Cutting The Toxic Cords That Bind Us

In every relationship – romantic, platonic, professional – there is a metaphysical cord of attachment that exhanges energy from one person to the other.

These energy cords can be thought of as WiFi signals, electrical circuits, or even surgical tubes that transfer mental, emotional, and spiritual energies between individuals. They are the invisible ties of love that keep us connected to our loved ones.

I remember reading an article years ago about the intense grief of famous American singer Dean Martin after the tragic death of his eldest son. His boy was a fighter pilot in the California Air National Guard and lost his life in a plane crash during a training flight in 1987.

Martin described the loss as feeling as if his “heart had been ripped out.” This vivid description is a testament to the reality of these ties that bind us. The intense pain the singer felt was essentially his heart chakra feeling ‘broken.’ The loss had a profound impact on the remainder of his life and career.

The concept of these cords may seem abstract, but their effects are very tangible. They are not just symbolic; they are very real and have a profound effect on our physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual well-being on a daily basis.

When we engage in any kind of relationship with someone, these energetic cords extend from our chakras, or energy centers, to those of the other person. While these soul-to-soul cords feed us with all the good energies that come from being connected to others, such as love, nurturing, and belonging, they can also have the opposite effect.

If there’s someone you’re hung up on or long to see again…then you almost certainly have an energetic cord keeping you tied to them ~ Gabrielle Bernstein

Imagine the negative, even toxic, thoughts and feelings one can absorb from another through these cords, especially fear-based emotions. These can manifest as fear of abandonment, unforgiveness, codependency, anger, bitterness, or other negative feelings that can weigh heavily on your heart and mind, and even affect your physical health. If left intact, these cords can perpetuate cycles of stress and dysfunction, leaving you feeling stuck, overwhelmed or depressed.

To make matters worse, some of these energy cords can also interfere with your soul evolution, creating lasting karmic bonds that extend beyond this lifetime, entangling two souls in karmic cycles of unresolved emotions, unfinished business and unlearned lessons. When a cord of love or friendship becomes a channel for deep-seated issues such as betrayal, guilt, resentment, or unfulfilled love, it can bind souls together across multiple incarnations, perpetuating the need for growth, healing and resolution.

Cord cutting is a powerful spiritual practice that allows you to sever these unhealthy connections, reclaim your energy, and restore balance to your life. By consciously cutting these cords, you free yourself from the burdens of the past and open the door to healing and renewed mental and emotional clarity.

The Purpose Of Cord Cutting

Cutting these cords of attachment is a powerful energy healing practice to release both parties from the stress and negative energy associated with them. It’s important to note that cutting these cords does not necessarily mean turning your back on the other person or ceasing to care about them. Instead, it’s about releasing the dysfunctional aspects of the connection that may be causing you harm.

If someone you are connected to is going through significant drama or turmoil, they can drain your energy through this etheric cord. You may end up feeling exhausted, out of sorts, or even ‘dirty’ without understanding why. This is because their negative energy is being transferred to you through the cord, making you a sponge for their emotions.

Even physical pain, such as neck and shoulder discomfort, is not always due to physical stress, but may be a result of carrying the emotional load in a relationship. It’s as if you are physically carrying the weight of that relationship.

The cords attach to different chakras depending on the nature of the relationship. Those with whom we have sexual relationships are connected to our sacral or base chakras, while those with whom we are in conflict are connected to our solar plexus. Grief over a person or pet creates a connection through the heart chakra.

The mental and physical space we create by letting go of things that belong in our past gives us the option to fill the space with something new ~ Susan Fay West

The Origins Of Cord Cutting

The concept of “cord cutting” has its roots in ancient spiritual and metaphysical practices, particularly in traditions that emphasize the energetic and subtle body, such as Hinduism, Buddhism, and various indigenous cultures. These traditions recognize the existence of an energetic body that includes chakras (energy centers) and nadis or meridians (energy pathways). The idea is that energetic or etheric cords can form between people, objects, or situations, connecting their energy fields.

In Hinduism, the chakra system is central to understanding how energy flows and connects people. The idea of cutting these cords is related to freeing oneself from attachments that can disrupt the natural flow of energy, contributing to spiritual liberation and balance.

The notion of spiritual ties also plays an important role in various shamanic practices. Shamans, who act as intermediaries between the physical and spiritual realms, often perform rituals to sever unhealthy attachments that affect a person’s well-being. These rituals are designed to restore spiritual harmony and release any negative influence that may remain from past relationships or events.

While the specific practice of cord cutting may be unique to certain spiritual traditions, the underlying concept of releasing negative attachments to promote spiritual and emotional well-being is also present in various world religions.

In Christianity, or example, the concept of forgiveness can be seen as similar to cutting the cord. Forgiveness involves letting go of resentment, anger, and the emotional ties that bind a person to a past hurt or harmful relationship. The practice of praying and asking God’s help to “release” these burdens mirrors the intention behind cord-cutting, which is to remove negative attachments and restore balance.

The Jewish prayer Kol Nidre, recited on Yom Kippur, is a formal declaration that releases individuals from vows or oaths made under duress or in error. It is essentially a spiritual or legal “reset,” where one seeks to clear the slate of unfulfilled obligations.

Islam also encourages the concept of “cutting ties” with negative influences. This can refer to ending relationships or associations that lead one away from righteousness and spiritual purity. The Qur’an and Hadith emphasize the importance of surrounding oneself with positive influences and distancing oneself from those who cause harm or lead one into sin.

The modern concept of cord cutting, as practiced in contemporary spiritual and metaphysical circles, draws heavily on many such teachings and beliefs. It combines elements of these traditions with modern psychological understanding and energy healing practices, emphasizing the importance of releasing unhealthy attachments to promote personal and spiritual well-being.

The sooner we let go of holding on, the sooner we can hold on to the beauty of what’s unfolding before us. Nothing was ever meant to stay the same forever ~ Julieanne O’Connor

A Step-By-Step Guide To Cord Cutting

If you’re feeling drained or burdened by a relationship, past or present, cutting the cord between you and the other person can be a transformative practice. Here’s a simple guide to help you through the process:

Sacred Space: Find a peaceful, undisturbed place where you can relax and focus. Find a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed. It’s best to lie down comfortably.

Relaxation: Close your eyes and begin to take deep, calming breaths. Breathe in and out slowly, letting go of any tension in your body. Continue until you feel completely calm and relaxed.

Grounding and Centering: Ground your energy by imagining roots growing out of your feet, anchoring your aura to the earth and stabilizing you. Focus your attention on your body and breath. Feel grounded and centered.

Intention Setting: Set your intention. Clearly and confidently define the person or relationship dynamic you wish to release. Think about the person with whom you wish to release. Focus on the specific parts of the relationship that are dysfunctional or draining. Visualize this person standing several feet away from you. Picture them clearly in your mind’s eye. Clearly feel your desire to release the bond you have with them or the dynamic you wish to banish.

Visualization: Imagine a string connecting you to the person or situation. Take time to really see this string of energy and acknowledge its existence. Visualize its color and thickness. Notice the energy flowing through the cord and any thoughts, emotions, or sensations associated with it.

Cut The cord: When you are ready, proceed with cutting the cord. Imagine a pair of strong steel or titanium scissors, two of the strongest metals in the world, severing the bond of energy between you and the other person. Cut the cord cleanly and firmly. Visualize the string pulling back into both you and the other being. See the other person or situation pulling away from you, getting smaller and smaller as they float away. Eventually they fade into the background and disappear from view. Feel the lightness of release and the new sense of freedom and inner peace.

Purification: After cutting the cord, it’s important to cleanse your energy. Visualize a light healing sealing the “open wound” or auric port where the cord used to be. Release any remaining emotions or attachments. Imagine your energy field being washed and disinfected. See any remaining negative energy residue or ‘stains’ being washed or blown away and dissipating into the ethers.

Shielding: Then shield your energy field by visualizing a protective light bubble or impenetrable energy barrier around you, protecting you from any further negative energy from the other person or situation.

Gratitude: Express gratitude for the experience you had with this person, for the lessons you learned from it, even the most difficult ones. You may also pray for continued protection and healing.

Seek Support: If you’re struggling, consider seeking guidance from a therapist or energy healer.

Note that you may need to repeat this process several times. Also, consider combining cord cutting with prayer, journaling, meditation, crystal work, or energy healing.

Cutting an energy cord is a very personal journey. Trust your intuition and tailor the process to your needs. While the above guide offers a general approach to energetic cord-cutting, it’s important to respect your own personal beliefs and practices. Cords cannot be successfully cut if the entire process does not resonate with your personal beliefs and preferences.

Cord cutting isn’t about denying your emotions or spiritually bypassing your experiences, but rather, being fully present to your full truth and best forward path ~ Erica Onofrio

The Aftermath Of Cord Cutting

It’s not uncommon for the person with whom you’ve just cut the cord to suddenly seem eager to reconnect, or to lure you back into their dysfunction or drama. This is because they can feel the disconnection and may try to re-establish the energetic connection. They may reach out to you, try to make contact, or unexpectedly appear in your thoughts. Also, do not be surprised if they randomly show up in your life in a place or at a time when you least expect it.

When this happens, remember that there is no need to repeat the separation process. The person may just be making one last attempt to drain your energy, and it’s important to resist the temptation to fall back into old patterns of attachment.

When To Seek Professional Help

While the steps outlined above can be very effective for many people, there are times when self-directed disconnection may not produce the desired results. If you find that the connection remains strong despite your efforts, or if you feel overwhelmed by the emotions involved, it may be beneficial to seek the help of a reputable and appropriately trained spiritual professional or energy healer.

A skilled practitioner can provide more personalized guidance, using advanced metaphysical techniques to ensure that a problematic cord is cut completely and safely. They can also offer support in dealing with the aftermath of the cord-cutting, helping you to heal and move forward with greater clarity and peace. If your own efforts seem inadequate, it’s okay to ask for help. Sometimes the support of a skilled professional is exactly what’s needed to fully break free and embrace a healthier, more balanced life.