self-advocacy
Shield Your Dreams From The Naysayers
I’m in the midst of a major shift in my life – a bold leap forward that promises transformative and exciting changes for me and my family.
It is taking a lot of my time and requires a lot of work and personal sacrifice, as there are many moving parts that need to align to make it all happen. However, I know it will work and I trust in spirit’s guidance and divine timing. I’ve successfully navigated similar situations before in my life, so I’m confident it can be done.
As is often the case in these situations, I find myself surrounded by people who are projecting their fears and limitations onto me and my goals. Based on conversations with friends and clients who are supportive and encouraging, this seems to be a common pattern. What is clear to me is that these are people who have chosen to live very different lives from mine.
For example, I have a relative who has always lived in fear and has repeatedly tried to discourage me from every endeavor I’ve ever pursued — almost all of which have been successful. The few that have not worked out for the best I consider valuable life lessons.
I started my first business when I was 26 years old. This family member scoffed at me, saying it was too risky and that I was wasting my time and money. Well, that business ended up paying more than just my bills for over a decade, while many of my peers spent the best years of their lives in soul-destroying dead-end jobs. It allowed me, for example, to buy two houses and several new cars, and best of all, I loved what I was doing!
The Self-Affirming Power Of Saying No
Are you the kind of person who has a hard time saying “no,” even when your heart isn’t in it?
Maybe you’re afraid of disappointing others, afraid they’ll distance themselves, or afraid they’ll stop liking you if you say no. Maybe your introverted side just wants to be liked and accepted by everyone, so you agree to things – even if it drains you.
I’ve experienced this myself and seen it happen to many people who come to me and ask, “How can I say no without feeling guilty?” or “If I don’t say yes, will I lose my connection with this person?
Saying “yes” out of fear, guilt, or obligation may be the easy way out in many situations, but it usually comes at a high cost to your personal and spiritual well-being.
Let’s acknowledge something important: You are enough just the way you are, and you are worthy of peace, joy and happiness. If someone truly values you, they’ll respect your boundaries, even if it means saying “no” once in a while.
On the other hand, if people cut you off because you set boundaries, they may not have been the healthiest presence in your life to begin with. True friends and meaningful relationships will respect your choices and understand your reasons without demanding constant explanations.
Over time, I’ve seen the toll that over-commitment takes. People who constantly say “yes” often end up feeling drained, overwhelmed, or even resentful. Some develop physical and mental health problems because they feel trapped by the constant need to please others. In some cases, burnout and depression set in, all because saying no felt like an impossible task.