codependency
We Can’t Always Rescue The Ones We Love
A topic that often comes up in psychic readings is the client’s concern for someone they love – a child, significant other, sibling, close friend, or even a co-worker.
The problem? Usually the person has chosen a path that is confusing, destructive, or even life-threatening: substance abuse, toxic relationships, unwise career moves, or a lifestyle that just doesn’t make sense to the onlooker.
If you’re nodding your head right now about someone in your own family or circle of friends, you’re not alone. We’ve all been there – watching someone we love make free will choices that, from our perspective, can only lead to pain, loss, or utter disaster.
Maybe they have moved in with someone who is controlling and abusive, or they dropped out of college to move across the country and get married to someone they hardly know. Or maybe they are determined to put their life savings into a shady Ponzi scheme. Maybe they keep repeating choices and patterns that seem so clearly wrong for them.
Maybe you’ve seen the red flags from day one, and your heart is already aching with a kind of spiritual déjà vu…because you know what’s coming. And yet…you feel powerless to stop it.
This is where spiritual teachings can offer both comfort and perspective. According to many wisdom traditions, it’s often the most painful, confusing, or seemingly misguided paths that lead to the greatest soul growth. Sometimes a person must walk through fire or descend into darkness to find their light. And as difficult as that is to witness, it may very well be part of their soul plan.
The Curious Case Of The Eavesdropping Medium
I had a good laugh with a friend the other day as we reminisced about an odd encounter the two of us had with a psychic medium many years ago (which she has teased me endlessly about ever since).
We had inadvertently arrived an hour early for a mediumship demonstration by an amazingly gifted medium (according to my friend). Not having much else to do, we decided to grab a bite to eat at the venue’s snack bar before the event began.
Soon we were deep in conversation, enthusiastically discussing spiritualism and mediumship. A few tables away sat a mysterious dark-haired lady who made me feel a little uneasy. I suspected that she might be listening to our conversation.
The hour passed quickly and then the event began. To my surprise and confusion, the dark-haired woman from earlier stood up, greeted everyone, and introduced herself to the gathering. The ‘eavesdropper’ was the medium!
Then she suddenly looked around and said, “Right, who is Lucinda?”
My friend was very pleased with this remarkable development. “See, I told you — she’s the real deal!” she whispered with great excitement.
“No, she’s not,” I hastily whispered back, “she heard my name earlier in the snack bar…when you asked me what I wanted to drink!”
Cutting The Toxic Cords That Bind Us
In every relationship – romantic, platonic, professional – there is a metaphysical cord of attachment that exhanges energy from one person to the other.
These energy cords can be thought of as WiFi signals, electrical circuits, or even surgical tubes that transfer mental, emotional, and spiritual energies between individuals. They are the invisible ties of love that keep us connected to our loved ones.
I remember reading an article years ago about the intense grief of famous American singer Dean Martin after the tragic death of his eldest son. His boy was a fighter pilot in the California Air National Guard and lost his life in a plane crash during a training flight in 1987.
Martin described the loss as feeling as if his “heart had been ripped out.” This vivid description is a testament to the reality of these ties that bind us. The intense pain the singer felt was essentially his heart chakra feeling ‘broken.’ The loss had a profound impact on the remainder of his life and career.
The concept of these cords may seem abstract, but their effects are very tangible. They are not just symbolic; they are very real and have a profound effect on our physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual well-being on a daily basis.
When we engage in any kind of relationship with someone, these energetic cords extend from our chakras, or energy centers, to those of the other person. While these soul-to-soul cords feed us with all the good energies that come from being connected to others, such as love, nurturing, and belonging, they can also have the opposite effect.
What To Do When A Lost Love Lingers
Many of the readings I do are about love and relationships, and a good percentage of them are about past relationships that continue to linger in the hearts and minds of some callers.
For some people there are often constant, even obsessive thoughts about a former partner, a longing for a second chance, or bitterness and regret for time and energy that now seems wasted. The longer and more intense the relationship, the more battle scars and wounds there often are.
If it was a soulmate or twinflame connection, the aftermath can be especially devastating. The relationship has ended and the connection has been severed in this lifetime. This can be very painful. You know you gave it your all. You hung in there for years, or you made heroic efforts to ensure the survival of the relationship, but it did not work out as you had hoped.
If you are highly sensitive and intuitively aware, you may still be picking up the energy of your former partner, which can be very painful, disturbing and disruptive. Unresolved energetic connections can keep you stuck in a repetitive cycle of repeating the same pattern with that person, or put you on hold, unable to move forward in peace and confidence.
I am often asked, “Is it really over?” or “Does he still have feelings for me?” Of course, the answer depends on the unique circumstances.
The Essential Spiritual Practice Of Self-Love
The first person each of us is meant to love is ourselves. But somewhere along the way, many of us forget or overlook this essential form of love.
In a world that tends to reward judgment and criticism while valuing perfectionism and material success, many of us become estranged from our own worth and divine essence by falling into these societal patterns of self-judgment and negativity.
To make matters worse, what most people caught in this web of self-criticism do not realize is that unconditional self-love is the very foundation of our soul journey in this lifetime. In fact, it is the essential spiritual practice for a more joyful, deeply meaningful existence and a cornerstone of our spiritual evolution.
We often find ourselves caught up in self-doubt, judgment, and the pursuit of external validation. These patterns hinder our connection to our true essence and limit our ability to radiate divine love and compassion. Embracing unconditional self-love frees us from these limitations and allows us to step into our authentic power.
This journey begins with self-awareness and compassion. By observing our thoughts and feelings without judgment, we can identify the limiting beliefs and negative self-talk that have shaped our perception of ourselves. With gentle understanding, we can release these self-imposed chains and replace them with affirmations of self-worth and acceptance. When we practice self-compassion, we create a safe space for ourselves to heal and grow, embracing our imperfections as part of our unique journey.
Toxic Friendships: End It, Or Mend It?
Like all relationships, friendships have their ups and downs, testing the bonds that bind us together.
A true friend is someone who genuinely wants the best for you, celebrates your victories, and supports you through challenges. They offer encouragement, share your joys, and lend a sympathetic ear during difficult times.
The presence of true friends adds value to your life and fosters growth and positivity. You have a healthy friendship that thrives on mutual respect and care, where both parties feel uplifted and inspired to be their best selves.
In stark contrast, a toxic friend is often self-absorbed, putting their own needs and desires above all else. They manipulate situations to get what they want, with little regard for how their actions affect your happiness.
This type of friendship can feel draining, leaving you emotionally drained and questioning your self-worth. Instead of celebrating your achievements, a toxic friend may resort to jealousy or criticism, undermining your confidence.
Toxic friendships can deeply affect our emotional and mental well-being, often leaving us feeling drained and undervalued. These relationships are characterized by manipulation, constant criticism, and lack of support, creating an environment where one party consistently takes more than they give.
The dynamic can include jealousy, competition, or even emotional abuse, making it difficult to feel safe and authentic. Over time, toxic friendships can lead to diminished self-esteem and increased stress, underscoring the importance of recognizing and addressing these unhealthy connections.
The Unresolved Karmic Bonds Between Souls
Have you ever found yourself thinking about an old friend or flame that you haven’t spoken to in years, and they suddenly show up in your life in the most unexpected place? This often happens when we are still energetically connected to someone.
There are invisible energy cords that connect us to many different souls across dimensions and incarnations. These karmic connections are deep soul bonds that transcend time and space and span multiple lifetimes.
Those we love (or hate) – whether a partner or spouse, family members, friends – are all karmically connected to us.
Karmic connections aren’t easily severed. They also don’t simply disappear when we physically part ways in this world. These invisible cords keep us tied to those we’ve loved, lost, or even hurt—until we consciously choose to break free.
Karmic connections continue across lifetimes unless they are consciously severed and dissolved. But these energetic cords of attachment can be difficult to break. We may believe that a relationship is over on a logical level, but energetically the connection remains.
When betrayal or heartache occurs, an energy cord remains between the heart chakras of both individuals, often leading to a recurring cycle of pain and energy depletion due to these lingering connections.
Traumatic events, emotional or sexual attachments, promises, contracts and vows all create strong connections between souls. We often feel a sense of unfinished business when a promise or vow is broken or left unfulfilled.