toxic family
Ask Spirit For Patience This Holiday Season
The holidays are supposed to be a time of joy, togetherness, and celebration. But for some of us, it can also be a time of tension, distress, and intense emotions.
Instead of being a time of gratitude, love, and connection, for some of us the holidays mark the resurfacing of old family conflicts, unresolved tensions, and the weight of others’ overwhelming expectations or criticisms.
These challenges often lead to frustration, sadness, anger, or feelings of being overwhelmed, turning what should be a time of love and belonging into one that underscores where our relationships with loved ones are most strained.
At this point, asking spirit or your higher power to help you cultivate the virtue of patience becomes a powerful way to stay grounded and centered.
Patience isn’t just about enduring difficult moments; it’s about being aware of those moments and choosing to respond with grace and dignity rather than impulsively. When tensions rise — perhaps during a family dinner where conversations may become heated or awkward — it is easy to fall back on old patterns and habitual responses. Asking for spiritual support and protection in these moments, however, can provide a higher perspective and an empowered response.
Whether it’s through a silent prayer, a few deep breaths, whispering your favorite mantra, or simply making a conscious call for help in your mind, spiritual presence can help you pause, step back, ground and center, and approach the situation calmly and with more compassion — for yourself and others.
The Hidden Blessing Of Dysfunctional Parents
For those of us who grew up with dysfunctional or abusive parents, the journey of healing is not a straight path. It twists and turns through shadows of anger, grief, and longing.
But, within this curse always lies a paradoxical hidden blessing or two. Even the most wounded parents can be our teachers and a source of inspiration, not because of what they gave us, but because of what they could not.
Yes, dysfunctional and abusive parents can be an inspiration. Not in the sentimental sense of gratitude for their suffering, but in the clear-eyed recognition that their brokenness became the rich soil in which your awareness grew.
A damaged parent can inspire you to live more consciously, to love with intention, and to stop the cycle of ancestral pain that shaped them and you.
They can inspire you to use their example as a guide for what not to do, what not to say, and who not to become.
Their absence of nurturing can ignite within you the sacred resolve to be present and compassionate. Their harshness can awaken your gentleness. Their coldness can teach you warmth. The rejection you endured can remind you daily to make every person you love feel safe, seen, and cherished!
Even if your parents were never healed, you can be. Even if they never awakened, you can awaken. Their story does not have to become your destiny. You can use their limitations as fuel to create something better, purer, and truer.
Keep Shining Bright In A Darkening World
There’s an old children’s song that says, “This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine.” Many of us sang it when we were young, never realizing how profound those simple words really are.
As we grow up, we begin to understand that the “light” inside us isn’t just a sweet metaphor. It’s our spirit, our energy, our vibration, our soul essence. It’s who we are at the core.
And in a world that often feels heavy with noise, comparison, and negativity, protecting that inner light and letting it shine anyway, becomes one of the most courageous things we can do.
Each of us carries a unique vibration. Some people move through life weighed down by fear, anger, jealousy, or pain: energies that keep them operating on lower frequencies. Others radiate higher vibrations: love, joy, compassion, and creativity.
You can feel the difference when folks like that enter a room. They don’t need to say a word. Their presence alone speaks volumes. Their light softens the atmosphere and uplifts everyone around them.
But here’s a hard truth that many bright souls learn the hard way: light attracts attention, and not all of it is good and kind.
Those who shine brightly are also unwelcome mirrors to some. Their energy reflects back to others what still needs healing. And for some, that reflection can be very uncomfortable. Continue reading
Reclaiming The Voice Of Your Inner Child
I always sing with my yoga students at the end of class. I used to work in the entertainment industry as a singer, dancer, and actress. Because of that, I feel confident singing in front of people.
Growing up, I was always full of joy despite my dysfunctional and rather glum family. Of course, they didn’t appreciate my natural exuberance. They certainly didn’t like that I sang all the time because it represented a lightness of being they had long since given up on.
Like many dysfunctional families, they put me down all the time. They told me that I couldn’t sing and that I sounded awful. But, as with all the other negative, hurtful things they tried to convince me of, I did not believe them.
I kept singing anyway, which irked them. I continued to sing and dance, and I even wrote, produced, directed, and starred in my own musical when I was eleven.
Now I’m not saying I had a good voice as a kid. I really don’t know if I did. But, loving to sing, some voice lessons and lots of joy certainly helped me become a relatively good singer.
One day, after my yoga class, a student came up to me and told me I had a beautiful voice. I thanked her. I often have people compliment my singing voice after class.
The student then told me her family told her she had a bad singing voice when she was a child so she stopped singing. She then mentioned other abuses she received by her cruel family.
Be Your Own Light In Times Of Darkness
We’ve been facing dark days and challenging times across the world in recent years, no matter where we live. But the future is much brighter than it may seem, and that light of hope begins with you.
With social media and constant news feed updates, mostly centered around negativity, disaster, conflict, or tragedy, many of us feel overwhelmed these days. These are especially not easy times for the spiritually conscious person and the highly sensitive.
Our generation is being bombarded with a stream of distressing information and content, much of which includes falsehoods and fearmongering. Children today are exposed to more in grade school than some of us were after we graduated and entered the workforce. That’s not always a good thing, but it also means they’re growing up faster, and with the right guidance, they can grow up wiser.
When people talk about “the good old days,” they’re usually thinking about how much simpler life seemed in the past. I remember my grandparents saying such things long before there was the internet, smartphones, or AI. So, I guess every generation has its own reasons for nostalgia, and this sentiment is nothing new in the digital age.
That said, some of us today still grew up without television or even radio, and lived through the full evolution of the current digital age. Many elders still feel disconnected from how rapidly things have changed. But there’s beauty in that too. Each generation carries wisdom, and now, more than ever, we need to blend that wisdom with the tools of today to create a better path forward for all of us.
Protect Your Energy From Toxic People
If you’ve ever felt emotionally drained, manipulated, or physically unwell after spending time with someone, know that you’re not alone. I do relationship readings for people stuck in toxic relationships, or dealing with energy vampires in their family or workplace, on a daily basis.
These relationships and people feed off your energy, often leaving you feeling depleted, anxious, or confused.
Why do so many people allow these people into their lives? Often, they simply have no choice. These toxic people may be family members, coworkers, in-laws, friends we’ve known for years, other relatives, or even life partners.
As a deeply empathic person myself, I understand the profound sensitivity that comes with feeling the energies around you.
Being surrounded by energy thieves can feel like standing in front of an emotional vacuum or caught inside a whirlwind of chaos. If you don’t prepare yourself energetically and spiritually before engaging with these types of individuals, your emotional and physical well-being will suffer.
It’s exhausting trying to maintain your peace in the presence of drama, manipulation, or constant criticism. Take for example family gatherings or in-law visits.
These moments can trigger a cascade of emotions due to clashing personalities, judgment, gossip, and unresolved history. It often feels like nothing you do is ever right, and it becomes a true test of inner strength.
Tell-Tale Signs You Are Being Gaslighted
You’re crazy, that never happened. Don’t be so sensitive. I’ve never had this problem with anyone else but you. It was never my idea, it was yours! Come on, you’re imagining things. Everyone else agrees, except you. You’re just making things up.
These are just some of the things you might hear when someone is gaslighting you. It usually happens whenever you confront them about their bad behavior, only to have your reality twisted in return…in ways that can really make your head spin!
Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse that most often shows up in toxic romantic relationships, but it can also manifest in dynamics with friends, coworkers, employers, family members, and even neighbors and landlords.
At its core, gaslighting is the manipulation of your sense of reality, leaving you confused, anxious, and doubting yourself and your own perceptions. Sometimes it’s very obvious and unmistakable. Other times, it happens so subtly you may not even realize you’re being manipulated.
The term “gaslighting” comes from the 1938 stage play Gas Light, which was later made into the 1944 film of the same name.
In the story, a husband tricks his wealthy wife into thinking she’s going crazy by making small changes to their surroundings, like dimming the gas lights, and then denying that anything has changed. His goal is to make her doubt her own sanity, so he could have her committed to a mental institution and gain control of her inheritance.