codependency
Actions Speak Louder Than Words!
Actions are key in a relationship of any kind, whether it be with family, friends, co-workers, romantic partners, or spouses. Actions indeed speak louder than words! Our behavior and deeds reveal who we truly are. If I was only allowed to offer my clients one piece of relationship advice for the rest of my life, then this would be it: trust what they do, not what they say.
Here is how to look at it. Let’s say you have arranged to go on a date with someone, but they do not show up, and they have all kinds of excuses later. Okay, life happens. So, they did not notify you of their no-show, and they did not care about your feelings in contacting you. Not good. I am not saying dump them right away, but carefully consider how they handled the situation with you. Do they at least appear to care?
This may be a pattern of theirs, so here is where you already need to start watching their actions more carefully. This event may have been due to a random set of unfortunate circumstances beyond their control, or it is an early ‘red flag’ of who they really are. If someone is okay with disappointing or hurting you with the little things, they will have no problem doing the same someday when it truly matters.
Here is another example that I often find in readings: cheating. Let’s say your boyfriend cheated once, and you caught them. He is all upset with himself, and you guys talk it out. He promises he will never do it again. Now, it is one thing for him to say it, but quite another for him to actually keep his word! His future actions will ultimately reveal the truth. If he repeats the same behavior, then his cheating is not just a mistake or a red flag – it is a dealbreaker!
Finding The Light Within
When we rely on codependent, toxic relationships, materialism and possessions, and other superficial sources of ‘fulfillment,’ it creates a weariness within us. It weighs down the soul. It drowns out the inner light.
Material things and human beings by nature cannot be perfectly reliable all of the time. Material items deteriorate and lose their luster. Friendships and relationships come and go. All that ever truly remains is spirit, and what we do to take care of ourselves. As the world is in dismay in the wake of a pandemic, we can choose to turn to spirit and to take better care of ourselves instead.
While others may choose to descend into lack consciousness, greed or an attitude of entitlement, we can choose an attitude of gratitude, inner peace and joyful living instead.
We have a tremendous opportunity right now to expand our spiritual growth and to empower ourselves with self-care. Many folks don’t realize how useful taking just a few minutes out of their busy day can be!
Adopting a new daily spiritual practice, or simply reading an inspiring book, taking a soothing bath, or buying an aromatherapy diffuser can be uplift the spirit and heal the soul.
There is also crystal energy work, nature walks, prayer, and meditation by a body of water to enhance our joy and connect with the Creator who envisioned all this and brought it all into being.
What we can’t control, we can simply turn over to a Higher Power of our understanding. We can surrender to hope and joy, and let go of our fears. We can say, “This does not have to happen on my timeline, let Your will be done in my life.”
The Real Truth About Finding Love
I have been doing psychic readings for almost 20 years now, and the one topic that seems to come up most consistently is romantic love. The main issue that comes up all too frequently in these readings is a confusion about what love really is, and how to find true love.
The first thing I need to point out here is that the idea of ‘finding love’ is completely off-base to begin with. The notion that love must be ‘found’ makes very little from a metaphysical and spiritual perspective, and it is often the main reason why some people find their romantic relationships so challenging.
To say that one must ‘find love’ implies that love is somehow missing, lost, or in hiding. It suggests that love is limited and scarce, and that the experience of love is hidden and very complicated to access. The truth is that love is a transcendent, limitless force, and there is only one love that we all have equal access to.
This is another quandary that people have when they are looking to manifest romantic love in their life – they try to separate love into categories. Yes, there are different expressions of love, but in the end there is only one love. And everyone has access to it. Love is less about finding the ‘right circumstances’ and more about aligning with the vibe of love.
So, what is love? Is it ‘unconditional?’ In my view this is just another way of saying that love is limited. It also implies that there are two different forms of love – conditional and unconditional. This makes no sense, because there is only one love and this one love is always unconditional. Love is unconditional acceptance.
In my experience, this is what most of us are really looking for: unconditional acceptance. We experience love when we unconditionally accept ourselves, others, and our circumstances.
Integrating With 5th Dimension Energies
Our world is undergoing a spiritual detox, and it has been putting immense pressure on everyone to take a leap of faith into the fifth dimension of love… or continue living at a lower vibration in the third dimension of ego.
The people who are choosing to elevate themselves at this time, or in the future, may be experiencing ascension symptoms that range from feeling exhausted, confused, physically sick, overly emotional, and disconnected. This is to be expected, since you are cleansing yourself of things, places or people you no longer identify with.
Those who are stuck in the third dimension thrive on creating drama, are typically narcissistic, and have an aura that is muddled in color. They tend to resort to mind games in relationships and have a difficult time being honest about their intentions. Third dimensional people also go along with the crowd, need to be accepted by others incessantly and develop codependent, toxic relationships.
Third dimensional people also tend to be two-faced, because they have more difficulty integrating the darkness-light polarity within them. Those who are empathetic or intuitive generally sense their energy being depleted when around third dimensional people, so it’s best to keep your distance and say no when necessary.
Spirit Says You Can’t Please Everyone
I have learned that people-pleasing is something that one simply cannot do. People must learn to do it for themselves. We cannot please everyone all of the time, and some people will never be satisfied anyway, no matter how much time, energy and love we offer them. They are simply not ever going to be happy, no matter what. Period.
I can think of various situations where one might feel the need to coddle and people-please those we love and care for, but in the end it will only bring us self dis-ease and stress.
For example, the child who tries to please and be there and do everything for the parent. Why is this a bad idea? Well, the parent may give up if their child tries to do everything for them. Especially if they are older and trying to find themselves and re-establish their own life, after taking care of everyone else their whole life.
Sometimes we can smother an ageing parent with kindness, by trying to do too much for them. When we do this, it makes them second guess their ability to do things for themselves. It may even cause them to worry, have anxiety, or become fearful of living.
It is good to be there for one’s elderly parents, however there is a line that can be crossed if we try and do too much and make them feel like they cannot do certain things anymore. Sure, if their driver’s license has been taken from them, for example, and they cannot see well anymore, then obviously driving them places makes sense. But, if they are still able to function normally, then let them!
Spiritual Attachment And Detachment
The physical world is not the only realm in which some of us struggle with issues of detachment (alienation), or attachment (codependency). The same holds true in the spirit realms.
If we experience spiritual attachment, this usually happens as a result of an addictive personality. In life, one could be addicted to unhealthy relationships, various substances, shopping, food, and so on. The driving force behind all of these is basically the same – the attempt to fill a perceived void with a substitute.
This inclination can then lead to the presence of negative spirit attachments with addictive energies. Perhaps the spirit entity had the same kind of addiction when it was in physical form, and still needs to experience that ‘high.’
When this happens, the victim in the physical world, to whom the spirit entity has attached itself, may become more stubborn and in denial over the need to change their habits. Many friends and family members who have had to deal with addicts, will tell you that addiction changed their loved one’s personality. From a spiritual perspective this is very true.
Spiritual detachment, on the other hand, happens when someone is the victim of abuse or trauma. A part of themselves ‘detaches’ or becomes distant from their core self, which may unintentionally invite a more powerful spirit presence to enter, to ‘protect’ or ‘guide’ the victim. Aristotle’s phrase ‘nature abhors a vacuum’ comes to mind. It means every space or void in nature always needs to be filled with something. The same holds true in the spirit realm.
The Truth About ‘Twin Flames’
If you are confused about the spiritual concept of ‘twin flames’ and ‘soulmates,’ you’re not alone. Perhaps, I can shed some light on this very misunderstood subject.
I could never have understood or imagined it myself either, until I found myself going through the ‘madness’ myself, over 20 years ago. If you have never gone through a so-called twin flame experience, you won’t understand it. It’s a romantic connection like no other! But the biggest lesson I learned for it is that it is also no reason to stay in a toxic relationship.
My twin flame relationship was highly important to me, regardless of it being a one-way street. I meant so much to me that I ended up travelling to Mumbai, India, to obtain advice and assistance from a highly skilled gurugi (spiritual teacher). I was convinced that she could fix things for me, since my relationship was surely ‘meant to be.’
The feelings were so intense, for me, anyway. And, I was convinced that my beloved’s feelings for me were of the same exquisite level. In fact, I had no idea or any way of gauging otherwise. The ultimate fantasy, right!
Further, I thought that it was up to me to heal this person that had captured my heart. It seemed to me the more painful the relationship was, the more healing I had to do for him. As a result, I carried the entire relationship energetically, and emotionally.
For example, although I had always been a passionate ‘foodie,’ I began to look anorexic, as I continued on this healing mission for him. I was eating plenty of good food all the time, but I realize now that I was so drained, as a result of giving him so much of my energy, that it wouldn’t have mattered what, or how much I ate.