loved ones
Stop Surviving And Start Living
The past three years, I have heard many people say they’re living in ‘survival mode.’ For some it has been about health and personal safety, for others it was isolation and loneliness, or bereavement and grief, or loss of employment and financial security.
It has certainly been an unprecedented, challenging time for our generation. And at times it has indeed been an actual fight for survival, which many tragically did not survive. Many families are still grieving the loss of their loved ones.
Sadly, for some it has also been a time of fearing many things that never happened. It has also been a time that revealed how some folks may be in need of a major ‘privilege check.’ For example, I personally know people who were excessively anxious during the quarantine lockdowns because they were eating too much and gaining weight, or were upset because they could not go to the salon or spa, while there are people in the world who were not even able to feed their families, or worse, had nowhere safe to take shelter.
The global pandemic has indeed been a unique opportunity to reflect on our beliefs, values, and what truly matters to us. Not everyone made the most of this prospect. It seems for some it is still difficult to move beyond the self-defeating mindset of ‘it’s a struggle to survive.’
Yes, life is sometimes definitely hard for all of us. The past three years proved that once again on a global scale. Life can throw major curve balls our way and we all handle things through our personal lens on the world. Some of us are more resilient than others; and some of us more privileged than others. Being in ‘survival mode’ is therefore relative to the individual.
Healing From A Relationship Break-Up
Breaking up with someone can be one of the most difficult experiences in life, especially when it is a long and deeply meaningful relationship. It can feel impossible to see any future without that person and very difficult to move on and find joy in life again.
I find many of my clients do not realize that dealing with a break-up or divorce is very similar to processing the bereavement and grief associated with the passing of a loved one. It is often accompanied by agonizing sorrow, intense feelings of despair, and an all-encompassing sense of loss and confusion.
According to clinical psychologist Dr. Tricia Wolanin it is actually “the death of a relationship, hopes and dreams for the future. The person we are losing was a big part of our world and therefore has taken up so much of our mental and heart space.”
It is however possible to recover, heal and move on after any breakup or divorce. In my work I have found the following strategies to be helpful for clients who go through this kind of life challenge.
Avoid Major Life Decisions
It is usually not a good idea to make any important life decisions if you are working through the aftermath of a breakup. This includes changing your job or career, relocating, or making other drastic changes to your life. It is vital to take some time to heal and reflect on the situation before making hasty life-changing decisions that you may later live to regret.
The Simple Miracle Cure For Stress
While I was meditating the other day, the voice of an ancestor came to me. It was the spirit of a relative I had personally known when she was in this life. She said, “Why don’t you just rest a little bit honey? Everything is always easier and better after you take a day or two to just rest and recover.”
I cannot say I was surprised by this unusual visitation message. I had indeed been dealing with a lot of stress lately, and I tend to forget that what I really need to do sometimes is to simply stop. Just stop doing whatever it is I feel I have to do. I often do tend to take on more than I am actually required to, and then make matters worse by stressing about it. It’s a free will kind of deal.
My ancestor was right. A timeout would empower me to cope much better and see things in a different perspective. The truth is most of the recent stress in my life is caused by my thinking. It is mostly in my mind and not based in reality.
So, I decided to follow her advice and take a few days off. I turned off my negative thought process, stopped working for a few days, and found constructive ways to clear my mind and relax. I took out a library book to read for entertainment and enjoyment; played with my cats; cooked some delicious comfort food; meditated in the garden, slept late, and allowed myself to just simply enjoy some proper ‘me time.’
Well, it certainly worked like a charm! After just a few days, I felt invigorated, recharged, empowered, and in a much better state of mind. I now realize I had been depleted of energy and especially not getting enough sleep.
When Angels Are Passing
When I was nine years old, British troops were deployed to Northern Ireland after violence had erupted in the streets and the local police were no longer able to cope. Johnny, a young man from our neighborhood, was one of those soldiers called up. He was about 20 years old and lived just down the road from us.
Sadly, after just two months in active service, Johnny suffered a fatal bullet wound. His passing shocked our community and understandably devastated his family. My mother and I visited his mom at the time to convey our condolences. I remember her telling my mother that at the very moment of Johnny’s passing, everything in their family home went deathly silent because, as he put it, “the angels were passing.”
Her profound words left a lasting impression on me. At first, I wondered if this meant that angels sometimes also carry bad omens or bring us tidings of misfortune? But my mom soon put my mind at ease and explained that it meant quite the opposite. Angels show up to comfort and carry us through difficult times, such as at funerals and untimely passings. They bring us a sense of peace and support when it is most needed. With sudden passings, the angels make their presence known, like they did with Johnny’s family, at the moment of the person’s passing.
Almost 50 years later, my dear mother was a nursing home and not in the best of health. I was very worried about her. One morning, I drove into town to take my mind off things. I soon noticed the car park and the streets were exceptionally quiet and empty for this the time of the day, and month. I remember briefly thinking to myself it’s as if ‘the angels are passing.’ Later, when I arrived home, my husband informed me that my mother had passed.
Always Regain Your Karmic Composure
When we lose our composure and get very upset or angry, it is never a dealbreaker for spirit. It is only if we completely give up and do not learn from our transgressions that our guides, angels and loved ones in spirit may raise a ‘disapproving brow.’
If we lost your cool or stepped out of line, the key is to seek out the next right thing to do make amends for our messy indiscretions. Maybe it’s picking up a lost piece of mail in the post office parking lot and placing that into the delivery bin, so that it will find its destination. Or maybe it’s feeding the homeless person who is always sitting outside your local store. Or listening with an empathetic ear to a distant relative who has suffered a lot in their life recently.
Even doing an anonymous prayer or sending healing to someone will always be welcome. Whatever your clearance path is, be sure to untie those etheric karmic cords of your recent negative emotional responses and unkind actions, and make things right!
As a spiritually aware person, I will be the first to admit that I too have my ‘moments.’ If one is still dealing with unhealed trauma, shadow work and the clearing certain energy blockages, it is inevitable that frustration, irritation and anger can happen.
Every day, when I do my Epsom salt baths, I make the best attempt I can to clear such emotional energies, but it remains a work in progress. In fact, it seems like the process will never end.
Nothing Tastes Sweeter Than Gratitude
During the holidays, most homes and businesses have their festive lights and decorations up. One of the parking lots in my neighborhood is currently featuring a flamboyant set of beautiful red lights that really struck me as I was driving by the other day. In fact, it caused a strong emotional reaction within me.
Now, what might be so profound or special about a display of red Christmas lights, you may wonder. It is, after all, a typical holiday decoration seen everywhere this time of year. So, what’s the big deal? Well, those lights set me off so much because it brought back precious memories of my childhood.
I grew up in a very small town in New Brunswick, Canada. My family struggled and we were very poor. However, that did not prevent my parents from ensuring that we still enjoyed a few rare luxuries and treats on special occasions.
The most memorable of these were the “barley toys,” as we used to call them. Every Christmas, it was the tradition for each of us to receive a packet of barley toys. Now, this has nothing to do with actual toys. Instead, a barley toy is a kind of clear sugar lollipop or sucker shaped like a toy. These translucent, glass-like candies traditionally come in whimsical shapes, including various animals, as well as ships, trains, cars and, of course, Santa Clause.
According to the Startup Candy Factory in Provo, Utah, one of the earliest clear toy candy makers in the United States, German immigrants brought this holiday tradition to America and original recipes for it can be traced back to the 1700s. It was originally called “barley candy,” because cane sugar was very scarce at the time, so early candy makers used the cheaper and more readily available barley sugar.
Love Is The Energy That Connects Souls
There is one great metaphysical force or energy that connects us all. This greatest force is love. Love is the only energy that can truly overcome all and heal all. It connects us to each other – even those that we cannot be with.
Have you ever experienced the phone ringing and you just knew who it was on the other end before you even picked up? Then, once you had said hello, you think to yourself, “How did I know it was her calling?” You even get goose bumps once your intuition is confirmed. It’s a neat feeling, isn’t it?
Well, it’s also like that when out of the blue we think of someone for no reason. It’s usually because that person is also thinking of us. We are all connected.
We have naturally have what it takes to make these connections happen. One of the ingredients that it takes to be ‘dialed in’ like that is balance. We need to have balance in our lives. If we are disconnected and out of alignment in our lives we are not tuned in very well to these energetic connections we have with others. This is especially true when we indulge in some form of substance abuse, like smoking, alcohol or drugs. These things can really mess with the mind, body and soul.
You need to be healthy and you need to meditate or pray on a regular basis to help you stay on the vibrational frequency that you need to be to receive intuitive impressions, thoughts and feelings from those you love.
It is very difficult to be able to hear someone or feel someone, and love them so much and want to be with them so much, and not be able to. Know that if you are feeling these things from those you love you are very much connected. Remember, sometimes we have to wait to be with that person physically, because it’s all in divine timing – not our own timing.