denial
In One Ear, And Out the Other
We have all had a frustrating conversation with someone that was just not listening at all. I call it ‘the lights are on, but nobody is home’ conversations. In my opinion the world would be a better place if we all communicate more clearly, sincerely, and kindly.
I have one friend with whom it is very easy to tell that she has checked out of a conversation. She gets that blank look in her eyes, vaguely staring into the distance, drifting off into her own thoughts. Then it becomes utterly pointless to continue the conversation with her, as I might as well be talking to myself.
One sure way to tell if a person has checked out of the conversation is when they keep checking their phone. How rude is that? What could possible be on that phone screen that is so much more important than a heartfelt, meaningful conversation with a friend?
During the pandemic, I did not see one of my best friends for more than two years. When we finally met up after all this time, she spent most of our time together checking her phone messages and scrolling her social media feeds. I guess I missed her company more, than she did mine.
Of course, we all ‘space out’ in conversation sometimes, but if it happens constantly then it may be time to find out why? One of the biggest challenges in any relationship is when people feel they are not being heard. Clear communication, sincere interest, and active listening are vital ingredients in a caring, supportive relationship.
Another important aspect in any conversation is our tone of voice. It is often not what we say, but how say it that matters most. It is always amazing to me when I hear someone talk to strangers in a manner and tone of voice that is much kinder and more sincere, than the tone they use with the people closest to them.
The Self-Fulfilling Fear Of A ‘Bad Luck Curse’
Some folks who consult with reputable psychics for the first time sometimes believe that the many unfortunate things that have been happening to them is due to some ‘family curse’ or ‘bad luck hex.’ While it may indeed seem like certain people and their families do have more than their fair share of ill-fated things happen to them, sometimes through several generations, this kind of superstition is usually just an overreaction to challenging life events, and too often merely an excuse to avoid personal responsibility for one’s own choices.
An famous example of a so-called family curse is the Kennedy family, who suffered a series of bizarre accidents, premature deaths, assassinations, and various other setbacks and calamities, including several ill-fated romantic relationships that all started out great, but then took a turn for the worse and ended in tragedy and disaster.
Whenever I read for a client who believes they are somehow ‘cursed,’ I always advise them that blaming a so-called ‘curse’ for the challenges and adversities in their life will never solve their problems, nor help them create a better life in the future.
Sometimes people are not ready and open to take an honest look at their own part in creating certain life events through their free will choices and decisions. When a relationship ends badly, for example, it is so much easier and convenient to simply imagine, “Oh, well I am probably cursed in the love department.” Meanwhile, the red flags for this relationship were waving high and bright since the very beginning, but they so desperately wanted a relationship that they ignored the early warning signs.
If we would only listen to our gut, and to the people who truly care about us, we will more often experience the blessing of good fortune, instead of ‘bad luck.’ Spirit always warns us early on when we are making bad life choices and heading for disaster. Some of these messages come courtesy of our intuition and inner guidance, some are revealed to us in dreams, signs, synchronicities and psychic readings, and some warnings reach us through our friends and relatives. Sadly, some people blame everything instead on ‘bad luck’ or ‘curses,’ as they would rather believe they have been cursed than take any personal responsibility by accepting they made a poor choices or decisions.
Are You Married To A Cheater?
Are you married to a man who you think might be a cheater? It is more common than one might think. The bulk of my calls are about just this question: is he cheating?
Usually, if a client is asking this question, they already know the answer. They simply need either confirmation, or clarification. Their intuition is telling them something is going on. Often there are also many clues.
However, many callers still do not want to believe it is true, when I see that their partner is indeed being unfaithful to them. Some continue to ignore the signs and live in denial it until everything eventually comes to a head and they finally have to face it.
What to do if you think your husband is cheating? Question him by being open, direct and honest. Get the answers you need.tru
If he is not forthcoming, find other ways to uncover the truth and piece things together. Get a psychic reading. Hire a private detective. Check his credit card statements and chat messages. You have a right to know the truth
If you find out that he has been cheating, then seek counselling first, before making any major decisions or drastic changes. First find out exactly what kind of situation you are in and if and how it can be fixed, or not.
Getting to the core and extent of the problem in a sensible, calm manner is usually the best first step. Don’t allow his bad choices to turn your entire life upside down.
I remember a client who gave everything to her marriage, while her husband was cheating. She was suspicious, but never followed her gut. It all came crashing down when he arrived home one day and dropped the bomb that the other woman he was having an affair with was now pregnant with his child. This was an unbearable shock, as my client was unable to have children.
The Fierce Journey To The Heart Of The Goddess
There are many divine beings around us throughout our lifetime. When I do a reading, a variety of angels, spirit guides, ascended masters, and goddess archetypes may show up to lend their wisdom, love, and guidance to my clients, for whatever situation they are going through.
Not only do we have guardian angels constantly with us, but we also have various ‘inner band’ and ‘outer band’ spirit guides who interchange through different periods and cycles in our lifetime. We also have deities or higher-level beings with us during certain times.
Recently I have had many encounters with the goddess Kuan Yinin during readings. She is the Buddhist bodhisattva associated with compassion and was first known as the ‘goddess of mercy’ among Jesuit missionaries in China. Guanyin, Guan Yin or Kuan Yin, is short for Kuan-shi Yin, meaning she who ‘observes the cries of humanity.’
She is a popular goddess in Chinese folk religion and worshipped in many communities and cultures all over the world. In the mid-17th century outlawed Christians in Japan created statues of the Catholic Virgin Mary disguised as Kuan Yin, known as the ‘Maria Kannon.’
I have always associated her with compassion, kindness, and forgiveness, but I was recently reminded that Kuan Yin rides a dragon! This makes a lot of sense to me, now that I have examined her legend more closely.
Kuan Yin is teaching us by example. To arrive at a place of compassion and kindness, we must first piece through some uncomfortable feelings of anger, sadness, and fear, to arrive at the ‘heart of the goddess.’ Kuan Yin rides her dragon of fierce bravery through stormy waters and scorching fires. She follows through with the journey to a place of completion and does not avoid the challenges that confront her along the way.
Uproot Limiting Beliefs With Denial And Affirmation
Denials and affirmations are two methods of prayer or meditation that can be used to shift our experience of life. They are simplistic statements of truth that enable us to reprogram our subconscious mind and consciously create at a higher level.
These spiritual techniques are used by many in the New Thought and New Age spiritual movements and are amazingly effective for breaking old habits and thought patterns.
These two spiritual practices stem from the understanding that there is one Infinite Consciousness that is by its very nature benevolent and good. Many names have been given to this Infinite Consciousness or Infinite Mind, such as God, Source, the Universe, Higher Self, Spirit, the Divine, and so on.
The premise of denials and affirmations is that our individual mind is connected to the Divine Mind, and also that our mind is creative in the same way as the Divine Mind. This concept is found in varying forms in various religious and spiritual traditions.
Hindu philosophy, for example, is based on the belief that Brahman is the supreme universal force and ultimate reality to which each soul or athma is connected. The Buddha teaches, “Our life is shaped by our mind; we become what we think. Joy follows a pure thought like a shadow that never leaves.”
In the Christian tradition, Jesus says in Matthew 17:20, “Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”
When I was going through a difficult time in my life, Jesus jokingly came to me with these words. He has been one of my spirit guides for many years, but on this occasion, I didn’t find the ‘mustard seed’ metaphor very amusing.
Getting More From Your Psychic Reading
So, there you are, about to spend some well-earned money on a psychic reading. You have decided to get a reading about your life at this time, which is always a good idea.
But before you go ahead make sure you know how to get the best from your reading and how to wrap your mind around what you are going to hear and see. You may be a first timer, or a seasoned veteran of all things occult. It doesn’t matter.
The important thing, the first thing, is to be very sure why you are getting a reading. This must always be your starting point. It enables you to help yourself. It allows your mind to be open and ready to receive. The next thing you must do is to release your attachment to the outcome of the reading. Release all your expectations of what you would like to hear. Easier said than done? Hardly. That is merely an excuse. It only serves to paralyze you, and stems the very flow that you crave.
People often have many questions about what they should do when it comes to getting a reading. Should I carry a crystal? How will I know whom to choose to read for me? Do I just go with a random reader?
The answer to these questions is… do what you feel works best for you. You can carry a crystal if you want to. They have earth-driven qualities and they do help to remind us of beauty, which is always important. Choosing a reader online can be as easy or as complicated as you choose to make it. Choosing a reader in any situation means going with your heart, your instinct and, most of all, an open mind.
Keeping an open mind in a psychic reading is essential. By releasing attachment to the outcome, you allow Spirit to speak through the medium or the psychic, giving you the message that is meant for you alone. That is why you get a reading after all, isn’t it? I would hope so!
Authentic Feelings Are Not Always ‘Sunshine And Rainbows’
What a comfortable, easy life this would be if everyone could just feel like ‘sunshine and rainbows’ all the time. The truth is that the many of the most worthwhile things in life do not come from ‘easy’ and ‘comfortable.’ And when we suppress our true feelings, it is ultimately detrimental to our health body, mind, and spirit.
Revealing our true feelings does not come easily for many of us. I am not trying to make up an excuse, but I just was not brought up that way. My parents’ generation were masters of the art of concealing their true feelings, good or bad. When I am doing a mediumship reading, and a departed parent or grandparent shows up, they often say things like, “I wish I told you more often how much I love you.”
I could count on one hand the moments in my childhood that I can remember my parents showing affection for each other in front of us children. Those of us who had been brought up in such a stoic family environment, tend to struggle when are encouraged to express our deepest emotions. As an adult, I do however see the bigger picture today. And I do feel it is necessary to express one’s feelings in a considerate and healthy way.
In my family my parents also never argued in front of us kids. My dad just gave my mom the silent treatment. We grew up thinking he was just be the ‘strong silent type.’ Consequently, I felt that this was what communication in a marriage should be like.
Of course, reality hit me badly with my first marriage, when my ex-husband and I had our first serious argument! I thought it meant the marriage was now over, because I had no coping skills or frame of reference for this kind of authentic self-expression in a relationship. I also had no clue how to have a good, healthy argument.