Spirituality
Choose To Contribute, Even In Difficult Circumstances
Over the recent Easter holidays, spirit has once again been making me aware of the dire need for gratitude and generosity in our world. Spirit asks us to reflect on those less fortunate who live in war-torn countries where they must survive daily atrocities.
Also, we must think of families closer to home who, due to illness or work issues, don’t have enough to live in appropriate housing, or even know where their next meal is coming from. It is our spiritual duty to volunteer or donate to charities to help those currently living in adverse circumstances.
It is also important to give thanks for what we have, even if we are currently hoping for so much more in the future. Irrespective of our current circumstances, we can still radiate kindness and generosity. We can give our time to help others or just listen to someone in need of a confidant.
Meanwhile, regardless of where we stand right now, we can continue to visualize the outcomes we are expecting, for just a few quiet minutes per day. Remember to set achievable goals and give yourself a timeline to follow.
Stay focused. Stay committed. Stay strong. Lead by example. Smile and act as if your gifts have already arrived. Be excited by the small accomplishments and the little wins as you aim higher and stronger.
We all face challenges in life, and sometimes they can seem insurmountable. Instead of giving in to fear and worry, focus on something that makes you happy or someone who lights up your life. Stay the course and maintain balance as much as possible, while you work through those challenges.
When it comes to conversations and relationships, remember that we either contribute or contaminate with every interaction. Make the effort to choose to contribute, even in difficult circumstances. Solve disagreements without resorting to posturing and name-calling.
Life Is In The Eyes Of The Beholder
What is the lens through which you view the world? When I close my eyes I see waterfalls, flowing streams, and flowers. This is the scenery surrounding me with my eyes open too. It tells me a story of life, of inner perception, and beauty.
The experience of life is what we make it, not because we are independently powerful controllers or causes of physical outcomes, but because we are eternally sentient beings with the gift of free will.
The spirit soul is a spark of consciousness, and we can express that consciousness through a variety of qualities. It is that inner flavor of our quality that then colors our experience and lens.
So, for example, when I see the water in the stream rolling around rocks and carving a curvy path through the land in front of me, I am reminded of a world that is gentle with feminine energy. She flows and nourishes and moves with consistent but soft determination.
I know that elsewhere there is also hard, jagged terrain and a state of mind that matches it. I can choose to match my mind to the beauty, diversity, and gentleness of spirit, or to the rigid harshness of a cold, hard, inert world of matter and might.
This choice presents itself at every step. Two people may suffer a similar loss in their lives, but process it completely differently. One might see it as an opportunity to grow and become more resilient, while the other might choose to feel angry and unfortunate. It depends on the lens through which we choose to view the world and our interactions with it.
Our circumstances also do not have to change for consciousness to change. When we change our inner consciousness and the lens through which we choose to view life, we change the experience.
The Many Deaths And Rebirths In Your Lifetime
You have already died many deaths. Many versions of you will ‘die’ in this lifetime. And, many versions of you will be reborn.
Of course, you have also passed through the veil between this life and the next for many past lives. But in this case, I am referring to ‘deaths’ we suffer in this lifetime.
We can identify these dramatic changes, transitions, shifts, or ‘deaths’ in our astrological chart. Your Saturn Return, for example, occurs around the time of our 30th birthday. Our Saturn Return forces us to take an honest look at everything we may have been avoiding until now. It forces us to make much needed changes and improvements. It is the ending of our youth and the birth of our new adult self.
We do not remain the same person throughout our lifetime. Our goals, ideas, and life lessons all serve their purpose until they are phased out to let in new information, new ideas, and new opportunities for growth. If we do this right, life keeps changing us. We continue to grow and expand.
For this purpose, it is wise to interact with people who have different beliefs, practice other religions, and have other political affiliations compared to our own. And more importantly, to really listen to them. We must allow all the information in and trust our intuition to let our beliefs and understanding of life continuously evolve.
Our life experiences constantly challenge and change our ideas, goals, and views. We are constantly shedding our old skin. Just as our body changes every day we are alive, so does our soul. We take in every experience, whether we know it or not. It’s like adding ingredients to a recipe.
Embrace these deaths and births along your life path. They are needed for your soul growth and spiritual expansion. I’ve witnessed over the years some people really fighting change and resisting growth…and it always makes them miserable. Fluidity and acceptance are spiritually essential. Simplicity will bring you inner peace.
Healing From A Relationship Breakup
All breakups are painful. There really is no quick fix to heal a broken heart. But there are some things one can do to gradually move on and begin a new journey without your ex-partner.
The first thing to do is to accept the reality of the situation. It is not going to do any good to dwell on the past or try to work things out at this point. In this early stage of grieving, it is usually not a good idea to speak to your ex at all. It will simply prolong the pain.
At times you might be tempted to reach out to your ex, but listen to what your heart and soul is telling you. Trust your gut. It will never steer you wrong.
You may also want to avoid reminders of your ex and your relationship. No need to put any more stress or pressure on yourself than you have to. It is best to accept what is and move on.
The most important thing now is to put yourself first and be true to you. Now is the time to come to grips with your feelings. Don’t hold back if you want to cry and let it out.
We are always trying to look for answers as to why something happened. Many times, we blame ourselves, thinking that things may have been different if we would have done more. We put ourselves through so much unnecessary guilt sometimes. It is unfair and pointless to do that to ourselves and not the best path to healing. Seek forgiveness for your ex and yourself.
A healthy lifestyle is important in times of grief. Exercise is especially beneficial. It makes you feel more in control of yourself and increases ‘feel good’ hormones like dopamine that will reduce depression.
Enlightenment Is Not An Exclusive Privilege
One of my Yoga students once asked me if I consider myself spiritually enlightened. I told him that I struggled with that idea, because it implied someone is ‘done’ with their spiritual mission.
It would mean I had accomplished the ultimate spiritual goal and therefore would have no need to continue my spiritual growth and work. It also seems arrogant to say that somehow, some people are ‘more enlightened’ or spiritually more evolved and superior to others.
I once heard a celebrity state in an interview that she knew she was “born to greatness.” I cannot comprehend such blatant entitlement and self-importance…to imagine that anyone was born more for ‘more greatness’ than another! We are all born for greatness in our own way, and none of us are greater than any other.
Therefore, I believe we are all enlightened. Some of us just don’t know it yet.
Spiritual growth or expansion is an eternal process. It is a journey, not a destination. There is no ‘arrival’ and no end. We will always continue to grow more, love more, heal more and learn more.
With that said, I have always felt Earth is a planet for new souls. But even old souls can still learn. There is no special ‘status’ in being a new or old soul. It is simply a matter of how much one has experienced as an individual energy entity.
I have heard over the years clients and students complain they have such a hard time being around people who are “not as enlightened as they are.” I find this arrogant, not spiritual. I believe that all paths lead to God. Just because someone isn’t on the same path doesn’t mean they aren’t headed towards God. Just the thought that we believe we are more enlightened or superior or working harder, shows we have a lot more learning to do.
Stay True To Your Own Best Karma
You may have heard of someone ‘getting their karma’ for something bad they have done, or of wishing bad karma on another for their transgressions. Most people use the word ‘karma’ in this negative sense, usually believing that a person that hurt them will be on the receiving end of the same hurt (or worse) because of their deeds.
But wishing negative karma on another is a dangerous practice. What we think, say and do tend to come back to us, instead of another person. So, when you say something like, “Oh, I can’t wait until they get their karma and someone breaks their heart like they broke mine,” you have in fact declared it for yourself (again).
Karma happens when it happens. Never, ever wish it on another in a negative manner. Your thoughts, words and actions determine what you attract to yourself.
Karma can instead be invoked in an amazingly positive way. Wish everyone good things, positive actions, and uplifting results in their life – even those who wronged you.
Congratulate that person who got the promotion that you wanted. Offer the person who stole from you a blessing. Forgive the person who broke your heart and wish them only happiness in their future life.
This will open the flood gates of good reactions to your actions. There is a cause and effect for everything, so the moment you choose to you’re your thoughts, words and actions all positive and loving, that is what you will attract in return.
Empowering Life Lessons From My Abusive Father
My father Jim had to grow up quickly in the tough pre-war years. He was the eldest of six children and he did not have an easy childhood, nor tolerant parents.
But life became even more challenging for Jim as he reached adulthood. My parents were married at the age of 21 and had three kids by 23, and another baby at 34.
Jim faced many challenges. As a result, to vent his frustration and process all the stress, he often took it out on those closest to him, namely his wife and children.
Let’s just say my father was not always the ideal husband and parent. It became so bad by the time I was an adult that he would do whatever he could to disrupt my life and my family in any way that you might imagine. The sad part was that he actually wanted to hurt us, as doing so gave him a bizarre sense of satisfaction and control over those closest to him.
I first became fully aware of my father’s desire to disempower his kids when I was about 22 years old. The year was 1982, and jobs were very hard to come by in the United Kingdom in those days. I had an office job but wanted something better. So, I decided to attend school for a year to learn shorthand and typing at the local technical college.
One day, I asked my dad if I could get a ride with him to college, because I had to sit an important exam at 2pm that day. He said I need not worry, as he would drop me off in plenty of time. But then he proceeded to make every excuse not to leave the house!
By quarter to two, I started to panic, as I could not possibly walk or catch a bus from my house to the college with so little time. At ten minutes to two, he finally agreed to take me to sit the exam, but then when we got in the car, he said he needed to go to the garage for gas. I looked at the fuel gauge and saw the car’s tank was full.
I suddenly realized he did not want me to sit the exam, as he did not want me to pass it and better myself and become more independent. Thankfully, his sabotage attempt failed, as I did pass the exam and went on to get a higher paying job.