boundaries
Only You Can Heal A Recurring Emotional Injury
We are all negatively impacted at times by certain events or people causing us emotional hurt and trauma.
If this is something that is currently weighing on your mind and you feel emotionally injured or overwhelmed today, then the following strategies may help you to overcome the recent setback you suffered.
Not only can these three steps help you to better deal with your current emotional injury, but it can also bring about lasting positive change in your life.
Step 1: Feeling Through
It is vital to process negative emotions. You should never try to suppress or repress unpleasant feelings. It is important that you allow yourself to fully feel your current emotion. Don’t think or rationalize, just feel.
Let the tears of sadness flow, lean into the fear or anxious feelings, or embrace the anger and disappointed. To process and ultimately resolve these feelings, we must first truly feel them.
However, do not spend too much time in this stage of the process. Truly feeling your negative emotions does not mean you must obsess over it or constantly dwell on it. A few hours, or at most a day or two, then let it go! Do not let it drag on for weeks or months, because this will not heal you and will only have a counterproductive effect. After the one-time ‘feeling through’, it is time to move on to the next stage.
Anger Release Empowers The Empath
As an empath, I’ve been personally and professionally targeted by others many times in my life. But I am not the only one. These challenges are common among the highly sensitive. Why do sensitives tend to experience so much bullying? I believe we tend to attract it because we are called to support others in balancing their emotions. We are meant to use our gift of empathy to help heal others.
But at times the empath becomes overwhelmed. She is only human and sometimes also needs to vent. Most of all the empath must learn to release anger and other negative emotion she may experience as a result of the injustice, callousness and even cruelty she often tends to suffer.
Unresolved anger is one of the underlying causes for many addictions and dysfunctional behaviors. Anger that leads to a sense of entitlement, and from entitlement comes dissolved hopes and dreams.
If we learn to surrender our egos and release entitlement, then we find the hopes and dreams we’ve lost return to us. Peace is the ultimate foundation of prosperity and well-being. Having peaceful thoughts and kind intentions for everyone invites abundance into our lives.
This doesn’t mean we have to be a ‘doormat’ for others. If we are truly at peace, our higher vibration commands a natural boundary and the Universe fills in the energetic gaps.
For example, while dealing with a difficult person, someone else may come along to interrupt the conversation with some humor. The Universal Spirit naturally intercedes on our behalf once we set good intentions for everyone by releasing our anger and resentment.
Quick Ways To Pick Yourself Up
We all have bad days. We get disappointing news or have an unpleasant interaction with someone. We all encounter setbacks and dark moments from time to time, as we journey through physical life. It’s part of the human experience.
These negative events may seem unfortunate, or even unnecessary when they occur, but they actually serve to create balance in our life. Without these contrasts we would never appreciate all the good things.
The important thing, however, is to not dwell on the negativity or misery, but to bounce back into alignment with our truth and the abundance and healing power of Spirit as soon as possible.
Some of my favorite ways to quickly pick myself up when I am feeling down include:
Inspirational Words
I love Unity Church’s Daily Word for this. I carry it around with me in my purse for just such occasions. You can also get it as an app for a smartphone. The short, daily reminders feature uplifting affirmations and a brief paragraph or two of inspirational writing on the theme for the day. I always find that they contain just what I needed to hear at that moment to help me gain a new, more positive outlook.
Let’s Go Girls, Vesta Is Calling Us!
Vesta, or Hestia as she is known in Greek mythology, is an asteroid located between Mars and Jupiter that is currently retrograde until October 5th, 2022. This means it is currently in close proximity to Earth and actually visible to the naked eye until Sept 11th, 2022. Women in particular should be watching her path, and engage with her empowering, divine feminine energy at this time.
Some experts believe that according to a formula that predicts the spacing between planets in any given solar system, known as the Titius-Bode law, Vesta may be located in an area that once contained a planet that no longer exists.
German astronomer H.W. Olbers first spotted the asteroid on March 29th, 1807, and his colleague Carl Friedrich Gauss named it Vesta. It takes 3.63 years for Vesta to travel around the sun, nearly twice as long as the orbit of planet Mars.
Vesta is the virgin goddess of the hearth, home, and family in Roman mythology. She is ‘the fire that warms, but never burns.’ In ancient Roman times, six vestal virgins had the sacred duty as priestesses at her temple to tend the vestal flame.
This was considered a very important job, as this sacred fire was deemed to be vital to the security and stability of Rome and therefore could never be allowed to go out. It took extreme focus and care to keep the flame alive.
The vestal priestesses did not have to comply with of the usual social and cultural obligations imposed on women in those patriarchal times. They were not required to marry and have children, but instead took a 30-year vow of chastity in order to fully devote themselves to service.
Empaths Need Firm Psychosocial Boundaries
Psychosocial balance is tricky for the empath. It requires managing expectations, checking our reactions and emotions, and most especially setting boundaries. Because it is so easy for us to link into the feelings and emotions of those around us, empaths often forget that others may not respond in kind.
For the empath it’s all about balancing your intuitive gifts with your expectations, and finally your responses. Work, friendships, relationships, all the things that encompass our daily lives, require vigilance to ensure that balance is maintained, or chaos will ensue.
For the Type A empath, jobs, friendships and relationships can end very abruptly with major repercussions. The more assertive empath tends to have the motto of “do unto others before they do unto you.” They will leave a job, a relationship or a friendship at the drop of a hat. The more subdued, timid empath tends to stay in miserable job situations, one-sided friendships, and sometimes downright abusive intimate relationships.
At work especially it is very important for all empaths to remember that there is almost always going to be some personality clashes. Others do not always view us favorably. Remember that you are there to do a job – your job. Staying focused on your work, the requirements of that job and your performance is your primary responsibility. Confronting someone, especially a superior, with “what’s your problem, I know you don’t like me” is counterproductive. Similarly the typical response of the introverted empath to quit, or at least never address any issues, is also futile.
Yes, it can be gut-wrenching or infuriating for empaths to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that a co-worker or boss doesn’t care for them, or has it out for them, but utilize your gift! As an empath you can read the feelings and intentions of others. This gives you a map to the personalities you are dealing with. Use that information to moderate your own responses to the situation and the individuals you are dealing with in your professional environment.
Saturn Squaring Nodes Of Fate
Saturn is currently in the sign of Aquarius until March 7th, 2023. To honor this placement, let us consider what’s important for the collective and the world. We are in challenging times. A time weighed down by the Nodes of Fate, signalling that important decisions are to be made for humanity as a whole.
And we are all being asked to step-up and take responsibility (Saturn), to plan for the future (Saturn in Aquarius), and firm up our foundations with dogged determination (Saturn in Aquarius).
The time has come to fill in the gaps, and set up new rules and boundaries (Saturn), if we are to evolve on earth in a manner built on integrity (Saturn).
Weighty words indeed, but this is Saturn (Cronus) we’re talking about: a fellow in Greek mythology you don’t want to mess around with. A severe Titan he was the Lord of the Universe, but he feared he’d be overthrown by one of his children, in the same way he forced his own father, the sky god, Uranus, to flee Dodge.
Why would Cronus/Saturn do such a thing to his father? It was a choice he made to stand up for his family; for his mother who was grieving over the monstrous injustices done to her children who were imprisoned by their father, Uranus, in the pits of Tartarus.
Cronus was the strongest of the Titans and took up the challenge to do the right thing. When one is fearless and faces the future (Aquarius) with an eye toward humanity, instead of the selfish needs of the self (low side of Saturn), one can achieve great works that will be rewarded.
Keeping The Family Out Of Your Love Life
Family and our relatives have a huge impact on our romantic lives, whether we realize it or not. We bring so much from the way we were raised into our love relationships and marriages.
But having had a difficult childhood does not necessarily set us up for challenges and failure in our relationships. In fact, for those who are self-aware it can be an advantage of choosing not to bring the toxic drama of your childhood home into a current relationship.
For example, if you saw your father treat your mother without respect, you might set your mind to never allowing that happen in your own relationship. This kind of courage and personal responsibility can break the cycle.
We all have things that happen in childhood things that happen that are out of our control, it is all in how you deal with them that forms us as adults. We have a choice always.
The other aspect is culture and the values and customs with which we were raised. Depending on the circumstances it can have a significant impact on our relationships. Once again it is a choice how we want to handle it. Do we follow the family traditions, or not?
It takes courage and an open mind to march to your own drum. Standing up for what you believe can also go a long way. Sometimes this is vital to ensure a healthy, happy relationship that will last.
Of course, the biggest challenge for most couples is having the family up in your relationship business. Do your relatives influence your decisions and interfere in your relationship? Navigating a relationship or marriage successfully in this day and age is challenging enough.