Turtle. She named the boy and the girl ‘Anishinaabe,’ meaning ‘human’ or ‘person’ born from the mind of the Creator.
Before she returned to her home in the sky, Manitou gave her a new name: Nookomis, the Great Mother of the Anishinaabe. Grandmother Moon now lives in the sky world as a nurturing, protective energy watching over her many grandchildren by providing light and reassurance in the darkest of nights.
During my meditation today, I received a message from Grandmother Moon, which I am to carry forward myself this year and share with others who also wish to embrace her guidance. The message I am to share is simply this:
The Spiritual Practice Of Flower Power
Every now and again, I purchase a bouquet of flowers as a gift to myself. Placing a vase of flowers on your home altar or sacred space adds nature-inspired ambiance, brightness, and sensuality to one’s spiritual self-care.
I also love to diffuse the essential oils of flowers, especially when I meditate, but they don’t have the tangibility and energetic beauty of a stunning array of fresh blooms. Analogous to eating whole food versus taking a supplement, fresh flowers represent the wholeness, divine design, and awe-inspiring beauty of Gaia, Mother Nature, our Earth Mother, the Divine Feminine.
Unadulterated, the ‘flower power’ of a beautiful bouquet commands marvelous healing energies, blesses the giver, and inspires bountiful gratitude in the recipient.
The most powerful spiritual practice involving flowers is to plant your own flower garden with perennial varieties, such as tulips, black-eyed susans, and chrysanthemums. With careful planning around the seasonal calendar one can also have different species in bloom at different times throughout the entire year.
Cultivating a thriving garden of flowers is a magnificent form of energy work. It attracts and manifests emotional healing, abundance, and the fulfillment of wishes, especially in aspects of romance, marriage, fertility, and parenthood. By lovingly nurturing and caring for the delicate beauty of living flowers, we invite much love, beauty and abundance into our lives.
The Simple Miracle Cure For Stress
While I was meditating the other day, the voice of an ancestor came to me. It was the spirit of a relative I had personally known when she was in this life. She said, “Why don’t you just rest a little bit honey? Everything is always easier and better after you take a day or two to just rest and recover.”
I cannot say I was surprised by this unusual visitation message. I had indeed been dealing with a lot of stress lately, and I tend to forget that what I really need to do sometimes is to simply stop. Just stop doing whatever it is I feel I have to do. I often do tend to take on more than I am actually required to, and then make matters worse by stressing about it. It’s a free will kind of deal.
My ancestor was right. A timeout would empower me to cope much better and see things in a different perspective. The truth is most of the recent stress in my life is caused by my thinking. It is mostly in my mind and not based in reality.
So, I decided to follow her advice and take a few days off. I turned off my negative thought process, stopped working for a few days, and found constructive ways to clear my mind and relax. I took out a library book to read for entertainment and enjoyment; played with my cats; cooked some delicious comfort food; meditated in the garden, slept late, and allowed myself to just simply enjoy some proper ‘me time.’
Well, it certainly worked like a charm! After just a few days, I felt invigorated, recharged, empowered, and in a much better state of mind. I now realize I had been depleted of energy and especially not getting enough sleep.
The Empowering Symbolism Of The World Card
The World card in the Tarot remains one of my firm favorites. I am all for personal and spiritual growth, the completion of cycles, and new beginnings. The World represents exactly that: the ending of a cycle and pause in life, before the next major cycle begins with the fool.
The journey from the new beginnings of The Fool to the fulfilling endings of The World is a constant evolutionary process in our everyday lives that is represented by the sequence of the 22 Major Arcana cards of the Tarot. The World is the 22nd trump and therefore final card of the Major Arcana.
I have reflected on the imagery of the Rider-Waite version of this Tarot card in great detail. Rider-Waite is probably the most popular and universally recognized Tarot deck. The illustrations by Pamela Colman Smith at first glance appear simple, but the details and backgrounds feature abundant mystical symbolism.
The World pictures an empowered figure within a wreath – traditionally a symbol of victory, success, achievement, and eternal life. The figure holds a wand in each hand, which is reminiscent of the Magician card and the Two of Wands. However, while The Magician holds only one wand, the two wands in the The World card represents fulfillment, wholeness, balance and coming full circle.
The card is framed by four animals on the diagonal. The depiction of these four creatures parallels the four animal symbols used in Christian art to represent the four Evangelists, namely Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. The four animals also represent the zodiac signs of Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, and Aquarius, the four fixed signs in Western Astrology, which in turn represent the classical four elements of Earth, Fire, Water and Air.
Cleansing Rituals Are A Vital Spiritual Practice
Energy cleansing should be a key component in our regular spiritual practice. To achieve and maintain a state of higher consciousness and enhanced spiritual awareness, we must constantly aim to purify and rebalance ourselves mind, body and soul.
Purification rituals are traditionally practiced in many world religions and various spiritual traditions embrace tangible cleansing rituals as a way of communing with and manifesting the Divine energy. Water-based rituals of purification are practiced, for example, in the Baháʼí faith, Christianity, Hinduism, Indigenous American religion, traditional African spirituality, Islam, Judaism, Mandaeism, Neopaganism, Shinto, Western esotericism, and Wicca.
It is no accident that animals also clean themselves regularly by grooming their fur or feathers. Nature instinctively understands that ‘cleanliness is next to godliness.’ Mother Nature also cleanses herself throughout the year with changes in the weather and the succession of the seasons.
I’ve never been much or a ritual or ceremony person myself, but I have come to embrace the need for a regular energy cleansing routine as I have grown in my own spiritual and psychic awareness.
For many years now, one of my go-to rituals is a simple spiritual cleansing bath with Epsom salt. I find it is a wonderful practice to realign my energy flow and restore inner peace and harmony. Nothing beats a proper ‘soul detox’ every few days.
Another practice I’ve adopted of late is chakra candle work. I often use these scented candles to jumpstart a client’s cleansing process, or cleanse and rebalance my own energy. The candle for each chakra is infused with its own combination of essential oils. The heart chakra candle is my personal favorite. It’s laced with sandalwood, jasmine, and rose essential oils and really packs a punch!