release
You Don’t Have To Be Perfect
Whenever we are focused on a task at hand, whether it is career, business or personal, we tend to focus on our mistakes and worry about what we may be doing wrong. Will it meet expectations? Are we good enough? The loud voice of perfectionism in our ego mind is often saying, “You did not do it right, you did not do enough…you are not enough.”
But constantly striving for perfection and beating ourselves up when we cannot meet those impossible expectations, sabotages the very thing we are trying to achieve. It impacts every part of our lives and also affects people around us, including our friends, coworkers, family and life partners.
Setting unrealistic standards for ourselves and others leaves us constantly feeling disappointed in ourselves and let down by others, over and over again. The perfectionism we are striving for becomes front and center in our in relationships, our careers, our health and our overall well-being. The result is anxiety, low self-esteem, fear of failure, depression, and broken relationships.
Failed perfectionism leads us to constantly measuring our worth against others, and vulnerable to the opinions, criticisms, and judgments of others. Perfectionists are very concerned about what others will think or say.
Striving for perfection is also about a need for control, so that our lives and those we care about will work out perfectly as we had planned. But contrary to popular belief, perfectionism does not lead to lasting success and fulfillment.
Have Faith In A Better Future
I received a vital message from spirit today during my daily meditation. Spirit showed me that many people have become extremely anxious and worried in recent years. Many souls are making themselves sick with stress, apprehension, and fear about the state of the world and what the future may hold.
But spirit reassured me that there is absolutely no need for us to do this. My guides also reminded me that most of the things we worry about never end up happening. We live in an abundant, benevolent universe that always returns everything to balance and harmony. The sun will always come out again tomorrow, or the day after.
So, how do we deal with our overwhelming worries and concerns? It starts with our spirituality. If we choose not to believe that the universe is a safe, generous place that rests in the palm of God, Spirit, Source, the Divine’s hand, then it is very difficult to have hope and trust in the future. And when we have no faith, hope or trust, we feel we must try to be in control of everything ourselves. This need for control leads to negative thoughts, constant worry and anxiety, and even paralyzing fear.
The answer is to let go and let God, focus only on the now, and only attempt to control those things that you can control. Trying to constantly change and control the rest of the world and ‘play god’ in our mind is pointless and energetically draining.
Instead, we should direct our focus and attention to positive, uplifting things that we can change and control. Rather than lament everything we feel may be wrong in the world, we can find ways to help make it better.
Instead of dwelling on everything that is not working for us, we can take a new perspective and start doing some things to contribute. We have the power as spiritual beings to become part of the solutions, instead of just adding to the problems.
Control Is The Opposite of Love
I have learned that communication glitches and other side-effects of a Mercury retrograde can actually offer us valuable life lessons if we choose to pay attention.
For example, during the recent retrograde my daughter suffered a migraine on a day she was supposed to visit me. I decided not to pick her up, because she said she was not feeling strong enough. She is prediabetic and I pray and light candles for her daily.
So, I texted her a get-well soon message along with an animated chicken soup meme. Feeling worried about her, I checked in periodically throughout the day see if she had received her ‘virtual chicken soup.’ But the message read receipt only showed ‘delivered.’ No read receipt.
The next day, the text message suddenly showed it had been ‘read,’ but it had the previous afternoon’s timestamp? I noticed a similar phenomenon when co-parenting communication with my daughter’s father also suddenly failed repeatedly and produced delayed read receipts.
Instead of becoming frustrated about it, I contemplated the matter and came to an enlightening conclusion. Spirit clearly said to me, “The need for control is the opposite of love’s vibration.”
This is so very true. Controlling energy is toxic energy. It was a gentle reminder that I need to keep working on releasing my desire to try and be in perfect control of everything in my life at all times.
When we constantly feel the need to control every aspect of our day, rather than letting the energies of universal love, joy and abundance flow freely in our life, we block our blessings and personal growth.
How To Truly Let Them Go
When a relationship ends, we may find it very difficult to let go of the other person, especially when they have been the one who chose to leave. Friends and clients have often asked me this question. How do I forget him? How do I stop thinking about her? I have asked myself this a few times in my own life too.
My psychic observation has been that consciously trying to forget someone for whom we have strong feelings of love and affection will only serve to make it worse. ‘Forgetting’ someone we love is unnatural and goes against our grain. It only creates resistance that further increases tension and intensifies our pain.
So, it is usually better, but not easier, to channel or process our feelings of love and affection for another soul, in a more constructive, liberating way. This includes honoring the freedom of every soul’s path in relationship with God, Source, Spirit, the Divine.
It is essential to let our feelings flow, because emotions are energy in motion (e-motion). The energy will move through and in time lessen, like storm clouds passing through the sky, until the sun is visible to the eyes again.
Keeping the heart open is an important part of this process. The vision God gives me to describe this is of being in your home, going about your own life within it, with all your attention focused on the activities, surroundings, and experiences of the moment, and simply being present with what you have and what is, while the front door remains open in the background.
The Happiness Trinity
When a new year arrives, it is common for us to look back and wish we had done better in the previous year. To make matters worse, the past three years have been exceptionally difficult for all of us. All the more reason for us to now make a determined decision to strive for greater happiness in the coming year. But how does one achieve happiness?
The true nature of happiness has been a topic of debate since the beginning of time. Does anyone really know what true happiness is? There are many opinions, views and theories on the matter, but I believe in the end one’s personal happiness is something only you can truly define or measure for yourself.
With that said, no matter what our personal idea of true happiness might be, it will always require the foundation of three key elements: wellness of body, mind and soul. Without an optimal trinity of physical, mental, and spiritual health, one cannot truly live your best life.
A happy life begins first and foremost with physical health and self-care. Our lifestyle habits define the quality of our life. Constantly indulging in the short-term pleasures of unhealthy lifestyle choices will not ensure a happy life in the long-term. Happy people eat nutritious food, get enough exercise, sleep well, manage their stress levels, and aim to maintain a sensible work-life balance.
A sense of being happy itself is one of the countless emotions we experience in life, and while it’s not possible to always feel happy, we can still choose how we respond to life’s challenges. Choosing to see a difficult situation as an opportunity rather than an obstacle, and choosing faith over fear, are common traits among many accomplished people.
A Year Of Charity And Personal Prosperity
A new year tends to inspire the mindset of a fresh, new start. It is a time of high hopes that this year is going to be better, or that one is not going to make the same mistakes as last year. But what does spirit forecast for the year that lies ahead?
From my guides I received a confirmation that we will be on the right path this year as long as we keep our attitudes positive and our intentions true to our heart. As children of God, Source, Spirit, the Divine we are to always expect only the best, as long as whatever we desire does not harm or deprive others. If we set a sincere intention for our own highest good, as well as the highest good of others, the best will happen for us, in the right way, at the right time.
The year 2023 is set to be a year of greater tolerance, mutual understanding, unconditional love, compassion, and kindness. The world has grown weary with all the conflict, drama and hate in recent years.
At times it is difficult to find these noble qualities within ourselves, especially after we have suffered trauma, loss, or a major disappointment. However, the more we can dig deep within to express these qualities, the better this year will turn out for all of us.
This is a year to strive for the betterment of humankind. Spirit wishes to encourage us to make more of an effort in 2023 to help and support others wherever we can. It does not necessarily have to be financial or material if one simply cannot afford it, but is good if you can. There are many ways we can care for others, including a silent blessing, a hug, a prayer, a meal. Simply mowing someone’s lawn, shoveling their snow, or doing their shopping can sometimes transform, even save a life.
Forgive, But Never Forget!
I’ve been reflecting on the notion of ‘forgive and forget’ in this season of thanksgiving, joy, generosity, and gratitude. Is it indeed necessary for us to both forgive and forget when others wrong us? Does that not make is doormats or losers? Consulting spirit on this matter, I found that the concept of ‘forgetting’ actually implies something quite different to our typical understanding of it.
True forgiveness is to ‘turn the other cheek’ when we are wronged. It is an essential aspect of our spiritual growth and soul evolution. When we practice forgiveness, we increase dharma, which is essentially ‘cosmic law and order’ and therefore ‘good karma.’ If we have good dharma, we begin to receive more gifts and blessings from the Universe, and spontaneous kindness and generosity from others. We also become more approachable because our ‘gratitude glass’ is always more than half full with spiritual champagne!
Spiritual practice and energetic self-care are the optimal ways to practice and strengthen our forgiveness. Through daily prayer, meditation, candle work, or journaling, supplemented by anointing ourselves with healing essential oils, for example, or taking an Epsom salt bath, we can release all resentment, anger and bitterness that block our energy flow and holds us back.
The other person does not need to know that we’ve forgiven them. It is of course even better if we tell them, but their participation or approval is not necessary. Forgiveness is a private matter and a gift we give to ourselves.
Forgetting harms and hurts is however an entirely different matter. If we forget too easily, we also tend to stop reflecting gratefully on our joys and blessings. Bad things happening to good people increases our appreciation and gratitude for the good things in our lives.