self-advocacy
I Am Responsible For Me
We all make mistakes. Each one of us has looked back on our life path and thought, if only I could go back and change it.
I wish I would have bought that house while it was still available at a lower price, because I would be on easy street by now.
Or if I could go back and take that amazing job, which I did not realize was so wonderful at the time, due to my youth and inexperience, I could have retired with a huge pension and many benefits by now.
One of the biggest regret that comes up quite often, is wishing to go back and tell relatives and friends that we love them… before they passed away so unexpectedly. I have so much to say to them right now, I wish I would have said it then.
My favorite saying, and yes, I am guilty of this myself: if I could go back to my teens with the knowledge I now have as an adult, I would change the course of my life and do things differently.
Yes, it would be nice if such a magic wand or time machine was available to us, so we could travel back and start over. However, truth be told, in our youth, we probably would have done the same things again.
The knowledge I have now, is because of the life lessons and mistakes that I have made. My errors and poor decisions created who I am today!
Am I perfect? Heck, no. Do I still mess up? Oh, yes. However, do I carry the things I messed up in my backpack of hardships, or do it let them fall to the ground and return to Mother Earth, and not let them move forward with me?
Navigating Grief Without Losing Yourself
In my work as a psychic reader, I have worked with many people navigating grief. Over the years, I have witnessed how people process loss and transition differently.
I have often had to guide clients toward grounding, self-trust, and setting compassionate boundaries. And, as life would have it, I recently had to draw on that wisdom and apply it to my own family.
My father was recently admitted to hospice care at his local nursing home after spending a week in the hospital. His prognosis was poor.
As our family transitioned to this new phase of care, I stayed in touch with loved ones and made decisions centered on his comfort and dignity.
At the same time, I made a conscious effort to protect my emotional energy and maintain healthy boundaries so that I could stay grounded.
In these circumstances I’ve been grappling with a kind of grief that isn’t often acknowledged: the grief of realizing someone you love is no longer the person they once were.
Even when they are physically present, the relationship shifts. There can be a quiet heartbreak in adjusting to the present while remembering the past.
There is also grief in watching a family reorganize itself. During times of transition, long-standing dynamics often change. Some family connections deepen and some relationships no longer operate as they once did. This can also feel like a loss in terms of shared understanding and how things “used to be.” Sudden changes in family circumstances tend to reveal where everyone actually stands.
Communication Is Key To Long-Term Love
It is so important to always keep the lines of communication open. Without it our relationships will not grow. I cannot stress enough how essential this is. It is the foundation, as it allows us to share our interests, to organize our lives and to make the best decisions.
Working together is the way we talk and listen to each other, not at each other.
Always be clear about what you want, and need to say, so that your partner hears it accurately and understands you, and does not get any mixed signals. Share positive feelings, tell them how much they are appreciated and admired, and how important they are to you.
Listening is also very important. A good listener can encourage their partner to feel comfortable enough to keep the lines of communication open. When together, always keep eye contact, show that you are interested and concerned.
Some people find it difficult to express their emotions, especially after being hurt in prior relationships. They have a trust issue that can take some time to overcome, because it is often the things that we cannot talk about that hurt the most.
Relationships are ever-changing. They go through a life cycle: first the honeymoon, then children, the mid-life crisis and finally the empty nest syndrome. Then the period of getting reacquainted follows, or the death of a spouse, or the ending of the relationship.
Not A People Person, Or Pleaser, And That’s Okay!
I have had clients tell me that they feel something is wrong with them, because they don’t like to be around people. They prefer solitude.
Others feel disconnected when around people, or it makes them feel smothered. People make them feel drained, or they feel out of their element.
If you are someone that does not like to be around people, or feels a sense of disconnect when in large groups, or even just engaging with others, fear not! I have some very good news to share with you.
It is my hope and prayer that this information will help you to stop being so hard on yourself when it comes to your social preferences. You do not need to feel guilty for not wanting to slap on a “happy face” and pretend to be someone you are not.
There is nothing wrong with you in my opinion. There is a simple reason why you don’t enjoy being around other people so much. The reason is that you have been to this planet many times before and basically you have “been here done this,” as it were.
Okay, so you don’t feel like being around your fellow humans. What to do? Tell yourself this, “it is okay that I don’t want to engage with others.” Then tell yourself, “I love myself just the way I am and now see the beauty in me that I never did.
But instead of judging myself, or thinking there is something wrong with me, from this day forward I promise to allow myself to embrace the freedom of placing myself where I feel comfortable, and free, and at peace.” Continue reading
Give Yourself Permission To Be Happy!
My life would be great if only… I had more money… he would come back to me.. I can find a better job… I can reach my goal weight.
How many times have you heard such statements? How many times have you told yourself something like this? Is it truly the answer to lasting happiness? What if there was a way to train your brain to accept life and live your best in the meantime?
As a hypnotherapist, my experience has been that when any suggestion is put into the mind, the subconscious will accept the information, whether it is true or false.
Whatever a person chooses to tell themselves enough times becomes their truth. The information becomes a habit to believe the suggestion. Some habits are good and some not so good. A bad habit needs to be replaced with a good one.
Why not take all the positive steps needed to live your best in the meantime… while waiting for the wishes to come true. There are many ways to retrain the brain, just as there are many ways to travel to a destination.
Some people like the fastest route, while other like the scenic route, in order to see the sights along the way. It doesn’t really matter what route you take. What does matter is that you truly have the belief that you can reach the destination, and allow yourself to enjoy the ride in the meantime.
A Message To Those Who’ve Lost Their Light
The other night, before going to bed, I quietly spoke to my deceased grandfather. I asked him to help me find the right words. Something to bring hope and comfort to so many of my clients who’ve been feeling lost, weighed down, or tired of carrying their pain.
I asked him, “Please, Grandpa, show me what to say. Help me give them what their hearts need most.”
That night, I dreamed. But it wasn’t just a dream. It was a visitation. The air around me grew still and was filled with a golden glow that felt like peace and love. From that light, my grandfather appeared.
He didn’t look the way I remembered him from his later years, but he looked strong, bright, and full of calm energy. His eyes held the same gentle understanding he always had, but it was deeper, almost eternal.
He smiled and said softly, “I heard you. I’m here.”
Then he said, “If there’s a dream or passion that still burns inside you, don’t let it fade. That spark within you was placed there by something greater than yourself. Even when the world feels dark, your light hasn’t gone out. It’s only waiting for you to rise again.”
He looked at me, and I could feel the weight of his words, as if they were wrapped in love.
“Don’t let anyone steal your sparkle,” he said. “There will always be voices that doubt you or make you question your worth, but their disbelief can’t touch what’s divine within you. The light in your spirit is stronger than their shadows.”
Keep Shining Bright In A Darkening World
There’s an old children’s song that says, “This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine.” Many of us sang it when we were young, never realizing how profound those simple words really are.
As we grow up, we begin to understand that the “light” inside us isn’t just a sweet metaphor. It’s our spirit, our energy, our vibration, our soul essence. It’s who we are at the core.
And in a world that often feels heavy with noise, comparison, and negativity, protecting that inner light and letting it shine anyway, becomes one of the most courageous things we can do.
Each of us carries a unique vibration. Some people move through life weighed down by fear, anger, jealousy, or pain: energies that keep them operating on lower frequencies. Others radiate higher vibrations: love, joy, compassion, and creativity.
You can feel the difference when folks like that enter a room. They don’t need to say a word. Their presence alone speaks volumes. Their light softens the atmosphere and uplifts everyone around them.
But here’s a hard truth that many bright souls learn the hard way: light attracts attention, and not all of it is good and kind.
Those who shine brightly are also unwelcome mirrors to some. Their energy reflects back to others what still needs healing. And for some, that reflection can be very uncomfortable. Continue reading